New member says hey

by jay dubless 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • jay dubless
    jay dubless

    I have lurked now and then, just decided to join.

    My older brother and I were raised by our JW mom, but our dad was a non-practicing Catholic. So we went to the Hall, but were considered "weak" witnesses, since our family still celebrated Xmas and birthdays, to appease my dad I suppose. As a kid, I loved these holidays.

    Anyways, when my brother was 17 (I was 13), he spent a few weeks with our cousins in KY, who are all gung-ho J-dubs, and upon his return, he decided he was going to be more "theocratic". He announced that he wouldn't celebrate Xmas or birthdays anymore. My dad was bummed, as was I. At this point, my brother was a changed guy. Super-theocratic. As for me, I didn't want any of my schoolmates or neighborhood friends to know that I was a JW. But, I did get a bit more theocratic myself, for a few years anyway.

    Well, at age 14, I got baptised, and when I was 16, I vacation pioneered for one month in the summer. Where I lived (SE MI), the JW teens had a tremedous social scene, with parties and get togethers, softball games, ping pong, etc a big part of the scene. We all knew each other, even from different congregations on the other side of the city. Then after one circuit assembly, around 1968, there was an afterparty planned, but the Circuit Servant, Dennis Bennett, heard about it. His closet gestapo persona arose, and he announced that "there will be no party" in his closing remarks. Man, were we bummed. What a control freak. Does anyone remember him? He would have looked stunning in an SS officers uniform.

    I moved out of state at age 20, chasing a girl, foregoing higher education of course, and learned a technical trade, which is still my profession (I am 60 now). Where I moved to, I just didn't find very many of the j-dubs very likeable. Self-righteousness was much more evident. After 1975 came and passed, I started to think for myself more, and I dropped out at age 24, in 1976. My brother tried to get me to come back to the Hall, but I just told him that I was not religiously inclined at this point in my life. I never spoke out against the Org, in the hopes of retaining a good relationship with my brother, and my mom's side of the family. It was half-hearted on my brother's part, at best. He only would communicate (mostly all emails) in the hopes that someday I would return to "the truth". As for my cousins, I was now considered the black sheep of the family.

    My brother was appointed elder at age 21. He is the presiding overseer in his congregation. He turned down a scholarship when he was 18, to be an architect, in order to pioneer. He is retired now from a menial task job he had his whole adult life. In fact, he quit his job in 1974, losing his seniority from 1968, in order to prepare for Armageddon (stay alive til '75!).

    Last week, he mentioned that his sister in law is going in for brain surgery, so I asked him that if she by chance has a NDE (near death experience), and recovers, I would like to hear about that. Well, that set him off. He sent me PDFs from the WT, said that any such experiences are likely demon influence, etc. I responded that he should read the book, Proof of Heaven, by Dr Eben Alexander. I then spilled the beans, and told him I left because I disagree with several doctrines: shunning; and that JWs are the only ones who are going to "make it". I said that I don't need any earthly religion to maintain a relationship with Jah, that I try to live a good life, in accordance with the 10 commandments, treat me friends and family well. He accused me of visiting apostate websites, and said he would be withdrawing fellowship, since he puts Jehovah and his people before family. What irked me, is that his final letter was a PDF attachment. As if it could be viewed by outsiders, used against me in who knows what fashion. Since I disassociated myself 36 years ago, I tried to hold onto my relationship with him, but it appears to be over now. I don't hold any animosity towards him. I read Crisis of C, and am now reading In Search of CF, and find Brother Franzs' writings to be very satisfying at this point in life. What a fine man he was, and a fine example of an actual Christian.

    The good part: I've got 2 old friends (brothers) from my youth, who also dropped out along the way, who I still communicate with, they of course know my brother, and we have a lot in common to talk about. One of them went on to get his PhD. These are fine men now, and we discuss spiritual matters sometimes, and it is always uplifting. "Where there are 2 or more in discussion, there I am amongst you". Or something along those lines. Sorry for being long winded.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome! Sorry to hear that your brother is still being tricked by the corporation.

  • BlindersOff1
    BlindersOff1

    A Warm Welcome to you

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Welcome

  • Gojira_101
    Gojira_101

    WELCOME! Glad to have you here with us!

    G.

  • Sparlock the Wizard
    Sparlock the Wizard

    Welcome, jay dubless

    Glad that you made the right decision to think for yourself; sorry about your brother. I'd love to read some of your experiences and/or future posts

  • Emery
    Emery

    Welcome, and hang in there.

  • Vienna Angelika
    Vienna Angelika

    I finsished reading Crisis of Conscience, and am on to In Search of Christian Freedom too! On Chapter 3 actually! Raymond Franz was such a great person. I will always look up to him!

  • crmsicl
    crmsicl

    Welcome Jay Dubless. I used to be from SE Michigan too. Redford if you know where that is but we were not dubs at the time. That didn't come til we moved away from family and friends in '76 for work reasons. We were a bit lonely, vulnerable and got sucked in just as Steve Hassan describes. Free now though and lovin it.

    You seem to be handling the loss of a relationship with your brother realistically. I hope better days lie ahead.

  • scary21
    scary21

    Welcome Jay, I was also was raised in SE MI with a JW mom and unbelieving dad. I remember all the parties and fun the JW teens were having. I was 13-14 yrs old then. The group would not hang with me because they thought I was to young. I had go go to the world where age was just a#....lol lol It made me mad because I looked older then some of the girls, and longed to have friends. Now I'm glad because I may have got sucked into being baptized. Missed the fun by 2 yrs, but it sounds like it didn't last .

    Sherry

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