Still in with kids (page 4)

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome! I'd recommend Steve Hassan's books on Combatting Cult Control to help you to free other loved ones, there's a skill to this, and you can learn it. Based on my experience of losing my kids to the WTBS, I'd have to tell you to run fast and leave it behind them and you before it's tentacles ruin your family. But I do get that sometimes it's not so easy...so...I'd build strong family traditions and be sure to place the unity and love of your family above anything, and I mean anything JW related. Without traditional holidays etc it won't be so easy, cos those things are what cement family memories and bonds.

I can't urge you strongly enough to escape and bring up your kids in freedom though. What about a strategic fade so that you keep some extended family, once of course you've managed to help your other half? Lots of good info and support here to help you.

Loz x

humbled

Dear TA,

The danger of staying in too long as your children are growing is that they do feel the influence of those around them. Even more so if you believe that the JWs that "love" them are important to them.

But there is this: you can as a believer give greater weight in their minds to the integrity and love that the WT says it gives to the teachings of Jesus--BUT DOES NOT. When you do that then your eventual break out will make complete sense to them. In fact, they will almost certainly develop a disgust for what they hear and see in the Organization and chaff at the bit.

Getting thrown out of the religious circle, i.e. the synagogue, is in the finest traditions of personal faith. Just look at Jesus.

All the best dear sister,

Maeve

PS I am the mother of seven grown children NONE of whom are JWs. I am sorry for the wounds they carry related to my JW affilliation.

BlindersOff1

A Warm Welcome to you

ABibleStudent

Welcome thinking_ability, As Lozhasleft wrote, read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs") and watch his videos if your goal is to only help your children to think critically. If you have specific and very urgent concern(s), you can contact Steve Hassan or one of his coaches on his website for ~ $100/40-60 minutes.

Also, have you considered making more non-JW friends so that your children can make play dates with non-JW children? Increasing your family's circle of friends to non-JWs will help you if you decide to fade. Have you read threads by other members on JWN who have successfully helped their children and families leave the WTBTS such as the journey of my children in awakening by Aussie Oz?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Thor

Hi and welcome thinking_ability!

My family (husband, wife, daughter, son and his girlfriend) all left the organization at the same time almost six years ago. The only thing I wish we could have done better is to have left sooner. So I would say to you to really think about everything that inpact your children and get out ASAP!

I hope you find your way,

Mrs. Thor

TheListener

From my own experience with my kids (and a JW wife). Non-JW activities and friends. plus talk about unconditional love (and mean it) and teach them how to think for themselves. One way I did that was to discuss some of the commercials especially aimed at kids and to briefly talk to them about how one-sided they are. I even bought a few items that I knew would be duds but the kids just couldn't see through the commericals - they did once they tried to use the things. I also explained that people that have all the answers - don't.

I wish you the best of luck. It can be so stressful at times. I'm glad your husband isn't real active right now. But, please be ready for him to swing back n forth like a pendulum.

return of parakeet

Thinking Ability: " I cant imagine separating my babies from all these people that lovemy babies but want them to think for themselves "

Your children should come first. The love the dubs give your children is conditional. Get them away from dub influence as soon as you can. If you haven't experienced it yourself, you should know that a dub childhood is miserable.

deus.ex.machina: " Encourage any non-JW interests they may have and stress the importance of education."

Hi, newbie. Cute name. Good advice for TA. Do you plan to descend from the heavens in your machine often to help out us mere mortals? The rest of us can be your "chorus."

thinking_ability

Thank you everyone for your practical advice, I have came at my husband with a few TTATT things but the brick wall comes up and he goes on the major defensive. TheListener you are so right about the pendulum!! He can go from completely inactive to all of a sudden the dub nazi. Just gotta keep those little minds thinking I guess so they can see through the BS.

Hopefully by the time they start asking questions I will feel a bit more comfortable with what I believe in. Right now I feel like I havent got the skills to think for myself or create my own belief system, I just can't believe in anything at this moment.

On a postitve.....It's AMAZING to be mentally free!!!!

lost

Welcome

i am in the same boat, don't know what to do, or what to believe now.

everyones comments are a great help, my kids are not in, I have been inactive, but feel pulled back. very confusing.

Deus.ex.Machina

Slightly topic hijacking to say thanks for the warm welcome.

Also I hope the advice given by all has been helpful.

Still in with kids

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