Ok I need some advice on how to decline an elder's appointment.... (page 4)

2+2=5

Tell them you have a problem with masturbation, God hates a wanker.

Seriously though, you get good advice here. I will go now and let the adults keep talking.

problemaddict

Irondork is right. Your hesitance to do aomething that under any other circumstance is easy (turn down something you don't want to do), is a vestige of how our minds are connected to the group.

Hey bud.....you want to go to the dump and count sea gulls?

No thanks.

Why not.

Just doesn't sound like a nice afternoon.

See what I mean? Just say no. Now onto more important and perplexing things like....you are an MS and a pioneer? How about taking yourself off the list by needing to "care for your familiys phyical well being" and go get a full time job.

Once yout profile goes down in the hall, you work on your wife through questions in family study.

Then take her "out" at odd times. Maybe even during the meeting (gulp). Then you know your wife, and you can play it by ear. My wife was a pioneer for 15 years. Went to the school twice. She was groomed to be a CO wife. Pretty, obedient, no children, submissive, and 100% loyal to the org. I have her 85% out! :)

So it can be done. it just takes patience, time, and some conviction on your part. Eventually you can step down as a servant, and then fade.

problemaddict

By the way, LOL @ sulla thinking out of the box.

Paralipomenon

Tell them that you accept and get excited. Then say you need to calm your nerves a bit and pull out a pack of cigarettes in front of them and head for the door.

Edit: bonus points if you ask the elder if he has a light.

Bobcat

SuvaoJr:

Get off the school. Unless I missed something, you will never be appointed for anything if you are not on the school. Even if the elders wanted to, the CO will not let them.

You don't have to give a reason. Nor do you need to ask the School servant. Just tell him you are getting off the school until further notice. Better yet, write it on a peice of paper that 'starting on such and such a date you will no longer be on the school until further notice.'

They're going to ask why or suggest just putting you on hold but still on the school. Just look at them and say, 'On such-and such a date I'm off the school, brothers, until further notice.'

Incidentally, once you are off, you will begin to notice that many of the other friends wish they weren't bothered by the school either, but don't have the guts to get off it. So they have to suffer the School Servant giving them short notice talks on subjects they couldn't care less about, with housholders (in the case of sisters) who also wish they weren't bothered. And you will finally enjoy it when you hear the School Servant 'bragging' about how this is a school you never graduate from.

out4good3

Forgive my ignorance. What would be the problem with stating simply, "I'm not interested in being an elder." If they press the issue, follow up with, "Please respect my decision."

Forgive my ignorance as well because that is exactly what I'm thinking.

I don't know what it is that people still think that they have to turn themselves in knots and continue to jump through fiery hoops whenever an JW elder wants to ask them a question.

NO!!.....is still a perfectly good answer when someone is asking you to do something you don't think is wise or good for you.

....and if they continue to press.....

just ask them what part of NO!!! did they not understand.

tiki

just say no.....................simple. you owe no explanations or reasons, you simply decline graciously. basic point - if you WANT to do something, you will. if you do NOT want to do something, you are under no obligation. let your "yes mean yes and your no mean no".....and you do not have to produce reasons. you are a free moral agent and can choose what you want to do or do not want to do and it is nobody's business why you choose as you do.

NVR2L8

Grow a beard...

GromitSK

I suspect it's not necessarily quite as simple as just saying 'no thanks'. I would think that for a male JW, especially an elder, this is seen as the pinnacle of their achievement. The recognition, the authority, the stamp of approval from the Borganisation and Big J himself, why on earth would any peson decline this honour? Especially after working so hard for 'Kingdom Interests' as a pioneer? If I was offering the position to someone and they declined, I think it would ring alarm bells unless there was some reason I knew up front and that didn't just appear out of the blue.

Depending in the congregation, and the OP's relationship the elders, his wife, their families etc, he may be concerned that it will raise more amber lights than he is happy to deal with. Sometimes we spot changes in behaviour very quickly and can jump to conclusions equally rapidly about the reasons for them, with or without supporting information.

My own suggestion is to think of the possible negative outcomes of not accepting and develop a strategy for dealing with each of them whilst raising minimal concerns. Get all the outcomes listed before you start to tackle them, as a single approach that deals with most of them may emerge. The more time spent planning this, the more likely you will be able to control the process without alerting anyone to your real state of mind before you are ready.

Glander

Irondork - Forgive my ignorance. What would be the problem with stating simply, "I'm not interested in being an elder." If they press the issue, follow up with, "Please respect my decision."

perfect. keep it simple.

Ok I need some advice on how to decline an elder's appointment....

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