Distrust and paranoia among faders

by cedars 77 Replies latest jw friends

  • joyfulfader

    I think its always good to be careful when sharing any information with anyone. It is interesting that I dont care anymore what happens. I dont have the paranoia I thought I would. I have been establishing a jw-free life so what they do or dont do affects me very little. I am amazed how quickly learning the TTATT changed my whole perspective. What will be will be.

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    I've been pretty open on here, from posting my picture to saying exactly what congregation I attended. I may have even publicly posted my name. But I have nothing to lose, none of the local dubs matter to me and my only dub family members live several hundred miles away and we never had a close relationship anyway. It's totally different for people who have something to lose.

  • punkofnice

    I tried to fade but the b#stards pursued me and especially so because my wife kept reporting me to the elders.

    Now I've been booted out I don't give a monkey's cuss what any JW thinks. It's time to live what's left of my wasted life.

  • mamochan13

    "one foul sweep" - I love it Cantleave!

    I guess in a way I was one of the lucky ones. I managed to fade on my own terms without being shunned completely by immediate family. Most of the JWs I used to know are pleased to see me and very nice to me when I run into them. I put up political signs and christmas lights, so people know. But I think the difference is that they don't see me as apostate, just as someone who left but might come back some day. I think ti makes a big difference in how you are treated.

    But it's so disturbing that people have such deep fear to leave. The fact that people can't trust other faders or ex-JWs says a great deal about what this cult really is.

  • Phizzy

    I was far too trusting when I first left, which led to an awkward time, if you have much to lose by being outed I would say you cannot be too careful.

    Now I don't actually care what the silly little up-their-own-arse JW's do, but I am not going to offer them the chance to fling me out on a plate, the buggers are going to have to work for it if that is what they want.

    I vote, I donate blood, I celebrate Christmas by their standards, all without looking over my shoulder, if they gather proof of any of these and try to DF me for any one of them, I say to those Elders : "Good Luck with that !".

    You cannot allow your past JW life to shape your future life, or you are never truly free.

  • I quit!
  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Until you are ready to make a real commitment to getting out it is best to be cautious with who you share your information with because it all comes down very quickly once it gets in the hand of an active JW.

  • LongHairGal


    Sad to say it, but I agree that you are wise to be cautious and that some people can't be trusted because they just might go back. And, as you said, in order to "prove" how sincere they are to those wolves in the religion, they would tell all! [master, master, please forgive me!!]

    Another thing that cannot be discounted is that you do not know the age and mentality of the person you are corresponding with on here! Here you are perhaps a mature person and are sincere, meanwhile you are corresponding with a baby. Then the young'un goes back to momma and spills the beans.

    This is sad and disillusioning when it does happen because we want to be friends with people here. But, we do live in the real world and we are dealing with all types, and so must exercise caution.

    As for me, I am a twelve year fader and I don't care at this point what the religion and its deluded minions think. I am just relieved to be out of there!

  • cedars


    some people can't be trusted because they just might go back

    This very thing happened with a relative of mine who had stopped attending meetings. I recall having at least one conversation highlighting the extent of my discontent with the organization. He/she is now "back in the fold" and even taking steps to ensure his/her children are indoctrinated. Fortunately, and inexplicably, he/she doesn't appear to be causing me any problems. Still, I'm glad there are certain details I didn't divulge when we talked. If I had known they would go back, I wouldn't have said anything.


  • Apognophos

    Speaking of paranoia... I'm still new here so I don't know if this is ever done, has anyone ever asked the admin to delete some of their posts? On most forums, you can edit your posts even years afterward, so it makes me a little uncomfortable that everything I write here is set in stone after 30 minutes.

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