Most of us were at one time in life dedicated and loyal witnesses. The negativity comes with hurt and the anger from being hurt. There are many reasons and each has a different set of them. You are searching for answers you haven't found at the meetings or in the publications or you wouldn't be on this site. As you learn from your own efforts and research, which I encourage you to do, ( jwfacts is terrific and quotes organization literature and is truly an unbiased examination of WT teachings through the years) . You may experience similar pain as you realize the depth of betrayal at the hands of these self proclaimed shepherds. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit for believers not a slave class (type or anti type of an illustration or is it a prophecy , huh?) that holt spirit will open your spiritual eyes if you simply ask. So when you feel as we do you will understand and not be offended by it. Some of us were molested, mistreated, gave up education & retirement , sold our homes, gave up our health (I was an international construction worker and saw firsthand older witnesses who ended up sick directly because of their assignments who were sent home with no care/no money to get care/ no money from savings to take care of themselves/ abandoned by this org or Borg) I experienced a very similar tale of Candace Conti in the 70's and bro Henschel was spoken with directly who said they wont act because of two witness rule and because of the ignorant "child repressed memory theory" ...he was completely wrong in every way!!! Funny, I was one of the few with two witnesses. It was sick.
Anyway, with some knowledge of the issues, you will mature and will hopefully become more empathetic to those of us needing to gripe and vent a little and at the same time find companionship and insights as you walk the road less traveled seeking truth.