Why WTBTS Disfellowshipping Works...

by AGuest 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • AGuest

    To the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace!

    I just wanted to share with you, briefly, what I have come to understand as to why disfellowshipping by the WTBTS works... why it can continue being fomented as it is. I realize there are pages and pages of studies regarding cults and cult mindsets, etc., but I am not going to inundate you with such but rather try to keep this simple. Disfellowshipping works, yes, because of fear... something we all understand: the WTBTS members are taught to fear those who the "authorities" say are "bad association," for whatever reasons. And yes, they use threats of "Armageddon" and displeasing God to foment such fear. But there is another thing that allows this phenomenon to continue as well... and that is the mental laziness of the people who accept it.

    I ask those of you here, who have experienced disfellowshipping, even perhaps some kind of marking/reproof... how many of your JW family members/friends bothered to come to you and ASK you what had taken place to warrant your expulsion/marking... in an effort to really understand? My guess is not many, if any. I am willing to wager that MOST of them simply took the word of others (elders) not only that you "deserved" to be so expelled/marked... but as to why.

    If that is the case, I want to ask you: how did/do you feel about that? How did it make you feel to know that people you cared about... and thought cared about you... never even bother to ask YOU what the situation was all about? Did that not make you feel terrible, perhaps even angry at those who were accusing you? And how did it make you feel about those who did not so ask you... but blindly accepted such accusations? Did it confuse you, cause you to question whether you had really known such people, or had ever even meant anything to such people?

    Of course, having been treated in such a way, the last thing that you would [want to] do is treat others so, yes? Having experienced the pain and disillusioned such caused you... would you not at least go, if you could, or perhaps call... and speak to anyone among YOUR family/friends who now faced a similar situation? Especially if the "rumor" is that they're "apostates", or had committed some heinous (but not mortal) wrong that you just can't fathom (for example, the rumor is that they've "left 'Jehovah'" and have now joined up with people who sacrifice their children to a pagan god)? Knowing the many lies that were told about YOU... would you not at least make some effort to find out whether the rumors are actually TRUE?

    OR... would you continue in the learned practice you had before... of just accepting what others said to you... perhaps some elder(s)... or even some sundry publisher... maybe one you didn't even know before... that the person was indeed engaged in some awful conduct, that the "authorities" WERE right (of course, they are - they're ALWAYS right and no one can/should speak against them)... and assume them some kind of "evildoer"?

    Today, we ourselves are sometimes falsely accused by others, even after having left the harlotous confines of the WTBTS. We know what it was like being falsely accused by those of her... and, unfortunately, we sometimes feel the pain of being falsely accused since. Should we, though, engage in that kind of similar conduct, basing our perceptions of others on accusations made against them... sometimes by people WE don't even know, let alone who don't know THEM... without even bothering to ask THEM what the situation might TRULY be? Should we just accept what others say... perhaps even those we KNOW have opposition, contention, or quarrel with the one(s) they accuse?

    Or should we make attempts to get ALL sides and draw our conclusions from that... if indeed we even NEED to draw conclusions? Perhaps we shouldn't at all... because there is either not enough information available to us... or... we understand the command of our Lord, the HOLY One of Israel, JAHESHUA, the Chosen One of JAH (MischaJah) not judge anyone... or anything before it's time. But if we believe we NEED to draw a conclusion, should we do so based solely on the accusations of others?

    And if we do so judge... but later find out we were in error... do we go to the one(s) wrongly judged and try to set the matter straight? Granted, that can be a difficult task... but do we allow ourselves the LOVE it takes to do so?

    A good verse to consider when contemplating this, judging another... or thinking we "know" what's occurring with them... when perhaps we don't or at least not as much as do, is Proverb 18:13, which states:

    One who answers to a matter before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish."

    Since there is virtually always TWO sides to a story, listening to only one side... and then drawing a conclusion... may not be wise. Indeed, one can find themselves having judged a matter prematurely, perhaps even having to sue for peace and grant an apology later. If you've been a VICTIM of this, false accusations... with others not even bothering to ask YOU for clarification... then to turn around and do it to others... is hypocrisy, yes, and something we want to take care NOT to practice? Please know, of course, that I offer this truth NOT in an attempt to tell you what to do, but in the same spirit of love as Priscilla and Aquila offered to Apollos... so that you can make a choice should such situations arise in YOUR life... and so, just some things you might want to consider. Again, peace to you! Your servant, as I am servant to ALL those of the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... and a doulos of Christ, SA

  • JWOP

    I was disfellowshipped as an apostate because I began a website which showed Bible truth instead of Watchtower Society truth.... plus I wouldn't shut up about my then-recent discovery of the UN/NGO scandal. It was my own family members who turned me in, so they already knew what my judicial and appeal committees were for; I didn't have to explain anything to them.

    That was in 2004, and they have nothing to do with me unless they happen to need something I can provide. And, because they ARE my family, I do help them when they ask. Just because they choose to take the low road doesn't mean I can't take the high road.

  • jam

    What action would you take if the person is a adulterous,

    a thief (scaming friends) or a child molester?

  • BluesBrother

    The misunderstanding here is to think that J W's have any real regard for whether the d/f was justified in their eyes or not. They know that different people may come to different conclusions. The only conclusion that matters is that of the J/Committee. They have made their decision and dubs will accept it. That is all that they care about ,it is called obedience and loyalty.

    They do not dare to question it, so they are better off not knowing. It is just like "1984". Once a person , like the charecter "Syme" was vanished, nobody dared to think of him again.

    The D/f one has to make all the moves now to come back

  • AGuest

    If you're asking me, dear jam (peace to you!)... which I will assume since I started the thread and dear JWOP's comment doesn't seem to apply, it would depend:

    1. If they were (or professed to be) a member of Christ's Body... or were someone well-known to me (a co-worker, neighbor, etc.) I would follow my Lord's direction (Matthew 18:15-17):

    a. If he sinned against me (or the Body), I would:

    (1) Go talk to him about it alone (and tell him he should stop/make it right/pay/turn himself in); if he listens, cool. If it was a theft, I might offer to pay for the item so that my brother is not styled/does not become a thief (explained further in 2.b, below). If he doesn't listen, I would...

    (2) Take a couple/few others with me and try to talk to him about doing the right thing), again; if he listens, cool. If not, I would...

    (3) Speak to the Body and have the Body speak to him about it; if he listens, cool. If he doesn't, I would...

    (4) Treat him as one of the world. In which case, I might have to report it to the one offended (if they are well-known to me) and/or the state (if the law requires it). If not, then I would just know about it and leave it be; however, I would not judge the person (as deserving life or death). I would try to live the example I want them to see while being a bit cautious in MY dealings with him/her.

    b. If he sinned against another, it would depend on whether his offense was any of my business or not. If not, I would mind my own business. If so, I would follow steps (a)(1) through (a)(4).

    2. If they did NOT professed to be a member of Christ's Body and wasn’t someone I knew very well (or knew the one offended very well), I would:

    a. Mind my own business as to the adultery;

    b. As to the theft, let them know I saw them (and perhaps tell them to put it back... which I have done with young people MANY times... or, depending on what the item(s) is/are, perhaps offer to pay for them so they wouldn’t be styled a thief – which I have also done many times when I’ve seen people stealing food or clothing; sometimes the store will let you pay and let them go, sometimes not. The bigger stores, usually not. Even so, the person seems grateful that I offered)

    c. As to the pedophilia, let them know I know AND report them to the proper authorities.

    This is what I would do, though; it is not my place to try and put any OTHER “under law,” so each one must decide for himself/herself what THEY would do under such circumstances.

    I hope this helps. Again, peace to you!

    A doulos of Christ,


  • AGuest
    They do not dare to question it, so they are better off not knowing

    Yes, but how effective would DF'ing be if they DID question... and possibly know, dear BB (peace to you!)? And that it my point: the WTBTS really only gets away with what it's "house" allows it to. The illusion they've created... that the power lies in the FEW... is why it works. It's an illusion because the real power lies with the many. Unfortunately, the many are "asleep"... as to their power as well as to what takes place with this matter, DF'ing.

    Unfortunately, even though they may have left that "slumberland", some are still asleep... and still practice this: judging matters without hearing all of the facts/information/sides... but sometimes conceding to the judgment of a few. Hopefully, those who still do this can realize the error in that... and move past it. For their own good, as well as perhaps those they may pre-judge as a result.

    Again, peace to you!

    A doulos of Christ,


  • cofty
    As to the pedophilia, let them know I know AND report them to the proper authorities.

    That would be a big mistake.

    It gives the culprit time to cover their tracks, dispose of evidence and perhaps threaten their victim.

    So what brought on this thread Shelby? Are you concerned you are being called to account for your recent behaviour and you want to sow seeds of doubt?

  • justmom

    After being disfellowshipped for so-called apostacy and "ONE" of many rumors that went on about my husband and I after we left was that we had been possibly molesting our OWN children........ (which in my opion was the worst accusation one can make) AND ANYONE and EVERYONE should have known us better than that to say, "NO WAY!" They have NEVER been anything but a loving family and were there for everybody in the congregation when they needed things"......therefore YES they should have "ASKED" what in the world happened to make you SEE in such a short amount of time that the organization was a "FALSE CHRIST"..

    But they didn't. Neither did anybody on either sides of our family. Both my husband and I were raised in the org.

    I know now that there are almost 99.99999% of the time another side of a story. And that because I had wished they had granted that of my husband and I ...sorta like a court trial..a fair court trial.....heck just even a trial..... I have learned that I NEED to be that way with everyone else.

    I am reminded of the verse that states " That if come to know your brother....(even not your brother maybe even your acquaintance or even a so-called enemy) has something against you...because The Love of Christ will even go as far....before you take your gift offering to Jah shouldn't you at least tryyyy to make peace with them. And wouldn't trying involve looking into what caused the feeling or accusation.?

    That I understand now.....much more because of what I have been through what that may have reference to.

    It does help alot and I have found that alot of times things are NEVER as they appeared which saved a lot of judgeing in my heart that "I" didn't need. LOL



  • jam

    JW,s discipline compared to traditional religion.

    We will pray for them. When it come to gossip, JW,s

    are the worst. Talking to my sister about her close freind,

    she said " we all have problems, our minister told us to say

    a pray for them". The biggest problem in the larger churches,

    where,s the money ( the building fund money), LOL.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Chapter 11 of Ray Franz' In Search of Christian Freedom is called "The Misuse of Disfellowshiping." It has a section called "Inflexible Enforcement of Organizational Law." Here's the start of that section:

    The manner in which elders apply Watch Tower policies clearly
    shows that they do indeed view them as law. The inflexible attitude
    produced—or, at the very least, condoned—by the organizational
    headquarters causes elders to view neither circumstance, age,
    health, years of association, nor any such factor as affecting the
    requirement of full compliance with all organizational rules, full
    acceptance of all its teachings.

    Many members similarly just go along.

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