JWs say it's my fault I didn't go to university ?!

by ekruks 51 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • ekruks

    Like many on here, as a JW trying hard to follow the direction of the GB, I listened to the advice to pioneer and trust in Jehovah to provide (Mat6.33) instead of going to university. After struggling for ages in low-paid physically-demanding jobs, I decided to become a student (thanks for the encouragement on here guys!)

    I tell a JW I wish I had been to university when I was a teenager, and put all that pioneer time into studying hard for a good grade, get a good job, and if I had wound up tired as I am now, at least I would have been paying into a mortgage on a home and pension. Seems a lot better than approaching middle-age with a dead-end job, struggling to pay rent on a flat in the cheapest neighbourhood !

    The response was strange -

    JW - It's your fault, you didn't need to pioneer, you chose to, but could have been like other brothers who don't [put the Kingdom first]

    Me - It's expected for a brother to reach out. I was only doing what the Watchtower encourages.

    JW - You have to use common sense! Don't just do what you are told.

    Me - If I can pick and choose which bits to follow, and ignore some, I could just ignore all the Watchtower !

    JW - You made the problem for your self by taking what people say too seriously.

    {Thought: Well, I'm not taking it seriously now that I don't go to the Kingdom Hall - if this is "the Truth", we should do it properly, and if somethings not right, instead of choosing bits we like and ignoring some, just leave?}

    Me - The elders pressured me to quit college. They repeatedly took me aside and counselled me, I was in bad standing in the cong.

    JW - No one said you can't go to university. {This person actually told me not to, and still does !}

    Me - It's in print. Do we read the same Watchtowers?

  • mrsjones5

    Don't ya just love the gaslighting?

  • Gayle

    The WTS leadership/GB and their unquestioning members will never say they are sorry,,they only blame "others" who said this or that. Bottomline, it is us who 'pay the price.' We can only spare the rest of our lives, and hopefully be a part to help others investigating to spare their life from the empty promises of the WTS.

  • wasblind

    An education was thought to be applyin' for a job

    in a company that was goin' out of business

    That was reaptedly said by Jehovah's witnesses

    IN the New System there would be no need for doctors and lawyers

  • wannabefree

    I was in my freshman year of university when I got sucked into the cult and quit cuz the end was soon (mid 80's).

    I discovered you never mention such things to an elder, it is immediately turned toward you as being disgruntled, something you did on your own ... just like those who read too much into the 1975 hype, the Organization has no culpability.

  • JeffT

    In 1973 I passed up a chance to go to grad school when I became a JW. Nine years later I decided I needed more education and went back to school, a decision I have not regretted for one second. I took some heat for doing that. In the spring of 1988 I sat through a talk at a CA about the evils of higher ed. By that time my two oldest children were approaching high school and I decided I was done listening to that crap. We DA'd a year later.

    Does this JW you were talking to realize that he's advocating rebellion against "God's Organization." Because that is your choice, do what they tell you to do or get kicked to the curb.

  • blondie

    Another cases of how the WTS sets it up so they can speak out of both sides of their mouth.

  • coffee_black

    I went to College as a JW. I left college to marry a jw... (yeah, I was an idiot) He demanded that I admit that I committed a sin by going. I refused. It remained a sore spot. He resented my education...and even more my IQ. I divorced him in 1990, and left the borg in the early 90s. He then went to college himself, and when our son graduated from HS, he was insistant that he go to college as well. I reminded him of the wt stance on education ....and he denied that it was ever "discouraged". I reminded him of the arguement we had had so many years ago. He went dead silent. Had no answer. It was interesting to watch the expression on his face....trying to straighten that one out in his head. it seems that new light just overwrites old light...and they have no memory of the old light.

    My son did go to college. No help from jw dad. My son and I footed the bill.


  • ABibleStudent

    Hi ekruks, What is stopping you from getting a better education/training now? The WTBTS and JWs were wrong so why continue to listen to them or let them influence your life?

    Decide whether you want to continue to be a victum or do something positive with your life! Decide what you like and have an aptitude doing, make a plan that has a reasonable chance of success, and then execute your plan. After you succeed then you can tell JWs how happy you are that you decided to get a better education/training and let them envy you!

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • ekruks

    Thanks for your supportive comments - people I speak to seem so blind; it's frightening in a way, because I used to be convinced.

    Hi ABibleStudent - I'm going to get a degree, even if it's a bit late in life, and not the best university in the world - it's difficult though financially, and having to take time to complete college is frustrating as I realise I'm getting older (UK has different names for schools than the US - from age 17-18 some teenagers go to college, which is like High School). I managed to escape the nightmare of running a cleaning business to get an office job, and my new colleagues are encouraging me to get a degree.

    In the UK, the government offers a loan system for students. Basically, they will pay for undergrad studies (Bacherlor degree), and you in effect pay higher tax, as they take a percentage of whatever you earn after university. It's not high risk, because you don't get debt collectors at the door, or credit issues, because it comes out your earnings before you get them. However, JWs feel this is wrong because it's debt. However, many have mortgages which are far more risky. I know the older generation is against people living off credit cards, but not all debt is bad, especially when it financially betters you!

    The other thing is that university - supposedly it's highly immoral. From my limited experience of college, before I was dragged out, I haven't found the workplace to be much different. Did anyone go to university and find it to be one orgie after another, where beer and drugs were everywhere? When JWs refer to the world, and it's problems, they will mention people like drug dealers, and characters I live among in this "lovely" neighbourhood - they don't realise many try to better themselves.

    I think it has a lot to do with mind-control. The less education we have, the more ignorant we are, so easy to influence - similar to how some husbands resent wives being education. It also clashes with pioneering, though education could provide a better job to pioneer, except it opens more doors, more opportunities and pioneering becomes less appealing.

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