need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems (page 2)

NVR2L8

Cold Steel....I tried what you are suggesting for a long while because I didn't want to displease anyone especially my wife and family. When you know the truth about the 'truth' meetings, assemblies and the ministry become torture...I couldn't look at myself in a mirror without thinking what I fraud I was. I became depressed and came to the point where I wished I was dead. When I finally told my wife I was done with the meetings she cried and threatened to leave me but after a couple of days things slowly returned to normal. I'm convinced she notices how much happier I am and that I still love her regardless of how I feel about the JWs...so Unstoppable, hang in there and give it time...show her how much you care for her by respecting her opinions if you want her to eventually respect yours...

unstopableravens

thanks data: we are in similar situation. she says she is waiting on jehovah and is patient. i asked her does she believe jesus appoints the fds during or after the trib. she knows the bible says after but the new light says during. she does not want to face the fact that jehovah already straightened it out when it was writen the first time in scriputre.

unstopableravens

nvr: thats it ,the bible says let each one of us speak truth to his neighbor,so how can i tell people something that is a lie?, i have no gone in service (as a jw) in over a year maybe two. i talk real bible truths with ppl alot(no feild service slip) lol.

Indian Larry

Unstopable - I feel your pain. I am in exactly the same situation. My wife and daughter just got back from a weekend long circut assembly. I would say throw her a bone and go to the hall once in a while (maybe once every 2 -3 months) That works for me. I know it SUCKS when they start crying like that, but they really can not help it. It is mind control plain and simple.

If it is any consolation a few years ago I cornered one of my best friends when he was "fading". Literally bible in hand I tried my best to get him back in the org. He did not argue with me but he did not back down either. Time went by (several years) I finally was able to process some of the things I learned. Once I got to a certain point where I was not afraid to look at sites like this then the fade started in earnest.

Love her. Try to understand the psycology of what she is going through. Make sure she understands that you are not abandoning God just the men who claim to represent him.

Good luck.

happytobefree

Unstopableraven

When she ask you if you were going to make up the assembly. Why couldn't you have just said NO!! I don't plan on making them up. And if she ask why...just say i do not want to attend the assembly.

You are doing exactly what your wife is doing...trying to be right. Show her some respect...she is not ready to hear all of that anti Jehovah stuff.

Put yourself in her shoes...what if she found out ttatt first...would you want to hear all of that.

I really understand why she is crying. It was hard for me finding out ttatt and I was married to an unbeliever. But I can't even imagine if my elder husband was talking like you. You really need to take it slow...she keep telling you this. But you keep pushing. You are still in JW think...it's not your right to tell everyone your beliefs. Even if she press, just avoid the subject. Right now she just need to feel loved and secure. No JW arrogance. No one has the absolute Truth...believe me and you...you will continue to grow...and you do not know where you will end up.

OnTheWayOut

Mixing metaphors, the cat is out of the bag, so let sleeping dogs lie and be glad you did this like ripping off a bandage all at once.

What I mean is, you can't really take it back now that you shared your honest feelings. Let her stew over that but agree to say little or nothing negative if she agrees to say little or nothing about your differences on religion. That will buy some time for you all to sort out what to do next. But you got that really hard step out of the way- saying what you felt. It's done.

As said, reassure her of your love. Tell her that hasn't changed. Say things like, "I love you and respect your right to worship as you feel you need to." That's a two-way street, but you can let her figure that out.

unstopableravens

thanks ppls: i truly understand how she feels,happy to be free ,you asked if she showed me because shes asked me,if that was the case i would like to think i would have honestly acted like i did when i seen ttatt . i do not like being lied to,she needs to see that see deserves to have truth. i dont want my son to be lied to as well,aww i just wish we could get pass this before hes to much older!

Sauerkraut

Unstoppableravens: sorry to hear about your troubles. Though I'm not married I'm going through somewhat similar things with a close family member. It hurts, as deep as can be. Hang in there! Same for you DATA-DOG and all others!

Unstoppableravens, you've made clear where you stand, is it possible to avoid further confrontation for a while? Until your wife has had some time to deal with the new situation? Sometimes it's better to not defend oneself and just let matters be for the sake of peace. She does deserve the truth, but right now she needs to get used to the changes in your relationship.

unstopableravens

kraut: you are correct i use to always talk to her evrey step of the way,but as of late besides the new light i have been chill, but she asked me a question and i answered honsetly, it sucks man ,i know shes going to look like a victim at the hall, and think jehovahs org is so loving.

Sauerkraut

Bro, in these situations we end up having to try to keep our own peace of mind. Don't worry about how she will be viewed at the hall, it's nothing that you have control over, don't waste your energy. If you can don't even answer questions, at least for the time being. You can tell your wife that you don't want to get into discussions but that you want to keep the peace.

From experience I can say that sometimes we fit the Apostate profile. We are eager to defend the real truth, that eagerness can easily be viewed as bitterness by Witnesses because they look at it as an attack on them and their religion. If I had to start over, I'd be far more careful and gentle with defending my standpoint. Too late for me.

need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems

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