your right! as you can tell i cant sleep im up at 400am. i feel as long as shes a jw our family will not be tight. its like she will have annomosity at me, i feel her shooting daggers at me sometimes.
need to talk/vent. wifey wt problems
by unstopableravens 68 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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cofty
That's rough unstopableravens. She is in a panic at the thought of you getting squished at armageddon. The idea that you might actually be right hasn't occurred to her yet.
Be patient.
Best wishes.
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unstopableravens
thanks cofty, she just left for work she seems very upset, i know every meeting she goes to she will be sad, i just dont ubderstand why is not upset about being lied to. she will justify them lying to her.
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Hermano
From personal experience, you're going about this the wrong way. Women NEED safety in the relationship, and in her mind you just took it all away. You need to reassure her of your love and that nothing is going to change between you. Remember, cults use phobias. She might be afraid that the reason why you left is because you're having an affair or looking for another woman, or so influenced by Satan that you're just ready to turn into a spiritual monster. Also, DON'T be the angry, bitter, critical, hating apostate they want you to be. I know those feelings might be there, but don't share that with your wife. Share that with a therapist. Share it on this website. But your wife doesn't need to hear that. Not right now. Right now, she needs some of the old you back in her life and pronto.
You might want to call her a work and tell her you love her. You might want to pick up some flowers for her after work. And for God's sake, slow down that apostate zeal.
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unstopableravens
hermano:im sorry you have experiance and i agree females need to feel safe, i tell her i love her. in the past when she has said things like i hate you... i told her thats okay i still love. but the truth is things have changed but my love has not. she knows all the things i believe in we have talked in detail the past three years about being born again ,jesus, heaven ,jesus return, etc... she know where i stand and she has told me she can not refute any of those things but she will stick with the org!
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Hermano
she has told me she can not refute any of those things but she will stick with the org!
Why not put the religion issue on hold for some time? Focus instead on the relationship. Focus on listening to each other and accepting each other without trying to change each other. People need the space to be wrong before they can be right. Focus on what brings you together, and what you have in common. Nurture that. What does she like to do? Who really is she? Nurture that.
As for the assambly, can you compromise? I drive my wife to the assambly, relax at a cafe while it's in session, then meet her for lunch. She's happy cause she's not alone the entire day. I'm happy cause I dont have to hear all the nonsense and I'm making her happy.
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notjustyet
Steve Hassan says to make sure that you assure her of your love for her continually.
If she says " I hate you!!" tell her " i have enough love for the both of us"
If she shoots daggers at you, act like you are dodging them. lol
If confronted and cannot get out of a little JW conversation you might want to share the point that you have not left the Org, the Org has left you. It is the one that "changed the contract" not you. They are the ones that have taken the liberty to change doctrine and demanded that you change your thinking on it in an instant, take it or leave it. In any other situation, these actions would give the other party to a contract the option to cancel that contract.
I would not want to have to make those comments, but if cornered and forced to give a reason why you are thinking this way, that would be my lead in.
NJY
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unstopableravens
hermano: im glad your able to do that with ur wife,and i will do what i can to give her space and love her etc... but i cant go to the hall ,i would take her if she needed a ride. maybe ur wifes personality is different i dont know.
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unstopableravens
notjustyet, im dodging like crazey, im like a little ninga chris farley style,i like you post good advice im keep that in the back of my mind.
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punkofnice
Sorry for you Ravens. It's a blighter isn't it. When I left the WBT$ my wife gradually went cold on me until she left.
I hope it doesn't go that way for you. Give her time.