When You Were Sitting During The Meetings What Were You Really Thinkng About?

by minimus 54 Replies latest jw friends

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  undercover

  I obviously wasn't thinking about what they were actually teaching at the meetings or I would seen through it much sooner. Once I started to wake up mentally, I actually paid more attention at the meetings to actually test out what was being taught. Didn't take long to figure it was all BS afer that.

  But back before I realized I was in a cult, I'd think about anything that would pass the time. Sex, and hot 'sisters' of course, but when I was a kid/teenager, in between the sex fantasies, I'd create new worlds in my head. I'd create scenerios, places and characters that went through fantastic adventures. Their adventures never ended. I could put em on hold until the next meeting where I'd pick up the storyline and imagine new adventures for them.

  To show how bored I must have been, I remember looking at the number of paragraphs at the WT study and figuring out the halfway point, the one quarter point, the three quarter point. I'd announce to myself, "Yah! Half way!" or "Three quarters!" I even did that during the songs. I'd count the stanzas/verses and announce to myself from halfway down. Halfway, three quarter, 7/8s, 6 more words...
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  Scott77

  I just wanted to go home. The sooner the meeting ended, the better I felt. I really hated going into field services before and after meetings. It was very humiliating for me.

  Scott77
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  Phizzy

  Depending on what time you are talking about, it was quite often that I was thinking about the sister that I had the raging hots for.

  But that all finished weeks ago.
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  minimus

  Hill Street Blues was a program I never wanted to miss, either or NYPD Blue.
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  Apognophos

  Never thought about sex or the sisters, as I was doing my best to restrain my libido like a good little Christian. Mostly imagined stuff that had nothing to do with the meetings. Like MrFreeze, I would frequently imagine the Hall was being assaulted by armed soldiers and what kind of violence I would do to them in order to take back the Hall (and I never even saw movies like Die Hard!). Sometimes my OCD would flare up and I would stare at the back of the friends' heads and imagine giving them a quick buzzcut to tidy up all that messy "long" hair. Crew cuts for everybody!