by minimus 54 Replies latest jw friends
Seriously!!!!!
I had it all figured out. I had cut out pictures from Playboy and Penthouse magazines that my neighborhood friends and I found in someone's trash can on trash day. The pictures were pasted into certain pages of my bible, and I used to view this stuff, in the hall, when I was sure that no one was looking.
I'd be thinking about golf and how I would try and par eavh hole.
Etna
I was always trying to fight sleep. No matter how much I rested before the KH...I always fell asleep.
At the end I would look around and wonder how can I endure this the rest of my life.
And there was this one sister who was always smiling...I would look at her and wonder what is she smiling about. I still wonder if she was on some good medication. She was a beautiful sister and so was her husband and they were always so happy. I bet they were high.
Theo Sed
I have OCD. I actually counted anything and everything. No lie. Sadly, I remembered a lot of it.
Like, how many red shirts comparing middle, left, and right aisle? *2 weeks later* Dang! That sister wore the same red shirt 3 Sundays in a row!!!
Also,
I would make video game strategies in my head.
If each aisle got into a fight, which would win (based on who sat in each aisle)?
If I went to prison during GT, who should I make sure I am not seen with so we won't be placed together?
How can that double-living sister/brother give such good comments?
If this bro and this sis had babies, what would they look like?
*Once I got older*
Why is everyone so depressed looking? I am going to give that bro/sis a hug after the meeting...
CO visit coming up? Watch Bro. Secretary ask my time for 3 months ago...
Here's the worst:
*Speaker: Now lets invite-*
Me (thinking): Please don't say my name! I checked the board, didn't I? Did I check next weeks by mistake? Am I sure? I did get a talk slip, could time have passed so fast? Well, I'm glad I skimmed the material. Worst case scenario, when I bomb, I'll use the excuse I studied to participate, not to give the talk.
*Speaker: ...MC RubberMallet to the stage for this 20 minute service meeting part!*
Me: Damn! Ight, man up. The friends are just as confused as you are. Is my fly open? Do I have a doo doo stain showing in the back of my pants? Did it get through my jacket too? Remember, long pauses. They kill time. And add effect or whatever. Don't trip going up the stairs! Jehovah, work with me here! I promise to be prepared next time if you help me! Amen. Game time!
On Sunday's I usually check out my Fantasy football stats on my phone every 15 mins (placing phone in lap behind bible). Start budgeting money in my head and then think about things I want/need to buy for the month.
Sometimes I tried to follow along. MOST of the time I was thinking about my worldly girlfriend. Then later on I would think about MRS. TOTH before she became my wife.
usually i picture a fight breaking out between 2 or more dubs right in the middle of meeting. u know, WWE style, full nelsons, hitting with folding chairs, ect. lots of fun.
We would always eat out every Sunday after the meeting, so I would think of where we should eat and what I would order.
I also would look at what the other sisters were wearing and wondered how in the world most of them could afford to dress so nicely.
Makeovers, who needed one the most, who needed to lose weight and how much, etc
Great thread BTTT
Mc, pretty funny stuff,
