holding off on my baptism???

by madcow78596 50 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  perfect1

  Though you say you will never force your children- you dont know what kind of person you will be in five years if you join this cult.

  Please think about this:

  You have been made to feel unworthy to join this group. They gave you two reasons. Those reasons are meant to change your behavior.

  Right now you have enough sense to question the tactics used by the elders, but as time passes you may find the emotional discomfort their exclusion produces in you to be too much. You will justify giving in to their demands- thinking, I dont want little Jimmy to die at Armageddon! This is life and death!

  Or, maybe my body in these dresses is stumbling the brothers. I will only wear ankle length skirts and blousy, button up tops.

  Slowly, you will begin to compromise on things you dont agree with so you can feel comfortable with the choice youve made to join this religion.

  Because you already have some issues in your past, things you are not proud of, you doubt your own judgement and want to put your faith in a higher authority. So you stop thinking for yourself and put faith in the brothers to correct your behavior, even if it goes against you own intelligence which you begin to think of as sinful.

  This little incident is just the beginning of the manipulative, guilt inducing, self doubting path you are on. That twinge you felt when they counseled you on your clothing, that is meant to get under your skin. Once they see you have changed, based on their shaming tactics of control, they know they have you.

  If I were you I would drop the religious point of view and ask your son what he thinks. Honestly, consider his reasons for not wanting to be a part of the JWs. Children are often more perceptive than given credit for. Maybe he has seen changes in your personality he is not comfortable with.

  I admire your courage to admit your discomfort with the situation- but you have to go deeper to see what is really happening to you.

  With all respect to you, you are EXACTLY the demographic this group targets and preys upon. They see you as weak.
• 

  perfect1

  And another thing:

  Little Jimmy will not be allowed to attend school dances, date, celebrate any holidays, play sports, participate in after school activities, have opposite gender friends. Your congregation with educated people is highly unusual. Research the organizations stand on that here on in their own literature. Its very clear.
• 

  144001

  In my opinion, raising a child in the JW cult is child abuse. No child should have to experience the unhappy childhood that involvement iwith the Jehovah's Witnesses will most definitely cause.
• 

  WTWizard

  I suggest canceling your dedication, right now while you still can. This is worse than "selling" your soul--YOU ARE GIVING IT AWAY! And what are you getting in return? Damnation. You are being taught lies. And, the part that is visible is actually the easiest part to break away from--once you are baptized, you will need to obey stupid rules (whatever they may be) or be cut off from your family. Worse, your soul will never again be yours to dedicate to anyone else should you see that Jehovah is welshing on his end of the deal and another Savior becomes apparent to you. You will be going through a 9-step affirmation program (some of the steps happen behind your back, so you can't back out of them). Then, your dedication to Jehovah becomes PERMANENT. It survives death (they even say so), so when you are reincarnated, you remain dedicated and cannot break out.

  Now, suppose they talk you into dedicating your soul to Jehovah anyways. If you are going to do it, at least make SURE you begin the process while the moon is in void of course! This will at least ruin the process of sealing your damnation, giving you an out later should you later realize Jehovah is the enemy and Satan your Savior. You will still be held accountable for the congregation rules. You will still be harassed to pious-sneer. You will still have your family busted up if you later decide to leave. And for this reason, I still do not recommend it. But, at least by starting the process while the moon is in void of course, you disrupt the process of bringing the dedication all the way to the astral. I recommend the site www.astroprofile.com to check for void of course moon, and do not begin the prayer even a second before it actually reaches that time network time (if your watch is even a minute fast, beginning your dedication even a couple of seconds early will make the difference between a breakable dedication and one that will never break).

  Of course, the wisest course would be to simply walk out right now. Renounce your unbaptized publisher status "until further notice", under the pretense of gathering more information--and then leave them hanging. Then simply refrain from attending another boasting session and further field circus. I guarantee you that, if you stay in, the "joy" will disappear. Once you are properly dedicated, whatever illusion of joy disappears forever, and you are stuck with it. Even if you later disassociate, you only disassociate from the organization and the religion, while your dedication to Jehovah remains forever (unless you start while the moon is void of course, rendering it ineffective). Get out now, while you still can.
• 

  oldlightnewshite

  My 1 piece of advice is:

  Browse this site every day for 10 minutes, for around 3 months.

  If you still feel you have any doubts about committing to the JWs after that, listen to what your gut tells you.

  You will not be able to discuss candidly any nagging doubts with fellow witnesses once you become baptized.
• 

  Kojack57

  Madcow: You are a grown person who has reasoning power. My advise to you is not to take the plunge. I agree with ( oodad) I myself was an elder and I got baptized at the age of 16. You are going to undergo a lot of heartache in the BORG. If you do the deed, and even when you realize you have made a terrible mistake, we will be here for you to help you pick up the pieces.

  We won't SHUN YOU LIKE THE J.W's ARE GOING TO DO TO YOU.

  kojack
• 

  jamiebowers

  Welcome to JWN! Just in case you're not aware, the vast majority of people have a colorful past. Please don't allow yours to guilt you into pledging your allegience to a high control group! Your open mindedness with your kids will NOT fly with the Watchtower. Take some time to research the organization, and analyze what it is about your colorful past that urged you to study with the jws in the first place.

  Your reservations about being baptized are correct. It's very hypocritical for your study conductor's husband to object to you wearing the very same clothes that his wife and daughter wore. Maybe he's just a dirty minded fool who looks at you through a different lense than he sees them.
• 

  jwfacts

  Welcome. The elders have given you a chance to make an informed decision. Do not rush this opportunity.

  Your son sounds like a strong minded boy, which is impressive. I recommend you watch the following youtube clip to understand what it is like to grow up a JW and what you are subjecting him to.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlgzriYibb0

  Although you say you are not forcing things on him, you really are, since you are making him preach and attend meetings. Over time you will force many of the crazy rules on him, like refusing to let him have birthday parties. Then eventually, if he does not join the religion, you will drift apart because you will have to judge him as part of the world.
• 

  irondork

  madcow: I'm a single working mother of 2 with what i will call a very "colored" past. But over the course of this last year and a half I have dramatically turned my life around and am very pleased to be doing Jehovah's will.

  Sounds like you put a lot of effort into cleaning up your life. I did something similar, coming out of almost two decades of addiction and sluttery. The change in my life astonished even me. I couldn't believe I had become such a clean, moral, responsible person.

  Now, the Witnesses would have you believe your progress was the direct result of having alligned yourself with their organization, their teachings, their association. What REALLY happened, though, is that you turned your attention to God and he blessed your efforts in a very large way by helping you put your "colored" past in the past.

  He further blessed you by preventing you from making a HUGE mistake. Baptism in the JW organization does not represent a dedication to God, like they would have you believe. Remember all those questions you had to answer about Watchtower teachings, organizational structure, faithful and discreet this, governing body that? It was all in preperation for you to take this vow:

  Do you understand that your dedication and baptism identify you as one of Jehovah's Witnesses in association with God's spirit-directed organization?

  In appreciation for all your hard work in stripping off the old personality and putting on the new, God stood in the way of the organization that would prevent you from being baptised in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit. (Mathew 7:26)
• 

  QC

  @madcow78596

  While they are wooing you, that is the best it will ever get. It is downhill from there. Be smart; be a cafeteria JW for a while. Accept the positives for your family. Some of doctrinal fundamentals have value. But it’s mostly window dressing. Getting control of your mind is what their after. They want you to be a female that is a frighteningly submissive Stepford Wife. Scary!

  Keep in mind, right now that religious structure is flux. Meaning, they have credibility issues touting themselves as “The True Religion.” They are “tap dancing’ their deceptive doctrines and policies history, creating a plausible spin the gullible hangers-on will accept, and most will.

  Use this forum as a filter to sort out stuff. We’ll help you anytime.

  Check out my website, http://www.laissezcom.com/. It is therapy to help me get past JWs.

  QC