Not Sure What I Believe In Anymore

by nuthouse escapee 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    DOC- My heart goes out to you. I understand the turmoil in no longer having answers to anything. That is why I was hesitant to suggest to Leslie what she should or shouldn't do.

    I've been posting for 3 months. Everyday, someone suggests expanding our points of view by reading and researching what is verifiable; factual, can be proven and comparing that to what we have been taught- willingly or unwillingly- to believe. That takes time and a lot of work.

    Now that you know TTATT, aren't you at all curious as to start on a new journey to uncover some truth? Whether or not you find that you reclaim your faith in God or in a higher power, or whether you come to the conclusion that the universe created itself. Can you try to enjoy the discovery in what you uncover for yourself?

    I am also at a cross roads, but I don't carry the baggage, the heavy burden that you are carrying because of family, friends or social connections. That I can imagine adds more pain to your conflict. Doc, like you, contrary to popular belief, I am neither bi-polar, mentally ill, or suffer from depression. But, I understand the emotional rollercoaster that you have been riding, as I am riding it too.

    My having awakened was both horrifying and "happifying". Now, at least, even though I am "over" the proverbial "hill", it's still not too late for life. There are things lost and also things gained. Maybe I'm still in a delusion; thinking everything will be OK. But , I do.

    ( I am sending you a PM-shortly)

  • konceptual99
    konceptual99

    With you 100% on this on Nuthouse.

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    So Leslie, if the thread doesn't directly your question, NO, you are not alone. In fact, that need to address the big question is common to all humans, and likely that homo sapiens created Gods in their image as an answer to alleviate the discomfort. Now, is it the REAL answer, the TRUTH? Nope, it's almost guaranteed that it's NOT, but the patch-job has worked for hundreds of thousands of years for many....

    NC said:

    The athiests will tell you needing or creating a god is being weak-minded.

    OH! RVW None of the atheists on the board have said any such thing, and neither will I.

    Rip is probably referring to where I recently compared the justifications some used to defend their belief in God (eg "it makes me happy", or "it's easier to cope with challenges in life") to those who use addictive substances: same-same. Now, does it mean that these people are "weak-minded"? No, not necessarily, but it certainly doesn't imply the OPPOSITE, either, since they're relying on something that's exernal to themselves if only as a temporarily crutch. Of course, wheelchairs have utility, but they also allow muscles to atrophy if over-used. Same with religion if it's over-done, where what's actually needed is some mental exercise, even a spiritual form of "physical therapy" (searching and taking in, not answering and dispensing what JWs THINK they know).

    NC, I dunno if you read any of cultural materialist Marvin Harris' books in your cultural anthropology class, but he has a few books that are easy reading, and worth a read: "Cannibals and Kings" was thought-provoking, as was "Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches: The Riddles of Culture". (it seems to be similar to later book he wrote called "Good to Eat: Riddles of Food and Culture" (1998 - originally titled The Sacred Cow and the Abominable Pig). He wrote others I haven't read that look interesting, eg:

    His Our Kind: Who We Are, Where We Came From, Where We Are Going (1990) surveys the broad sweep of human physical and cultural evolution, offering provocative explanations of such subjects as human gender and sexuality and the origins of inequality.

  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    I am who I am: Good questions. Not really sure what I feel at those moments, except that I think it's a combination of emotions and thoughts. Frustration, insecurity, fear...My solution is to keep looking and try to find out information from all points of view.

    Brain Cleaned: The god of the O.T. does not make me feel warm & fuzzy. This is why I feel that the people alive at the time of the writing created a god in their own image, not the other way around. If there is a god, then I don't think the Biblical portrayal is accurate.

    DoC: You pretty much summed up my feelings exactly. Please don't give up in your search for answers. It is never too late until we've breathed our last breath. It has been encouraging coming on the forum and seeing how many of us are into and past middle age but still have the power to think for ourselves and are using that power. We were all victims of a cult. I finally stopped beating myself up over having allowed myself to be so totally naive about the religion and the world around us. It does suck! They took so much of my life but I won't allow them to take any more of it. The turmoil is real, I feel it too and from the numerous responses so far, we are not alone. The only solution I can see is to keep on researching. (((DoC)))

    Cobalt Cupcake: thankyou

    THANKS TO ALL SO FAR. TO THOSE I HAVEN'T REPLIED TO YET, I WILL GET TO YOU, I PROMISE. IT HAS BEEN VERY HELPFUL & REASSURING TO KNOW SO MANY OF US ARE IN THIS MENTAL STRUGGLE TOGETHER.Leslie

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    New Chapter: Didn't mean to offend our Atheist friends. I also shared RIP's view. The response from the atheists have been an eye-opener and not at all what the WT. programmed us to think. Please accept my sincere apology.

    For the record, I was not really upset or irritated. It actually made me smile, because I heard a funny accusation against the atheists on the board once, and when I came to check I found that they were all saying similar things. Research, read, think. Not at all how it was portrayed. I think what happens is that when we are debating with full believers, the snark comes out on both sides. Atheists tend to be very direct with it, and believers tend to couch it in Christian language, but it is definitely there. Those can be scary debates for someone questioning their worldview, but they can be helpful too if you can step around some of the emotion.

    It's an interesting dynamic. This is only my opinion, but from what I've seen, for someone who is unsure, we don't tend to speak in terms of truth and such, but more in terms of use your critical thinking skills so that any conclusions you draw will be fed by as much information as possible. I haven't seen any of us get on here and cheerlead for you to become an atheist. We totally realize that this is just silly. We just want to support your inquiry and push you to do it with courage and strength, and really, give you permission to question everything.

    If you are interested, I run a forum for secular EX JW's. The members are not all atheists (I tend to think that nearly half are not) but many are looking for answers and want good sources without the personal revelation etc that tends to come from other. If you are interested, give us a try. We'll try to direct you to all kinds of information, and some interesting subjects are brought up.

    exjwsecularists.madmooseforum.com

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    Who says you have to believe anything?

    You can know what you know, and be okay about what you don't know.

  • MC RubberMallet
    MC RubberMallet

    nuthouse escapee - I am with you 100 percent. I just keep learning... But I try not to become obsessed. We still have to live life and enjoy whatever we can.

  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    Scotoma: I have the same problem re: the Bible being from God. If the message is so important for our survival, then why is it so confusing and open to so many interpretations.

    Nomad Soul: Now that my life doesn't revolve around the WT. I have taken time to do other more productive things. I have several hobbies that I have time to enjoy.

    Rip: thx

    Konceptual 99:

    King Solomon: Just knowing I'm not alone in belief limbo has been very reassuring. I wasn't looking for a replacement belief system but more or less a starting point for research. There are so many books out there that it helps to have the list honed down, and an idea where to begin.

    Kurtbethel: That would just be too easy. I'm curious by nature and have a desire to try and know some of it. I only have so many years left and I can't bear the thought of just going through the motions of living. I may never find the answer but I'm sure I will learn many things along the way.

  • flipper
    flipper

    NUTHOUSESCAPEE- Leslie, believe in yourself my friend. You are a unique beautiful person inside and out and are a valuable member of human society ! I feel having that attitude is what has helped me to restore my faith in myself after being out 9 years from the Witness organization. The WT society devalued us individually which was ethically and morally wrong for them to do. So believe in yourself - you are a small " G " god unto yourself. Enjoy life, develop new hobbies, live each day like a brand new one that says " explore me " ! Hang in there friend, you have friends here , it's part of the growing and healing of exiting the JW's

  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    MC Rubber Mallet: So true. Learning is part of living, just not the only part. To trade one all-consuming lifestyle (JW) for another would indeed be a waste of life.

    MUST DO SOME WORK NOW, BUT WILL REPLY TO NEW POSTS TOMORROW. THX AGAIN -LESLIE-

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