I've been shunned from my sister's wedding

by Quotes 55 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Sunspot

  Dear Quotes,

  I didn't realize how deeply affected I would be as I continued to read this thread. Almost two years ago to the DAY my heart was stomped on with a similar situation. I thought I was pretty well over it, but by the tears running down my face and the huge lump in my throat..........(sigh)

  Maybe some of you from h2o and ARJW will remember what I posted the day I got the "news";

  Message 1 in thread
  From: Dizzbee ( [email protected])
  Subject: June Wedding
  Newsgroups: alt.religion.jehovahs-witn
  View this article only
  Date: 2000/03/11

  >>Well folks,
  Chalk up another warm fuzzy for the
  "Religion-That-Does-Not-Shun-Those-That-Leave"....(according to their OWN
  PubIic-Relations Website) I heard from one of my sons today (non-JW) that my JW
  regular Pioneer Daughter is getting married in June.....but she just sorta, kinda forgot to mention it to me...her Mom.
  So much for Good News.

  I guess since she doesn't want me to know, that I won't be invited,
  either....on the brighter side...someone else will be footing the bill........

  Yup! My punishment and non-inclusion in this "minor event" in her life, REALLY draws me closer to the heartfelt warmth of the Watchtower Society, and demonstrates to me the error of my ways in leaving this loving Organization.

  This, too, shall pass.............<<

  Well, I swallowed my hurt and my pride, and went out and picked out a beautiful pair of crystal lovebirds (they WERE really stunning, and I KNEW she'd love them!) and chose an "appropriate" card (no good luck or anything) and shipped them off to FL.

  Weeks went by and I'd figured the package must have been left in her condo, and someone ELSE was enjoying them, cuz she was ALWAYS a stickler for sending "thank-you" notes out quickly. Finally she called very early one morning in August, starting the conversation out with "I can't talk long I'm meeting for service in ten minutes" but thank you for "the gift" we enjoyed "it" (never even acknowledging WHAT I sent)

  I could TELL that this was a "duty" call, her tone said it all, but I summoned up the courage to nicely ask her WHY we weren't invited to her wedding. Her answer? Because she thought we wouldn't be able to make it! I said the when so-and-so got married in VA, we were invited, and when so-and-so's daughter got married in FL a few years ago, THEY invited us down for it....they probably knew we wouldn't be able to get down there, either, but they were THINKING of us and were letting us know that they wanted us to share in their joy. It's a matter of old-fashioned courtesy.

  Well, didn't she have to rush to meet with the group, g'bye.

  The next month was our anniversary, we got a card......no sentiments.

  Last year, we didn't even rate a card.

  I sent them an anniversary card last June, and I'll send one THIS June. Hubby says not to bother, but I want to be able to honestly say that I never treated her vindictively, despite the fact that I'm not allowed on the furniture.

  As far as those crystal birds go, providing she KEPT them, I hope when she is dusting them, or walks by them, or if someone visits and comments on them-----it will poke at her senses and cause her to think bout things. She KNOWS me, and she also knew that this treatment would cut me to pieces.

  I discovered months later that my son (never baptized----stopped going to meetings in 1980) was the Best Man, and my grandson (who's the son of another daughter who stopped going to meetings in 1987) was the Ring Bearer! Go figure. Wonder WHAT they told the well-wishers about my (and hubby's) absence? Maybe that "we couldn't MAKE IT????

  BTW........she married an Elder. And both their halos were polished nicely for the occasion.

  So...Quotes--give it a lot of thought, don't worry too much about how OTHERS will feel if you go or don't go. How will it affect YOU and your WIFE? It will place HER in an awkward position too. I LIKE Scully's (I think it was) idea of having your wife write that letter, whether you decide to go or not.......your sister (with WTS help) drew the line in the sand....

  [[[BIG HUGS to Quotes & Wife]]]

  Annie

  Shredded families and ruined lives;
  The WBTS has MUCH to answer for......

  Hugs,

  Sunspot
• 

  chezza

  Hi quotes,
  I know exactly howw you feel, when i was a dub my sister who drifted away from the truth ended up living with a guy and was going to get married, we were invited of course and up to that point it was classed a concience matter if we went, but then the elders decided to go one step further and have her disfellowshipped and TOLD me that i couldnt go to the wedding now, as my husband was an elder it wasnt like i could argue the point,i missed the wedding and feel awful that i didnt go, when i saw the photos i just cried, so now i am d/f and i can talk to her but it still doesnt make up for not being there.
• 

  Elsewhere

  My sister did the same thing to me. I showed up at the reception and was promptly asked, [ahem], told to leave by my dad... after I put my gift on the gift table of course.

  "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
  Believe in yourself, not mythology.
  <x ><
• 

  2SYN

  MavMan: Come on, respond to this. You publically denounced our dear Quote, so I think it's time you answered to his response. Otherwise we will know that you are just a troublemaker, here to interrupt our discussions with your silly doctrinal regurgitations.

  What have you got to lose?

  Oh wait, you've got absolutely everything to lose.

  Tough one, man.

  But then, to gain the world, you must lose EVERYTHING.

  Come one. Tell us why we shouldn't believe in all this Old Light, do! And tell us why, if we had said we disbelieved the Old Light when it was still New Light, the Society would have disfellowshipped us.

  Even if our life was at stake, over something like blood for instance. How do you honestly explain away ALL THE LIVES of people who have died because of WTBTS policies which were changed the next year? Once again, the Godly Channel gives us New Light! Don't worry about all those folks who kicked the Big Old Bucket because of our past teachings! AND if you question our New Light (which will soon be Old Light), then we'll ceremonially disfellowship you! After all, we are the Happiest People on Earth!

  Does that sound like the actions of God's Organization to you, MavMan?

  *KNOCK KNOCK, ANYBODY HOME YET?*

  The lights are on, but there's nobody home, I think is the case here.

  
  [SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice!
• 

  simplesally

  I hope you go. Its too bad you won't be invited to the reception. And believe me, you will cry at the wedding, BIG TIME.

  When I came into the truth, my sister did the opposite to me. I was to go to the Catholic wedding but had no seat at the assigned seating reception. I was not asked to be in the pictures. She didn't speak to me for a whole year. All because I became a witness.

  It really changed our whole relationship and not being in the pictures was really a slap in the face.
• 

  mommy1

  I just went to my brothers witness wedding. I have been disfellowshipped many years now. I wasn't invited to reception,but my brother really wanted me at the wedding and felt bad that I wasn't allowed at reception. I went in with my head held high and acted friendly and as if I were free to talk to whoever I wanted. Most didn't know me but the ones that did were very nervous to talk to me. I was loving it. My brother always knows I love him and will not judge him over his choice of religion.