I've been shunned from my sister's wedding

by Quotes 55 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    (((Quotes)))

    This sucks. I'm so sorry that you or your sister have been put in this position. I'm a bit like Joel. I've reacted differently to differently situations. But looking back, the ones I felt (and still feel) good about are the ones where I was the bigger person and acted with respect and love. The other emotionally charged situations where I rocked the boat proved to feel good for the moment, but I later regretted them. Always show love and respect. They'll never fault you for that!

    Good luck,
    Andi

  • Aunty
    Aunty

    Quotes,

    I just read your post and thought, this could be my nephew. His brother is getting married in April and invited him and his wife only to the ceremony. They had already bought a present and everything, but will be returning it. I told him they should crash the reception anyway - what are they going to do force him to leave? Actually, they'd probably get 4 big elders to drag him out kicking and screaming. What's funny is they did invite me - go figure they must have known I wouldn't go anyway.

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    Quotes,

    This is a tough one.
    I know you love your sister and I guess she loves you too.

    Do what your heart tells you to do, and that may not be easy. Think about how you may feel in the future about your actions on that day. Maybe that will help you.

    Its up to you!

    Sunny

    PS YoYo, why do you have to be such a numb nuts? All the words you have written to Quotes could have been said in a much kinder way.
    Then you wonder why you get slammed back by the posters here.

    YYM..Quote...."she knows what the Bible says"...No, she knows what the WTS teaches that the Bible says. Its their interpretation (their sad, sick, interpretation).

  • Beans
    Beans

    Quotes my dear friend of 30 years,as you know I feel your pain as if it were my own.As I recall when we were younger your sister and youngest brother seemed to have the closest bond with you in the family and strangley they are the ones who are still in.Yes this is so difficult and yet we know why it is because of our understanding of the Witnesses. You have received many great replies to the situation but I believe that this is a decision that you and your wife should make together!

    Beans

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Thank you all so much for your thoughts and kind words. I have not finalized my decision, but am leaning heavily toward going and trying to be "the bigger person" in the situation.

    Although, I may show her the link on their official web-site which says they don't shun former members... perhaps she (or my father, the more likely cause behind this) isn't aware of this "new light"
    ;-)

    I should also add that my younger brother, who is different from me only in that I was actually baptized and he was not, *IS* invited to the reception. Again, the logic seems to be "if you were never in our religion, you are OK, but if you were once a member, you can never go back to your previous "we won't shun you" status".

    And a special message for YoYo: (at the risk of hi-jacking my own thread)

    You truly are a remarkable person. You don't know me, and you call me "apostate". For the record I have never "tried to lead people away from GOD" which is, I beleive, what the bible means when it says "apostate".

    Of course, you will think that because I disassociated myself, then I *MUST* be an apostate, a vile liar and accusser of God's poeple.

    However, I do not lie. In fact, I work very hard to verify all facts. I look to the source, I examine the record, I consider all sides of an arguement. But I do not lie, and if I can ever be shown to be incorrect, in anything, I am not above correcting myself.

    Perhaps you have assumed that I am "apostate" because of the website I represent in my signature, http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/
    Let me explain, in case you have not had a chance to visit.

    It contains *ONLY* quotes from the publications of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. It *DOES NOT* contain any editorial. It *DOES NOT* draw any conclusions for the reader. It only contains quotes from them, in their own words, with full reference citations so the accuracy of the quote can be verified.

    IF YOU BELEIVE THIS IS APOSTATE, THEN YOU MUST BELEIVE THAT THE SOCIETY IS APOSTATE, SINCE THEY WROTE *ALL* THE INFORMATION FOUND AT http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/

    If you simply shrug it off and say, "Big deal, that was old light" then that is fine. YOU HAVE MADE YOUR OWN DECISION AND REACHED YOUR OWN CONCLUSION.

    OTOH, if you feel that some of the things that have been published by the Society are, how can I put this.... not indicitive of it being "God's channel of communication"... then that is fine too. Again, you have made your own decision.

    Oh, and BTW, the hard part of my life referred to in my letter stemmed directly from the fact that I discovered my (now ex-) wife had written love letters to a young, handsome, elder in a congregation we had moved away from. But that was OK, she repented (the get-out-of-jail-free-card), and she was putting in more hours in field service than me, so the elder's investigated me to see why she left me.

    So get off your pious high horse and stop the "You left, it was your fault, you knew the consequences, you shouldn't have turned against Jehovah, you wanted the world more than you wanted Jah" attitude.

    Your ignorance is showing.

    I want to be angry with you, YoYo, but I can't. You see, I was once exactly where you are, thinking exactly what you think, certain about my opinion and point of view. So I know where you are coming from.

    And, like a child that finds out that there is really no Santa Claus, I now know that know matter how much the younger kids believe in Santa, he is not for real. And once you know, you can never go back to beleiving in Santa.

    (I apologize for using what you would consider a "pagan" symbol in my analogy, but I think you will understand my point nonetheless.)

    ===========================
    For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
    http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    "My wife thinks we should just skip the whole thing."

    Smart lady:-)


    gb

  • Anne Marie
    Anne Marie

    Dear Quotes'

    I understand your emotional pain and frustration. Satan has just about everything covered in this sick game called, The Only True Religion. He has fooled so many people and fixed it so that those of us who DO manage to know The Truth are labled as enemies of Jehovah.

    Your sister seems to have had, at least, as much pain in her heart as you. Her love for you, her dear brother, and her desire to have you present on the most important day of her life, is clear and obvious.

    As your sister states in her letter, and as it is that this is what Jehovah's Witnesses are taught, she believes that the organization is the same as, or equivalent to, Jehovah himself, an obvious and sick lie.

    So it comes down to this, do you play the game that is so sick and hurt your sister? Do you put your righteous anger and hurt feelings before the feelings of your misled sister on her wedding day??

    Consider this: Jehovah is a God of LOVE. What do you think would be the LOVING thing to do?? Does it really matter to you SO MUCH what others think of you? Is what others may think more important to you than your sister's need of your presence?

    And wouldn't it be a wonderful gift of your heartfelt love for your sister to BE in her wedding pictures, smiling with all the love and heartfelt kindness you have for your precious sister!! Let her have the most beautiful wedding gift that you could give her!!

    My son got married. He wasn't even baptized yet; nor was his future wife. Yet he did not want me at his wedding. He did not even call to tell me, "Mom, I'm getting married but I have to tell you that I do not want you to come".

    When I found an appropriate 'Congradulations' card, he returned it, unopened, with, 'Please don't send me anymore mail', written on the envelope.

    I had a lot of anger and pain over that...especially since EVERYONE else was invited...everyone was at my son's wedding except me, his mother. I did not even recieve a birth announcement for either of my grandsons from him.

    But, as I said, Jehovah is a God of LOVE!! I finally prayed for Jehovah to take away my hurt and anger. I prayed for a more loving heart. I prayed that Jehovah would help me by making my heart be a source of love for my son and my daughter-in-law. I wanted only LOVE to flow from my heart to them!!

    Isn't it Satan's goal to destroy FAMILY?? Why should we help him to do this sick thing?? I beg you to consider: What is the LOVING thing to do??

    I pray for you and your wife...and I pray for your precious sister who is trying so hard to do what she thinks is right.

    May Jehovah & His angels smile upon you,
    Anne Marie

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Quotes.
    If it was me. One principle if I wasnt fit to go to the reception, I wouldnt go to the ceremony either.
    Just me.

    Anyway, an uplifting story for you.
    A friend of mine who was an ex dub, was getting married and his parents, when they found out I was going (Im disfellowshipped)told him that he would have to choose between them, his parents, being there, and me, his disfellowshipped mate.
    He told them not to bother coming!
    Hows that one! What a stand!
    good luck.

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    I'm trying to not post so much. for awhaile. But I needed to stop in here and say how sorry I am.
    My father would not give me away, can't imagine why. He would not come to my wedding. It was very hurtful and If I had any advice to give you to make your situation better, I would be first in line to help.
    All I know is when something is done, it's done.
    I have a "reasonable" relationship with my dad these days. I do still hurt a lot, but not often. But he is my dad and I love him.
    gosh i'm crying now bla. I hope things work out for you with your sister. Best wishes.
    plmkrzy

  • Anne Marie
    Anne Marie

    Please go to your sister's wedding!! Go for her...for your love of her and for her love of you.

    Don't let what "some people" may think or feel make any difference in your doing what is right. Your sister obviously loves you very much!!

    And take every opportunity to be in every picture you can and SMILE with all the love in your heart for her! If nothing else, you will have given her the most loving and precious wedding gift of all!!

    Do the right thing!!

    May Jehovah's blessings smile upon you!!
    Anne Marie

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit