I Could Really Use A Friend

by Hargitay 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hargitay
    Hargitay

    A homeless shelter is where I had my wallet and ID stolen my first week here. An acquaintence who is also trying to find me some work, is letting me use his address to get a new ID and DL. It takes a couple weeks to receive them.

    I have been resourceful as I can be. I shower daily at a bicycle shop in town that offers that kind of amenity for $1. CVS has 10 for $10 items which include tuna, salmon, nuts, trailmix, etc.. problem is that I ran out of dollars a couple days ago, and labor day weekend wasn't the best time to go soliciting for window cleaning jobs. It is very warm at night, so sleeping outdoors is not bad, and I have found two spots where I can sleep a little bit without drawing attention to myself or disturbing or alarming others. I bought a bicycle off of craigslist when i first arrived and it serves as transportation, and is adequate to carry my equipment around. There is a program called fishes and loaves that sends a truck to various parts of town and gives out free meals no questions asked, but I can't always make it on time since I am out hustling for jobs. the last two days have been murder, though.

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    Hargitay,

    Your children need you to save THEM. Don't run away from them. Stand up to your wife and the WTBTS publishing company. Your employer and landlord can not take action against you because of religious beliefs. THAT is a massive no-no in California, a profitable one in a lawsuit. Wash a gas station bathroom for $10. Buy 5 $1 bugers at Mc Donalds. Get on a greyhound bus, hitchhike, go to a truck-stop and hitch a ride, whatever back to California. Sign -up for unemployment, food stamps whatever..you have CALIFORNIA RESIDENCY. Ask for EMERGENCY AID at the county welfare office. Sell some stuff- tools, car whatever on craigs list and ebay and move back home. GET MAD. Do NOT GIVE UP, DO NOT GIVE IN, FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. the Watchtower apostates.

    We don't live in Texas. If we did, you could visit with us tonight, eat, and I would put you on a bus home to your kids in the AM.

    BRO; Hang in and hang on!!! Get mad....it is the best defense sometimes.

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    Yeah homeless shelter = bad news. As you said. Sleep with one eye open and try to get a weapon of some sort- a knife or large blunt object. I completely believe you are doing all you can at this moment, but dont give up. As balaam suggests here, there may be other options for you.

    people out here in the world who were never Jehovah's Witnesses- they don't get it. They don't care.

    the best thing you can do for yourself is drop this us and them attitude. Its true that people who were never JWs might have trouble understanding how your own wife could do this to you- but thats only because people in the world may actually be operating on average with a greater degree of human decency than your closest companions on the inside. You need to protect yourself in this situation, but also be open to any help you can.

  • sizemik
    sizemik

    Miles . . . it sounds like you are a survivor. You've done bloody well under the circumstances mate.

    Hang in there . . . and things will definitely improve.

    Maybe a thread "Anyone here from Austin TX" could put you in touch with some ex-JW's. A lot of posters come here infrequently, but will be willing to make contact I'm sure.

  • GuitarGuy302
    GuitarGuy302

    Hargitay,

    I am new here and I too was df'd but for questioning the UN thing and then they waited to see how they could find a reason to do it, just about my whole family does not talk to me, all my friends turned their back on me, but when I was the P.O. of the congreagation, oh what a different story, they had me high in their opinion. I was fortunate that my wife is still with me, and we have a good business at the moment that I have to attend. Soryy you are going through your situation keep a strong mind my friend. Anyway I am about an hour away in Fredericksburg, but I hate to say it but am am way too busy which I again hate to say, to spend time with you which I know is more important, but I would like to help you out if, you would like. I really hope this does not sound awful, but instead of doing nothing at all, I would like to help you money wise for now. I know you do not want a handout, but if helps, I say take it, for now. Do you have pay pal account? Or how can I get some funds to you. It may not be much but it can help for now right? Let me know.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    I willingly left because of the pain and disappointment in my children's eyes.

    Who caused that pain and disappointment? You?

    All you did was stop believing (or pretending to believe) a load of bullshit taught by people who should have grown a pair and stopped ignoring the warnings in their own Bible that they were (or were following) false prophets. Let the blame lie where it belongs.

    You don't have to stand up for what you believe.

    You don't even have to have a belief to stand up for. Don't make any claims that you have to prove. Shut up except to make them talk & research.

    The JWs are the ones making the extraordinary claims so ...

    You have to make the JWs in your life defend their stance, their beliefs, their rules, and in the case of individuals who 'run ahead of Jehovah' and make up their own selfserving versions of doctrines and rules, prove that their La La Land view of the cult is supported by the litteratrash it churns out. In your wife's case, she should go and find the articles encouraging JW wives to stay with non-believing husbands and find out for herself that she can't find any that condone asking you to leave. Your kids should have to do the same if they spout any nonsense.

    You can't teach your children critical thinking skills if they are not in your home.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    Especially for your children: GO BACK HOME. You have the right to be in your home and with your children.

    I didn't know you had children but that makes it all the worse. I left too but I had the means to support myself, my lawyer said I should've never left though. Even though you're renting, they can't just kick you out because you're not a JW, there are laws against that.

    Seriously, the first step before anything else is reclaim your home and reclaim your children. Yes, to your WIFE you may be a disappointment but your CHILDREN will NEVER feel that way, you are their father and the most important person in their lives besides their mother. YOU have to be WITH your children. If SHE leaves with the children while you're at home, file a police report for both marital abandonment and parental kidnapping, that way you'll be stronger in a custody claim.

    Seriously, take this advice, go back home, clean up and find a job. If your wife is difficult about it, go to the police. There are plenty of low-wage jobs, McD, WalMart, ... but you need a place to live first and you need to see your children, that is the most important.

  • Hargitay
    Hargitay

    Update: I found a little handyman work for the last few weeks and made a little money, but was basically working for room and board. I am back to square one again, and will be back on the streets tomorrow. There was an offer to help me but the person who made the offer stopped responding to my messages and I don't know what that means, and the help never manifested. I can't say what all I have been through in these last weeks, but it has been mostly difficult and trying. I don't know what to do except maybe try and get to my sisterinlaw's place, but I am not sure she will take me in. we shall see.

  • happy@last
    [email protected]

    Hargitay, your story is so sad, hang on in there. I can only stress what others have said, save your kids, get back to them, you know what poison they will be getting fed.

  • Hargitay
    Hargitay

    I talked to my sister in law, I told her what I could without overwhelming her, and she welcomed me to come and visit. Meanwhile, I have made it to Dallas and need a place to stay for a couple nights while I make arrangements to get to her home in another state. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it. I don't want a handout. I just need a break and a safe place to stay for a day or two while I make arrangements to get to her.

    My brother died recently, and we were not close since I was a JW and he had long ago went his own way after disfellowshipment. I sort of treated him like crap all these years, so my sister in law is being extremely gracious and loving considering. It is amazing how the only people willing to show love are worldly people and apostates. I feel so shitty when I think about all those years of wasted time holding my brother at arms-length because he was disfellowshipped. I have some explaning and some amends to make to his widow, with egg on my face, ashamed, humbled, and quite ready to hear about how my brother suffered emotionally and mentally for the shunning he experienced. I deserve to bare it. i deserved take whatever rebuke she might have, in the end, for me.

    What a fucked up journey this has been. Sorry for the language, but it feels good to effing cuss a bit. lol

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