Let's talk about the worst articles from the WT for young people (YPA articles and others).

by Chemical Emotions 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades

    this thread makes me happy

    bt not toooo happy

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    NC said:

    When we are finished with this thread, we will bind it and sell it.

    Sell it as what: "Fifty Shades of Questions Young People Ask?

    Nambo said:

    I allways felt the YPA book left many questions unanswered, for instance, it never mentioned if self-fellatio was a sin or not.

    Hmmm, good point. Maybe it's like the 3 sec rule, where if one's seed isn't actually spilled onto the ground, it isn't considered as "spilled"? Hmmm, I'll have to think about it....

    Off the top of my head, Jesus DID say that it's not what goes IN one's mouth that makes one unclean, but what comes OUT of the mouth (that MAY be applicable here. Just to be safe, don't spit. BTW, it's a compelling argument for gays who don't lie down with each other (standing or kneeling, only), and for brothers to convince sisters to swallow, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

    (PS Nambo, I hope the back pain resolves soon!)

    Regarding the Biblical admonision to "deaden your members as regards fornication" etc, Iam inclined to wonder if this was a Biblical commandment to masturbate?, my personal experience is that its the only way I know to curb the otherwise constant obsession with sex I got whenever I tried not too.

    No, that's not it. Here's a hint: all those "gird your loins" statements appear in the Bible for a reason (it's analogous to wearing too-tight scivvies, or giving oneself an Ultra-Wedgie).

    Voice of experience says that long periods spent riding on the back of a donkey can do the same thing....

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Sell it as what: "Fifty Shades of Questions Young People Ask?

    Sounds like a best seller to me!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    KS:"True, but I think many of the women will agree that men's understanding of their what gives a male satisfaction is not the issue here: it's the males inability to get the woman off that's more of a problem..."

    I guess I should have clarified that the first part of my comment was particularly about the biological aspects for men. In the second part of my comment, I was particularly addressing the mysteries of the lady-parts. I'm no expert on women, nor a mind-reader, so if a woman has a particular magic spot that works for her, it would be a lot easier if she could give me some hints.

    I suppose that instead of just saying 'porn' (like the kind you've seen heard about), I should use something like NC's "erotica from a woman's perspective." Otherwise, I've seen heard about "educational materials" that are like a cookbook for the bedroom. We're born knowing how to eat, but it takes training and practice to become a chef. Maybe I'm over-analyzing, but I'd much rather have a 5-star sex life for both of us, rather than serve my partner a cold dish of "I've got mine... you're on your own."

    Besides, I've got some really good kitchen equipment.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    so if a woman has a particular magic spot that works for her, it would be a lot easier if she could give me some hints.

    I'm sorry, Billy, but this just isn't how it works. I'm afraid you will have to brush up on your mind reading skills.

    YET ANOTHER ENTRY FOR THE BOOK: YPA: Answers From a Perv and a Neurotic!

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "I'm sorry, Billy, but this just isn't how it works. I'm afraid you will have to brush up on your mind reading skills."

    Okay, I give up. I guess I'll have to settle for "I've got mine... you're on your own."

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Okay, I give up. I guess I'll have to settle for "I've got mine... you're on your own."

    And that will cost you dearly. muah haw!

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    Billysays:

    I'm no expert on women....

    Wha? A nice-lookin' kid like you, with those sexy glasses, slender tie, and a great big smile? There's no accounting for women and their fickle tastes, I guess...

    Okay, I give up. I guess I'll have to settle for "I've got mine... you're on your own."

    Hang on: "Paging NC, clean up on Aisle 9." She'll help you.

    PS having 300 wives and 700 concubines, I just realized the irony of me, Ol' King Sol, offering advice on masturbation... I've got women getting in beatch-fights to get with me, clamoring for my Kingly touch!

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    I like glasses.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Hang on: "Paging NC, clean up on Aisle 9." She'll help you.

    Very well, but this may get me kicked out of the club. Violating the secrecy code is a very serious offense!

    You see, Billy, the reason that typical porn is not helpful, but erotica is, is because of the emotion! It is not mechanics that women crave, although being skilled is a plus, it is simply not enough. And I'm not even talking about love. You're just gonna have to talk---use language---to unravel each and every mystery. And those mysteries will be unique.

    Give me a lava lamp and Miracles by Jefferson Airplane, and it just does something to me. Don't know why. It doesn't matter. But I find lava lamps erotic! LOL Go figure.

    Tents, water and rock concerts. Yowza.

    But above all, a connection through conversation. I used to joke that my husband (now ex) had nothing to worry about if a sexy guy came into my life. But if I had a good conversation with a knowledgable man---now the worry should set in. It's like foreplay to me. What to talk about? That depends. My exboyfriend, who I still lust after, would just sit with me and make up stories. Nonsensical, fantastical stories. Give and take. We would create the most ridiculous scenarios with full enthusiasm. In fact, this went on for years, but because I was a JW, I would run away. But after all those years of talking, and not even about sex, we were so in tuned to each other that the rest was easy.

    Yeah---it's actually not about sex at all. Weird.

    Now I gotta go text my exboyfriend. We broke up for external reasons, and this post makes me miss him. BTW---he's smart. He's kept on an ongoing text conversation with me. He still makes up stories, and I still embellish them. He doesn't get all romantic on me---but hits me in my weak spot.

    NC

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