by dreamgolfer 62 Replies latest watchtower bible
"Sure, I'd like to go with you to the early-bird dinner special, but who can we get to be our chaperone?"
A. Just take Bert. I know he's been dead for a few days but no one in the home has noticed and if you put some mothballs in his pocket no one will notice the smell. Just leave him in the front seat when you want to get down to business. Remember to take your teeth out first though Martha. You know how they can spring themselves shut sometimes."
Question not to ask an old person
"Can you show me your old helmet in the shed grandpa?"
"WTF is that smell?"
We can laugh at old people, but we are all headed there.
We can laugh at with old people, but we are all headed there.
Yes, FHN, it's just that some of us left on an earlier train!
Is using the blue pill (aka Viagra) harmful to my service to Jehovah?
No. He doesn't care if you have a frustrated boner when you sell Watchtowers.
I just heard about the New Release at the DC this year: Questions Old People Ask , Answers They Forgot
You guys have some Good Ones! Thanks for making me laugh just before I go to take my 93yr old Jdub mom to the hairdresser.
Old People Ask
Am I Ready to Leave Home?
“I sometimes feel that people are looking down on me because I’m 49 and still living at home, like I won’t be an adult until I live on my own.”—Gertrude
“I’m nearly 40, and I hate it that I have very little say about how my life is run. I’ve considered leaving home because I’m tired of my parents’ ignoring my wishes and telling me that they know better.”—Joe
Related topics:
LONG before you’re ready to leave home, you may begin to feel a desire for independence. That feeling is normal. After all, God’s original purpose was for youths to grow up and eventually leave their father and mother and establish their own family unit. (Genesis 2:23, 24; Mark 10:7, 8) Consider three important questions you need to answer. The first is . . .
What Are My Motives?
Bottom of Form
If you leave just to escape problems at home or to gain more freedom, you are likely in for a shock!
Danielle, who left home for a while when she was 30, learned a lot from the experience. She says: “We all have to live with restrictions of some sort. When you’re on your own, your work schedule or lack of finances will restrict what you can do.” Carmen, who moved overseas for six months, says: “I enjoyed the experience, but I often felt that I had no free time! I had to keep up with the normal housework—cleaning the apartment, washing clothes, working a full time job, grocery shopping, and so on.”
Am I Prepared?
“I’ve never had to make my own payment on anything,” says Serena, 59. “I’m afraid of leaving home and having to budget my money.” How can you learn to manage money?
WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY
A Bible proverb says: “A wise person will listen and take in more instruction.” (Proverbs 1:5) So why not ask your parents how much it’s likely to cost each month for one person to cover the rent or mortgage, buy food, and run a car or pay other transportation costs? Then have your parents help you learn how to budget your money and pay the bills. Why is it important to learn to live by a budget? Kevin, 60, says: “Once you get out on your own, there are a lot of surprise expenses. If you’re not careful, you can work yourself to death trying to pay off debts.”
Domestic skills Brian, 37, says that what he fears most about leaving home is having to do his own laundry. How do you know if you’re ready to care for yourself? Aron, 40, offers this suggestion: “Try living for a week as if you were on your own. Eat only food that you prepare for yourself, that you buy for yourself at the store, and that you pay for with money you have, instead of sponging off The Friends. Wear clothes that you wash and iron. Do all your own housecleaning. Work a full 40 hours like a normal person instead of spending your time pestering strangers in the pioneer work. Read a book. No, not that kind. The kind from the library.”
Social skills But consider what Eve, 48, says: “Two of my friends moved in together. They were best friends before they shared the apartment, but they just couldn’t live with each other. One was neat, the other messy. The next thing I knew, one of them even went on a date with a boy and played with a Sparlock toy and demons infested their apartment!”
Personal spiritual routine Don’t just thoughtlessly adopt your parents’ religious beliefs. Jehovah God wants all of us to prove to ourselves the things we believe. (Romans 12:1, 2) So establish a good personal routine of Bible study and worship, and then stick to it. Why not write your spiritual routine on a calendar and see if you can maintain it for a month without your parents having to nag you to, and if you want to maintain it?
Finally, the third question you need to consider is . . .
Where Am I Headed?
Some old adults among Jehovah’s Witnesses have moved in order to preach in isolated locations within their country or even overseas. Others move to help with the construction of places of worship or to work at a branch office of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Still others wrongly feel that they should live by themselves for a time before they check into the nursing home.
TO THINK ABOUT
Even if your family life is difficult, how can staying at home for a time benefit you? Being abused or brainwashed is NOT a good enough reason for leaving home.
It’s possible, in some cases, to stay at home too long and not develop the maturity and skills needed for living on your own. Even so, don’t be in a rush to make a decision. Many spiritually-minded adults stay home well into their golden years. If you’re moving out before you’re eligible to join AARP, reconsider—you’re being hasty. If you're looking for an apartment in the tender years before menopause, you're probably too young.
* Some names in this article have been changed.
# In some cultures, it is customary for a child, particularly a daughter, to live at home until married. The Bible does not offer specific counsel on this matter, though the Watchtower Society does. Girls who live on their own are sure to become temptresses like cows in heat who will end up disgracing themselves with prostitution, drug addiction and use of wind chimes. As it were.
Appeared in Asleep! July 2010
