People somehow over react when they want to fade or stop service. Maybe it depends on your elders, but I have been baptized for about 18 years and I went out the first 5 years during all that time. I got my regular yearly elder visits and whatever. I said, I didn't like going out, and just didn't do it, I did attend most of the meetings though. They can't force you, they can "encourage" you but they're not going to take you by the hand. If you don't want to go out, just stop. If they ask, tell them you never liked going out and you decided to take a break. That is not DF offence. As long as the elders believe that you believe wts is God's org and the truth, they will view you as a weak one, maybe you'll get marked as bad association and get less invites to suppers.
Same with a fade, they can't force anyone to go to meetings, slow fade or fast fade, they will do the shepherding call on you either way. As long as you BS them, they won't df you. If you don't want to get df, don't tell anyone what you believe and as long as your wife doesn't say anything to anyone what you believe, I don't see why you just can't stop with wts over night. If you need, BS excuses for elders when they ask why you stopped, there is plenty around, from depression to being busy to health issues which are private matter.
There are those that won't shun you no matter how irregular you are as long as you're not da/df and then there are those that will shun you for simply not being at the meetings. This includes so called friends as well as family members. Slow or fast fade will resut in similar reaction from others.
However much you want to help family, be prepared that no one will listen and be prepared for the worse case scenario - being shunned by your own flesh and blood. This is the cult world and their reality is quite warped.
Here's another example. My wife. I DA myself and she started going out in service more than prior to. Since I was and still am quite outspoken about wts fraud, I kept asking her how she can go preaching lies, and deceiving people about the dates and all that. Well she did read Gentile Times Reconsidered and soon after she stopped all of that, she stopped all meetings over night, and has been to one memorial since then and has been wts free for two years now. She's not df, hasn't da herself. Elders didn't come calling and she hasn't been shunned by any of her family yet. I understand why elders won't come calling on her which is obvious because of me, but they could have tried to drag her in for a kangaroo court if they wanted to - but that never happened. She hasn't been shunned by dubs on the street when she seen them and none of her family shuns her. It may depend on your elder but this is my experience.