I need some advice folks!

by DonutZ! 27 Replies latest social relationships

  • DonutZ!

    A few months back my then-gf (now wife) cheated on me with a coworker. Ever since then I have hated going to work because I have to see his damn face all the time. I try to ignore him and not let the thought of "him and my wife together" get in my head. As hard as I try it gets to me somehow and I end up depressed and thinking of ways to get back at him. It sucks that I can't talk to my mom or older sisters about this (I'm DA'd). Any advice is welcome.

  • cedars

    If the situation is really freaking you out, you could try looking for another job? That might give you reason for optimism, and the process of looking for new jobs might prove to be a productive channel for your frustration. Aside from that, there really is very little you can do. It's a horrible situation to be in.


  • Vanderhoven7

    Were you always faithful while dating your gf? I know I had a double standard before I was married.

    My advice would be: Forgive your co-worker. Like you, he was attracted to your gf and did what came naturally to men with minimal conscience. Swallow your pride, your desire for revenge and don't let him or anyone else control your emotions. Look for a chance to speak to him privately; tell him you know of the breach in ethics, but that you are willing to forget the past. It will help him to understand grace a little better and free you from torment.

  • DonutZ!

    Cedars-Hey man I have bills to pay too! Lol, I will try though to look for a job elsewhere. Vanderhoven7-Yes I was faithful during our relationship. But she kinda wasn't. I caught her multiple times still talking with her ex. And when this coworker got involved, I caught her and him sending very lomg and romantic texts and email messages. Note: She cheated on me a week before we got married and didn't tell me till a month into our marriage.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Leave the bitch and take the co-worker out for a drink, to thank him for showing up your wife for just who (what) she is.

  • DonutZ!

    BP- A little harsh there my friend or am I just dumb for staying with her? I just don't know who to blame here.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Sorry for being so harsh but she doesn't deserve to be with you if she wants to play around.

    You're not dumb for marrying her but I think you will be if you stay with her. She's shown her true colours. Can you live with a cheater?

  • jwfacts

    You and your wife are both very young. I doubt the two of you would have been married under normal circumstances, but just did it because you felt you needed to comply by the rules of the cult. You have said you just want to be a normal kid and ended up out of the JWs but straight into another difficult situation. If the two of you are compatible and really in love it may work out. But if it doesn't dont take it too hard. Try to enjoy being with her whilst you are, but if you end up separating don't let yourself feel guilty about it either.

  • OnTheWayOut

    A week before the wedding? You are in for a rocky marriage. You need marriage counseling, insist on it. If she won't go, that tells you even more. It's no wonder you can hardly face your coworker. It's a slap in the face to do it with someone that you know right before the wedding.

    If I may ask, what made her tell you about cheating? That says a lot too.

  • DonutZ!

    BP-I admit what you say is true, she has asked for forgiveness many times and she clearly shows it. But idk its tough to answer that question. JWFACTS-I do enjoy being with her and the thought of not being with her kinda scares me. It is true that I went from one problem to another. I feel that we are compatible. OTWO-I could try counseling but is it costly? I barely can pay bills! Lol. And yes I get angry whenever I see him but I have self-control. She told me (or confessed I guess?) because she said it was bothering her a lot, her conscience and what not.

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