Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee 234 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I cant remember who or why.I know one shot himself in his car. But I have heard of so many over the years I was a JW
    I would hate for those who judged them( elders) to stand before the REAL Heavenly Judge ...What sentances will they get
    wasnt it said "THE WAY YOU ARE JUDGING IS THE WAY YOU WILL BE JUDGED"!!!!!

  • Watchtower-Free
  • Theocratic Sedition
    Theocratic Sedition

    I started to bump this thread yesterday but got caught up in the mundane things in life, ya know, work. I just heard about someone in a neighboring circuit, someone DF'd, that recently committed suicide. From what was relayed to me the deceased's children discovered the body. This person was in the process of "coming back" and had a boatload of psychological problems. I didn't know the person, or any of their immediate family, just some of their distant family in our circuit. Whether this person's death can be directly attributed to JWs/WT, I don't know. I'm pretty darn positive the JW/WT aspect of their life didn't help. Out of respect I avoided certain specifics, but there's a few people on this board that reside in my area who might be or are familiar with this situation.

  • talesin
    talesin

    That's so sad, TS. It's hard enough to deal with disfellowshipping, and add that to an existing MI, it's a recipe for disaster.

    Sorry to hear that, hun.

    xo

    tal

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    I’ve related this experience before but want to share it again. My best friend killed himself back in 1986. He had left his wife and two young sons but wanted to salvage his marriage. His marital problems were compounded by his bipolar disorder and the fact that he was also a gay man. There were other difficulties and all of them contributed to his suicide at age 32.

    He had not been “disciplined” in any way: no public or private reproof, and he had not been disfellowshipped. Nevertheless, he had no need or respect for the elders. Our last conversation turned into a heated argument at one point when I begged him to go to the elders for help. I still hear him shouting at me, “Never say that to me again! I want nothing to do with them!” He killed himself two weeks later.

    I think the elders tried to help him, but his problems were far beyond their reach or ability to handle. My friend refused to seek professional help as well even though I urged him to do so. In the end, he made the decision to end his life by himself, but I also don’t doubt that there were elements of this religion which were factors. The toxic shame it imposes on many played a significant role and all the more so since he was a gay man and was filled with self-loathing. Being immersed in as homophobic a culture as Jehovah’s Witnesses are certainly did not contribute to his mental and emotional wellbeing. Looking back on his experience, I was very fortunate not to have met the same end.

    Quendi

  • hoser
    hoser

    My best friend attempted last weekend. He had a rough upbringing in an unloving Jw home. He is getting professional help. He is a very smart man, a little too smart for the watchtower I think. He is starting to see through the bullshit but his wife refuses to see. It is hard to cope once you find out the truth about the truth

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    I am glad that your best friend survived his suicide attempt, hoser. His death would have harmed so many people and for a long period of time as well. That was what happened in my circumstances. I grieved for many years after Tom’s death but have eventually come to grips with it. Your friend is going to need your help as well as that of the professional kind. Keep loving and supporting him. I hope that eventually his wife will give him the love and support he needs as well. But so insidious is the influence the cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses wields over its rank-and-file members, that your friend’s wife may never change her mind.

    Quendi

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    TS How sad. And tragic that his chidren were the ones to find him. The WTS stance against people going for the counseling they need is definitely a factor in many suicides. They apply so much pressure and then when people are suffering the only solution the elders can come up with is prayer, meetings and service. That's what gets so many in the first place.

    WTS quackery

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Quendi

    Whether the elders ever talked to him or not I am sure he knew what they would say. And he would want to part of it because we know that they would demonize him. What people need is compassion and when that is withheld and denied some people can see no way out.

    hoser

    I am glad your friend survived. Now he starts the work of putting himself back together. I hope he accepts all the help professionals can give him.

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    With respect to my friend’s attitude toward the elders, Lady Lee, you are quite right to say he no longer trusted them and wanted nothing to do with them. While I don’t doubt they made an effort to talk to him, I also don’t doubt that their talk was far from helpful. When I said the elders tried to help him, I was speaking from their perspective. Tom obviously saw it in an entirely different light.

    One of the problems these elders have is most of them believe they are appointed by holy spirit. It’s obvious to us that this claim is false. I can only think that elders refuse to look at their status objectively. The harm this has done to others cannot be overstated and many have paid a heavy price for this hubris.

    I was luckier than my friend. When I realized I was in serious trouble, I got help and found the strength to survive. I hope hoser’s friend can make a recovery and keep on living. His battle with suicidal thoughts may not be over and there may be more crises ahead. I wish him all the best.

    Quendi

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