Elders want to meet with us, help!

All for show

My husband is awake,yay! We haven't been to meeting since February, although we attended the memorial. When JWs have called us we say we are amazing, everything is awesome much to their shock. We have family in our hall...and have to navigate our fade with them in mind. Otherwise we would totally drop the facade today.

my husbands on and off elder friend said he wanted to talk to us with another brother. He briefly told my husband on the phone a couple parents complained... Basically alluding we are TALKING AGAINST the GB from the Feb broadcast against college...

A couple months back we went to a gathering, a group of teens/young adults asked us about college. My husband and I have many years in school-advanced degrees. We haven't been stellar jws, but we tried and we're sincere despite the doubts, this was in the past. Anyway.... We said we didn't encounter drugs, sex, or alcohol in school. We found it to be a lot of people of varying backgrounds working hard not for fame or wealth, but a decent job and future prospects. We had a lot of good friends, non witnesses we learned from. Also, we mentioned most going to school are not selfish and thinking (and realize school doesn't equal wealth)they will be rich, it's just a necessary piece of paper to move ahead in life easier than those without. We said it's a few years of your life and a few more working hard to move up. But when you start a family you can be more stable with a job and having a family and cost of living won't suck you dry. We told them if they felt pioneering was in their heart, than do it. But they all said college and a job was their goal and we said, well, it's do able while being a jw. Of course the kids mentioned the broadcast and we said we heard it. My husband said, " you are responsible for you, they won't pay your bills. How can you discredit college and it's beneifts when you haven't gone nor work for a living?"

We thought we were balanced and didn't blast the faith.... Apparently, some parents felt we were talking against the slaves broadcast since school is bad...and we are leading them away from the ministry. This is only per a short, almost heads up phone call from the elder "friend"

I read here and know,don't meet up! But my husband, not a born in,having zero experience with social Jw things, never being in a elders meeting or anything....he is like... What's the big deal. It's all BS...I will tell them exactly what we said.... Hello! It's a bad idea right. What do we do? We have to go to meetings in the future because of family. Or is this no big deal?

we aren't involved with any social circles and pretty much are separate from all jws...so this is kind of shocking. What we felt was a normal conversation ... Although we know it's not the jw stand to be pro-college publicly

Oubliette

The fact that disagreeing (among friends) with the leaders of a group should cause concern by anyone should set alarm bells ringing loudly.

Let's review: It's a cult!

cappytan

Well, if he or you doesn't do a "mea culpa" and admit that what was said was "faulty" thinking, then you could be deemed rebellious and it could escalate.

If your husband wants to meet, it might be a course of action to just say, "Yeah, we said those things. Were they wrong to say?"

Then when they tell you that it definitely was wrong, say, "Oh, I am so sorry! Maybe we need to do more research about higher education. We will make that the subject of our next family study!"

Oubliette

FYI: I'm a teacher at a public high school in SoCal.

We have several JW students.

There are a few that will be foregoing a college education because of this absurd edict by the GB, but they are the minority!

Most of our JW students will be attending college and/or university!

Take that, you GB fools!

Clambake

I don’t know the exact details of how hard-ass your family are but I would blow the whole meeting out of proportion use it as an excuse to just not attend anymore.

I had a friend who had his local BOE get involved with his marriage problems without him even asking them and felt they had really crossed the line. Both his witness and non-witness felt the same way about it. He just used it as excuse to fade away no questions asked.

Make sure you are really petty and small. Something JWs are great at. They will understand.

DesirousOfChange

If your husband wants to meet, it might be a course of action to just say, "Yeah, we said those things. Were they wrong to say?"

Then when they tell you that it definitely was wrong, say, "Oh, I am so sorry! Maybe we need to do more research about higher education. We will make that the subject of our next family study!"

I think it would throw up red flags to refuse to meet. After all, you've done nothing wrong.

I would add to the conversation that the "Slave" has always maintained that education is a PERSONAL DECISION and has also said that some cultures require more advanced education than others. THUS it is YOUR personal opinion that in our society, some level of higher education is NECESSARY if a person is going to earn a "living wage". Now, if a young person or young couple plan on a career at Bethel, well.........then NO, more education wouldn't really be necessary since EVERYONE (hint hint -- the GB) have all they housing and meals and necessities provided for them from the donations of all of us that have good paying jobs.

Now, if you've missed something in the BIBLE that would indicate that this is NOT a personal decision and/or personal opinion, then PLEASE show me the scripture. After all, Fred Franz was supposedly offered a Rhodes scholarship. GB member Albert Schroeder saw to it that his son, Judah Ben, was sent to Law School. Please explain why Judah Ben gets higher education but everyone else should flip burgers and pioneer.

Doc

[Edited to add:

I would blow the whole meeting out of proportion use it as an excuse to just not attend anymore.

I like that idea too. Be "stumbled" by what is said and how they say it.

truthseeker100

Does this meet up coincide with a CO visit? If it does or the Co's visit is close, I wouldn't pay it much attention.

OnTheWayOut

My husband is awake,yay! We haven't been to meeting since February

So first of all- YAY! and YAY!

I read here and know,don't meet up! But my husband, ..............
....he is like... What's the big deal. It's all BS...I will tell them exactly what we said.... Hello! It's a bad idea right.

It is a bad idea to meet up. The less crossing of paths, the better. But faders have to compromise until they finish fading out of there. (And great job on that, by the way.) But you need to be very very short and say very very little. I tend to agree with Clambake: "I would blow the whole meeting out of proportion use it as an excuse to just not attend anymore."

Here's what I would do, as the husband. (No point in the wife saying anything, as they are man-oriented.) On the phone, or in passing in an open Kingdom Hall (not at a meeting with elders), I would say, "We are fine, we don't need to meet with anyone."

Let them bring it up, as you try to say goodbye or walk away. "Oh, the college stuff? We honestly answered a few questions about our college experience from some people who asked and we did not promote any path for others."

Then if they want to say more, "You know, I told you what happened. That was it." I would not agree to meet and I would not say more. I wouldn't say out loud that they are stumbling me. If I lost my cool, I might just say, "This gossip and exaggeration is really upsetting me." Then I would walk away and not answer their calls or show up at the hall for quite awhile. I would probably turn in one hour of "service" for a few months in a row then drop it to nothing.

But that's me. They have only the power we give them.

ToesUp

So, let me get this straight. The Elders want to meet with you and your husband? For what? Giving your two cents on getting an Education to the kids in the Congregation? Really?

In our Hall we had servants (MS and Elders) who had their kids in a 4 year college! These "servants" were very proud of it too. So these jerks are going to counsel you?

So a brother who reaches out to become a servant has to get 10 hours in service to pray, hold a mic or read a Watchtower on Sunday but a Elder or MS who has their kid in a 4 year college can remain a Servant?

Don't get me wrong...I'm all for further Education. It's the blatant hypocrisy of this cult I have an issue with!

This is BS!!!

Don't meet with them! You owe them NOTHING!!!! Don't give them the power over you!

All for show

Eek....conflicting ideas. Thanks for the advice I will talk it over with my husband. He says shouldn't they apply Matthew and make the parents come talk to us?

Toesup... Apparently from the brief phone call ...it seems our advice was opposite of the GB and we insinuated, maybe explicitly, the Gb doesn't know what they are talking about. I think we did actually say, the horror stories of college are what you will find in any group of kids 18-22 ... ha ha... And that the GB have no real life concerns that we all face. So mainly, it's because we are negative to the GB. My husband definitely won't apologize when it's nothing to do with scripture or the bible.

The idea of making this a huge deal in our family and a fade may work out well.

Elders want to meet with us, help!

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