So why

by bushido8000 58 Replies latest jw experiences

  • bushido8000

    It has become very apparent to me very quickly that this forum is dominated by ex-Jws. I have many questions and topics to present but I first want to know who I am presenting these questions and topics to so I have 2 questions that I would like as many of yall to answer as possible.

    Question 1: Did you leave the organization out of the blue or were you first disfellowshipped?

    Question 2: For the people who left out of the blue, What made you leave the organization? For the people who were disfellowshipped, exactly why were you disfellowshipped? (the more detail about the situation, the better)

    I'm really curious about the answers as I have seen both ex members who were justified in being disfellowshipped and just talk smack because they are bitter and also people who were very unjustly disfellowshipped who really deserved an apology.

  • jwfacts

    My story is at I became aware of three things that proved to me that the Watchtower did not contain truth, and was a damaging organisation:

    1. It is not directed by holy spirit, as evidenced by wrongful appointments of elders and contradictory doctrinal changes
    2. It lies/whitewashes its history
    3. It is filled with rhetorical fallacies and misinformation, to support poor and incorrect doctrine

    With the above being true, then people are shunning family unjustly, or dying in vain through illogical stances on blood and politics.

    I left and had not been to meetings for about six months before the elders came after me and disfellowshipped me for apostasy.

  • headisspinning

    I was what a JW would term 'justly disfellowshipped'. I was in an abusive marriage. We were separated for two years with no hope of reconciliation.

    In a bizarre twist of circumstance (I hesitate to say 'fate') I reconnected with my true love and I chose to marry him.

    Given the Watchtower's view of divorce, I was disfellowshipped.

    I never wanted to leave the Organization. I tried very hard to follow the instructions given in a difficult marriage and I stayed in it for 13 years. I finally had to leave because my life was in danger.

    There are police records to prove this.

    For the next year and a half, I tried very hard to get reinstated. I attended the meetings, studied my Watchtower and humbly sat at the back of the hall. I seated and exited discreetly.

    THREE times I plead for help to get reinstated.

    Because my situation involved adultery which was termed 'schemed' and although I greatly disputed that... and although there were very extenuating circumstances... which I have detailed extensively in previous posts... I was repeatedly denied.

    So maybe you could even broaden your question... for me, the bitterness happened after. After I did everything I was told to do. After I almost died and was told to go back to an abuser who threatened to 'burn the house down' with me in it. After I cried and prayed and plead with the elders to no avail...

    I hope this is helpful.

  • N.drew

    Hi! Question #1 I left "out of the blue".

    Question #2 I learned that the friends were leaning on the understanding of the

    Governing Body which I believe is against what the Bible teaches.

    Those persons who have been unjustly disfellowshipped will never, in my opinion, get an apology.

    I have observed that very very few people in the organization say "thank you", and/or "I'm sorry".

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi bushido8000. I was never dunked and JWs stopped studying the bible with me. I guess, I am not JW material . I wrote my introduction in I post and read others posts to hopefully empower JWs to change the WTBTS from a publishing and distribution corporation using thought reform to enslave JWs to something more constructive. I care very much about a former friend, who is a devout JW, so it would be very nice to awaken her.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • DesirousOfChange

    It has become very apparent to me very quickly that this forum is dominated by ex-Jws.

    Contrary to your comment, as noted above, I have found that there are LOTS of JDubs here who are still "IN" but some have issues with some WT doctrines or WT policies. Hopefully they can just continue to hang in there since lately especially the doctrines continue to change on a regular basis and I'm convinced if they endure it all long enough, it may change to meet their understanding.

    Plus there are lots still "IN" who find that doing so is advantageous for their personal situation. ie, they are not prepared to cut off or be cut off by friends and family.

    Over all, it's an interesting mix. Some seem very bitter, many likely justifiably so, others seem to just be taking a day at a time, and still others seem to have made a game of it all.



  • Retrovirus


    My situation is that I studied but never joined.

    I'll interpret Q2 as "why didn't I 'progress'"? Because the literature presented as "Truth" wasn't true. For example quoting Francis Hitching; even citing him as an authority. He has a basic science degree and has never worked as a scientist; the simplest Google search establishes this. And pointing this and other concerns out got me labelled "opposer". Any information that didn't fit was managed by bad-naming the source; a simple logical fallacy.

    I do feel some bitterness as I saw my brothers' marriage to a jw struggle and finally break, and what their children went through. I saw that both parents tried their hardest to maintain the marriage but the jw religion doesn't allow compromise.

  • flipper

    BUSHIDO- Welcome to the board ! Nice to have you here !

    I once was DFEd for 4 years, then got reinstated. But I finally left the organization ( became inactive ) due to unjust treatment from the elders and the scales dropped from my eyes seeing that " holy spirit " didn't guide them at all. But I stopped attending not - " out of the blue " - as I put a lot of thought into stopping attending meetings. It was a well thought out decision. And me and my wife are as happy as clams ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • mrquik

    1. Disfellowshipped. 2. Married at 23 during the 75 scare. Was not in love with my wife at the time, but rationalized we would soon be in paradise & all would be fine. All was not fine. 23 years later, we lived separate lives. I found the love of my life, told the ex I was leaving & left. Of course, I got disfellowshipped which I expected. Had one member of the committee that had an axe to grind. After 4 yrs. out, didn't care anymore. Read Crisis of Conscience over a weekend. That was my epiphany. I never looked back. I'd like to take this time to thank Frank Mullie for his hypocritical, self-righteous stance over 4 yrs. Frank, if it wasn't for you, I could very well be back in that worthless cult with you.

  • mrquik

    Correction: 34 years of marriage. My how time flies when you're having fun.

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