Would you go back if you thought there were one in a million chances you were wrong?

by Paul Duda 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jeremy C
    Jeremy C

    Paul Duda:

    What you are going through is completely normal. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know all about the doubts and the second guessing. I too used to wake up early in the morning with horrible anxiety. Sometimes, I couldn’t eat. It got so bad, I even thought about suicide!

    I left the organization right before the District Convention theme came out: “Deliverance At Hand” and the world-wide Kingdom News tract declaring judgment on Babylon the Great was announced. When this happened, I went through horrible anxiety and fear. I asked “what if they’re right?” It was a roller coaster of emotions to say the least.

    The one thing that kept me from going back was that I had already done a lot of research into the book of Genesis. I knew one thing unequivocally: humans had been on earth longer than 6,000 years and the Garden of Eden never happened. Think about it: without the Garden of Eden account, the entire JW doctrinal structure collapses. So does the very reason for mankind’s need for salvation! That was the one thing that told me that their doctrinal structure was full of holes. And if their doctrinal structure was so vulnerable and weak, then so was their conception of God.

    Here is what broke the fear for me: first I found some people who had been out for a long time, and talked on the phone regularly. When I first left, I talked on the phone with two ex-Elders and an ex-Circuit Overseer. They gave me a sense of clarity that I could not have gotten on my own. Second, I read Ray Franz’s book: In Search of Christian Freedom. This book blew away the Watchtower doctrines, and finally made me 100% convinced that the JWs don’t have the truth.

    Today, I am 150% convinced that the JWs don’t have the truth. I know without a single doubt that I made the right decision. Even if I thought they might be right, I still wouldn’t return. I would rather die along with people like the Dalai Lama, than to serve a jealous, petty, psychopathic, mass-murdering god that the Watchtower worships.

  • mindseye

    Today, I am 150% convinced that the JWs don’t have the truth. I know without a single doubt that I made the right decision. Even if I thought they might be right, I still wouldn’t return. I would rather die along with people like the Dalai Lama, than to serve a jealous, petty, psychopathic, mass-murdering god that the Watchtower worships.

    Right on Jeremy C. This was the clincher for me. If they are right, and their God is going to murder peaceful, loving people just for not having the 'right' faith, then why is this God even worthy of worship? Once I had this revelation, I could move on with my life.

    Paul, like Jeremy says, what you're going through is normal. Even those of us raised 'around' the religion have dealt with those thoughts. Just stand back and analyze what they're really teaching. Do you feel comfortable with that? Then proceed from there.

  • wobble

    I hate hypothetical questions that have no relation to reality. So, there is not a one in a million chance they are right, there are no odds, there is just no chance they are right.

    As with Jeremy C above, if I thought they were right, which would be wrong-headed on my part, I would not return for exactly the same reasons as J.C

  • 00DAD

    I'd like to pick up on Mad Sweeney's comment that, "What they do should be criminal" by sharing a comment that DNCall made to me over lunch one day. He describes what the GB does to its members as a "Crime Against Humanity."

    The first time he said this to me I thought he was being a bit melodramatic. The more I thought about it the more I realized he was understating the seriousness of it.

    It really is an outrage!

  • AGuest

    Since we're talking about an organization that claims to represent "God" (by which I mean, the Most Holy One of Israel, the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, the Prophets, David, the Apostles, and most importantly Christ), dear P (peace to you!)... I would have to say that they would have to be 100% right... in order for me to go back. Not 90%... or even 99%. 100%.

    Since they are at least 99% wrong... there isn't a snowball's chance in... well, you get the picture. Doesn't matter to me if I'M wrong; the fact that THEY'RE wrong... on ANYTHING... while calling themselves the "truth" (and by doing so utterly attempt to usurp the possession of the One who IS the Truth)... is the ultimate deciding factor for me.

    So, no. No going back. Not even if there's a one in a gazillion change that I'm wrong. Indeed, the very thought makes me shudder inside AND out. Personally, I would just keep searching... but elsewhere. Praise JAH, I don't have to do that, though - I have been found.

    Again, peace to you!

    A slave of Christ,


  • Intel

    Dear Paul,

    Everybody here tells you ONE important thing: What you are going through is normal! Don't panic, just let it happen....ideas, imaginations, etc. produce fear, but everything - every thought, every mental picture you might have about Armaggedon or whatever is torturing you - is only a bunch of chemicals and electrical impulses in your brain. Every single human is a composite of atoms swirling around a nucleus...electricity in swinging motion. Really. This is a scientific fact. Fear is imaginary. Many things are imaginary.

    Paradise on earth, worldwide destruction, etc. are only imaginary. They can print this a gazillion times, it does not make it real!

    There is soo much circular reasoning to come to THAT conclusion, that it boggles the mind. Really.

    Stick to the facts - facts known by you! Go over them in your mind. It is YOUR choice what to think. YOU create your own Reality. The one you have right now, was implanted by the WTBT$....

    I wish you the very Best in Life, my friend.

  • NewChapter

    Hi Paul! How are you doing? I haven't forgotten that you, Noni and I are planning to get together.

    I've shared with you how deeply that conversation in the art gallery affected me. You carelessly said some very profound things, and I carry them with me. So I'd like to repeat one of those gems you uttered:

    "If it's the Truth, it will work for everyone!"

    I love that! I repeat it to myself. And I've thought long and hard on it. So I will remind you, if it's the truth, it will work for everyone.

    Consider some other thoughts: "by their fruits, you will know them". Okay, so what were the fruits of your loved ones when you needed them most? Do you believe their actions were a reflection of a loving god? You know I don't believe in god, but if I did, then I would expect some consistency. I see none here.

    Or think about how much I knew about you already when we met. Granted many of the details were wrong. BUT they came to me through years of vicious gossip! Does this kind of behavior indicate that these people are serving a loving god?

    Still I don't believe Paul, but the god you presented when you talked to me was someone I kind of wish I could believe in. Think about THAT god, and not this perverse portrayal of a deity that the WT presents. If there really is a paradise, which is your concern, would these really be the kind of people inhabiting it?

    Call anytime!


  • journey-on

    Three things helped me psychologically: #1...If it is the truth, I DO NOT want to live for eternity with a bunch of JWs and;

    #2...I do not want to suffocate my children and their entire childhood with this religion taking the chance that this religion is the truth; and

    #3... If it is true, I'm willing to die at Armageddon to live THIS life, the only one I know with 100% certainty is Truth, with authenticity.

  • leavingwt

    Often I wake up in a cold sweat wondering if I'm wrong.

    This is very common, during the early stages of an exit.

    However, if you've been out for years, and these feelings still persist, you need to take action. Primarily, you need to begin doing the necessary research by reading multiple books.

    Once you've done the necessary research, with each passing day your life will get better and the thought of returning to the WT dogma will be incomprehensible.

  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    Jeremy C - you have a PM

    Just in case you missed it...


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