JW Women Self-0Loathing - Get a Back Bone

by Band on the Run 98 Replies latest jw friends

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  EntirelyPossible

  We are smarter than the brothers. Not the same. Smarter.

  Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich. (joking!)

  Yes, women are treated like shit in this religion. Men are treated as all potential for leadership. Males, should choose to not reach out for leadership, are treated as second class. Women, if they show leadership, are told to mind their place.

  Neither sex can have any doubts, express criticism or not subvert their own desires or opinions for the group. It sucks for everyone involved. Even those that LOVE the religion tend to die poor and having worked hard at menial jobs their entire life because the end was just around the corner. Sure there are exceptions, but for the most part, no one gets out unscathed.

  /Srsly, where's my sammich?
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  meangirl

  Yes, women are treated like shit in this religion. Men are treated as all potential for leadership. Males, should choose to not reach out for leadership, are treated as second class. Women, if they show leadership, are told to mind their place.

  Bingo
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  blondie

  Believe me, men and women are all treated like shit in the WT organization. Just different techniques. The most important thing is to get rid of that in ourselves, the thinking inside the WT organization and the negative thinking styles that some people have outside the WT organization towards gender, race, social status, nationality and value each other, treating others like we would like to be treated.

  Blondie
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  No Room For George

  While agree that women in this religion have made themselves door mats, I think it should be stated that they have it better than the brothers as not much is expected of sisters, as is the brothers. Really, when you think about it, the only thing sisters have to do is, show face. Nothing is expected of sisters, and I have to say that I envy them in that regards. They just have to show up at the meetings, put in some field service time even if they lie about their hours. I feel for sisters married to brothers with appointments in the organization as I'm sure that affects their intimacy. Still, to complain about pant suits vs skirts is kinda silly, and I realize that the pants rule is just a symptom of the larger problem, but the larger problem affects both men and women in this organization, and it disproportionately affects the men far worse than the sisters. Sisters may make themselves into door mats, but brothers on the other hand, are born and raised to become door mats.

  Brothers are born and bred into serving the organization. Microphones, literature, sound, attendants, talks, meeting parts, school overseer, service committee, service overseer, COBOE, DO, CO, Branch Committee, elder meetings, ministerial servants, group overseers, taking the speaker out to eat, leading the group out in field service, shepherding calls, judicial committees, investigations, phone calls in the middle of the night dealing with extreme social and emotional problems, elder school which by the way I just recieved a letter for that's going to be a friggin week long and 8 hours a day with the exception of Friday which will be for 4 hours. I mean on and on, and on, and on, and on..........sisters need to count their blessings. NONE OF THAT is expected of you, and seriously, do any of you want to do any of that shit anyway? I doubt it, and if you say yes, I'll think you're being facetious.

  As the other poster mentioned by the way, pant suits vs skirts is the goose/gander to brothers wearing full suits with ties vs no ties and sport coats or blazers.
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  Lady Lee

  How do women become so malleable to serve as door mats?

  And you think this doesn't apply to the men? Really?

  They sacrifice education, careers, and family to serve the Great and Powerful Oz Governing Body.

  They centre their whole lives around a publishing company that uses them and then tosses them away like yesterday's garbage when they aren't reaching out enough. I was an elder's wife. We hardly saw him or we waited long hours after meetings to get home because he was in a post-meeting elders meeting. We couldn't have a normal life because he was head of the household and he was busy working slave hours for a company that paid him zip.

  When are the men going to get a backbone and say enough?!
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  meangirl

  Yes I agree that the society treats all people as shit but I feel they truly hate women......if you look at "women issues"....... before somebody says men are victims of the things I am going to mention remember they are predominately women issues:

  Rape, child molestation, domestic violence and child rearing.

  Rape: If WOMAN does not scream (I have never heard them say even though this scriptures says woman the same standard would be true for a man raping another man....has anyone ever ead that-nope don't think so) when being raped she has committed fornication.b...WTH. Also back in the 70's and 80's they said twice womankind was to blame for rape because they use boys as sexual playthings when they are little.....again WTF?

  Molestation: Never taken seriously. Must have two witnesses to the SAME account.

  Domestic violence: Women are encouraged to stay with abusive mate because the society says crap like "Can you support yourself if you leave your mate?" "What about your sexual desires?" "What about your children?" Again, WTF?

  Child rearing: The society always puts that on women. At meetings, assemblies how often do you see some women get up again and again with the kids? How often do you see the dad in the family get up with the kids over and over? At one of our assemblies the nursing mother's room was in a freakin closet.....If men breastfed I can guarantee they would have never made a freakin closet the room to nurse your baby. Are there any support groups for new moms in the JW religion? What about understanding postpartum depression and supporting a new mom with that? Again, nope.

  There is a special hatreds towards women in JW land. Just because all people in the org are treated like shit does not diminish the abuse and mistreatment of women. Like I said it is a special hatreds. If Rutherford called women "a bag of bones" or something to that effect and that was the leader at the time what does that tell you? They want women to be loyal dogs. Seen and not heard just like good little children. Men may be treated like shit in the org but not to the degree a women is. They assign NO dignity to women at all.
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  LongHairGal

  BAND ON THE RUN: I wasn't raised in the religion but came in as a young adult with a job and education under my belt. My parents raised me to have self-esteem and value myself. I never bought into the mentality of being a doormat and I ran from users. I do agree that most, but not all sisters, play the doormat role. I have a few friends left and sadly they are doormats. Sometimes it is about not knowing how to say NO. Or else it is 'believing' this is what a christian is OR they are trying to impress. As far as wanting a JW man, I always believed if you were married to a guy who wasn't much, you were just Mrs. Nobody. So, I wasn't interested. Let somebody else have these "prizes".
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  meangirl

  Oh and does anyone remember the article about tipping your hat to a woman? They put that on the same level as worshipping women and also said that it goes against the natural order as God put man over woman and she is not to be put on a pedastal....Seriously does anyone not see the rage and downright hatred of women in this religion....Seriously.
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  LongHairGal

  MEAN GIRL: I know what you mean about rage or downright hatred of women. I did observe this but felt it was not MY problem. I never allowed anybody else's sick view to color how I viewed myself. Let these idiots pray to Jehovah about THEIR problem and their issue. In some ways I felt what I experienced was jealousy and also astonishment or anger that not only did I not NEED them, I did not care what they thought. This, I think, bothered them most of all. Men as well as a few women!
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  meangirl

  Thanks LHG, sometimes I feel that I am the only one who honestly thinks the society hates women. Oh and like you I never let it taint my view of myself either. Good for you I am a very just person and it enrages me that the society uses the bible to keep women downtrodden and oppressed. If there is any way I can do something to stop it or help somebody else I will. I can't easily detach myself from the main issue. To me it is a serious social issue and anyway I can fight it I will. It is like my new favorite quote:

  Injustice will continue until those who are not affected by it are just as enraged as those who are.