If I didn't learn anything else about JWs, dear jam (peace to you, dear one!)... I learned that behind all of the pomp... they're just like everyone else. Sure, they "don't" celebrate this (well, not on the same day or with the same gifts/decor...), or "do" that (well, not where they think anyone can see them)... but they do their own kind of "dirt."
Saw a lot of stuff, never ratted anyone out (except one elder because he came to my house SO drunk he urinated on my pool table... yes, he did! and when my ex mentioned it to another... who later DID rat... tried to say it was my ex. Not that my ex was pristeen, but he wasn't involved that particular time). But, I dunno - I think ratting is almost, if not as, low as what THEY do.
I did make sure they knew I knew, though... and then I was EXTRA nice to them. Didn't mark or shun. Didn't even frown. Actually invited some of 'em over... and was SUPER hospitable. Because I wanted them to know that even though I knew... I didn't judge them. I didn't - wasn't my place. And I HATE "guilt"... and so didn't want them to feel guilty around me.
It was all for nought, though: in the end many of these same ones treated me worse than others, when my "end" came... and still do. I just chalk it up to the whole "looking at oneself in the mirror, then forgetting as soon as one turns away" thing.
Now, I would have to care to even think twice if I see a JW "acting contrary." And I truly don't, so...
Again, peace to you!
A slave of Christ,