I ran into a couple of MS having lunch at the pub a couple of years back. I had known them all my life (before my DF, of course). They invited me to sit down. They were plastered. I asked them how they got away with it, and why aren't you shunning me? They just laughed and said "let us buy you a beer, J". It really made me realize how some folks stay 'in' because they don't want to lose everything. Sad, very sad.