My study teacher just text I ignore it, or give her a great one liner?

by Pams girl 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding

    How about texting, "I'm fine, thanks. You were right to terminate the study because I've decided the WT is not for me. Thanks so much for all your time. Paula."

  • AGuest

    Sure, sleep on it, dear Pam (again, peace to you... and my apology for omitting to greet you so, earlier!). You don't even have to respond if you don't want to. But if you do, I think you should be as thorough as possible from the start. Otherwise, you may find yourself being bombarded with subsequent texts asking for more clarification ("What do you mean?" "Why don't you believe it's the truth?" "Maybe you need to talk with someone more qualified - can I stop by with elder/pioneer so-and so?"). I'm thinking... nip it in the bud right off the top. Don't leave anything for her to "wonder" about. You will have told her, under no uncertain terms.

    But, of course, sleep on it... because you really need to say what YOU want to say.

    Again, peace to you, dear Mummatron... and the kiddies... and ya'll have a GREAT time at the beach!

    A slave of Christ,


  • blond-moment

    It always pays to be firm, but nice. You never know when someone will "wake up" and need help of their own. It is always nice to leave the door open, just in case. There have been great suggestions already, and I don't have any better. I always like the idea of planting a seed, so they know there is no use to keep trying, but ending with a friendly jesture.

    I keep waiting for my "study teacher" to get in touch again. I plan on doing just that. "I know too much to ever be part of that, however, you are always welcome to use my bathroom when doing field service in my neighborhood" Along that line.

  • NewChapter

    Since then, I get the occasional know from sisters (perhaps once every 2 monthes), but no real concern and all the friends in the JWs I thought Id made dont bother with me at all.

    Yeah, don't feel bad about this Pam. It's quite typical. For instance, I associated with them for 20 years, I was baptized, my best friends were all from the hall, we watched our kids grow up, we helped during the tough times, we celebrated all the graduations and weddings together. Then I started my fade. I heard nothing for nearly a year. Suddenly 3 sisters show up at my door and assure me they missed me SO much (yeah, I'm sure they were thinking of me) and then told me a list of people I knew that had died in the last few months--and they never felt the need to tell me earlier.

    I'm okay that they didn't come by--I prefer it. I'm not okay that they acted like they missed me and cared so much for me. It's a cult. When you no longer run with them they forget you. And no matter how friendly, or how much love, or how many experiences you had with them, they become dust. There simply is no room left in their minds for diversity because they are running so fast on their treadmill.

    You'd be letting her off the hook if you just told her. Otherwise she'll walk around with this nagging feeling that she should check on you.


  • mummatron

    Well, personally I would either not bother replying, or just respond "Fine thanks", no asking how she is or anything that could further a conversation you don't want.

    Though if you had the balls to do it, a picture message (they say a picture paints a thousand words, LOL) of you sat reading CoC, next to some Xmas decs, tucking into a plate of black pudding, with a demonized Smurf on your shoulder, would sure do the job!

    See you tomorrow!

  • outsmartthesystem

    JWs are much like Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber. "So you're telling me there's a chance!" If you ignore it....she'll text again in a few weeks. Or she will drop by. Even if it is a year from now......she still has a glimmer of hope. You have to end it.

    Personally I wouldn't say anything to her about her being in a cult. She won't take that well. A diplomatic approach is always best. Especially if you hold out home that someday YOU might be able to reach HER and help HER.

  • rebel8

    Block her texts. The best way is no communication, in my experience.

  • steve2

    I like mummatron's first recommendation. Just tell her you're fine. It's a text - not an email. I hate it when I get long texts - I keep thinking: Texting's not the place for explaining stuff. But that's me.

    Besides, she's just asking how you are and not asking for an explanation. You clearly like her and you say how long she 'studied' with you. That's got to count for something. Hell six years and you still like her. She sounds like a very nice person.

    Beyond the texting, use this as an opportunity to reflect upon whether you ever need to play the Explain Game with her. I doubt she'll come back into your life they way she did over those 6 years. So why is there the need to explain anything? It could just complicate things and, Pam's girl, being the way you are, you could end up feeling pretty bad about having to explain yourself and the knots in your tummy could get tighter and tighter.

    Short and sweet and noncommittal: Tell her you're fine but the weather's not.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi Pams girl, how about texting your study conductor, "Great & busy! Thx for asking. You were right to stop studing with me. Don't want you to have cognitive dissonance. Bye, Paula."

    Peace be with you and everyone who you know,


  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    Simple. Fine thanks

    asalamu alaykum

    Pams Girl

    I envy you the beach in Wales. Had a great week in Pembrokeshire last year.


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