The Convention Pretty Much Sucked

by Franklin Massey 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • Franklin Massey
    Franklin Massey

    There. I said it. I feel better now.

    But just in case you are wondering why I think it sucked, here you go:

    - It was clearly an "insider's only" convention. Why invite the public if you are just going to engage in crazy talk that only JWs can decipher?

    - The most potentially interesting talks were either dumbed down or blown through. In looking at the program, I hoped that the talks on Kingdom Illustrations and Jesus' Miracles might provide some sort of mental stimulation. Nope. First, the symposiums moved at a break-neck pace making it hard to focus on any one subject long enough to absorb something positive from it. Illustrations were bent to fit JW thinking. For instance, in the "Dragnet" part of the symposium, the audience was told that the angels in heaven have already decided the outcomes in judicial matters before the brothers handling the matters make their final decision. What?! And the talk on Jesus' Miracles was nearly comical in its application. Jesus is "The Great Weatherman?!" Puh-lease.

    - The dramas were nuts. I heard so many people gushing about how amazing the dramas were. "They are so realistic!" Yeah, they're realistic if you're a part of a high control, mind numbing, apocalyptic sect. For everyone else, they were just plain goofy.

    - No new light. The great white hype, also known as the final talk on Daniel's interpretation of the dream statue, was a big let down. For eager JWs, it hardly lived up to the expectation created by the convention invitation. For those like me, who wanted some wacky new light, a light so bright that it would burn the metaphorical eyes of those conscious enough to awaken to how crazy this religion is, it was also a disappointment.

    - The ripple effect. I am already sick of the post-convention high that has so many JWs in a state of bliss. "Wasn't that a source of spiritual delight?!" "Wasn't that the best convention EVER?!" Do you really want my opinion? OK. No and no. I think that even if the convention was held in a cow pasture, the speakers talks consisted mainly of belching into the microphone, the drama was a sock puppet reinactment of Jonah and the Big Fish, and the Society dispensed new light that syaing that JWs can't drink soda anymore - everyone would still say what a great convention it was. Best. One. Ever.

    Do I have a complaining spirit? Yes. But all jokes aside, this convention insults the intelligence of nearly anyone who attends it. There were so many offensive remarks made at the expense of God, Jesus, other religions, non-witnesses, witnesses...need I go on? I really did approach the convention with an open mind. I didn't want to sit there and critique the whole thing. But this stuff just jumped out and grabbed me. I tried to ignore the madness but I couldn't.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    Our ripple effect didn't last that long, it was business as usual at least in my eyes the following week. I got stuck at work the first Service Meeting after the Convention, and by the time I got home, I figured why bother. But that Sunday, it was business as usual, like we never even went to the convention. My father told me after I dropped the folks off, he was glad it was over. I replied I wish they'd stop these affairs, to which is agreed. Biggest waste of time and money going to these things.

    I got caught up in attendant stuff for the majority of the three days I was there. Anymore I figure its better to stay busy while there, rather than trying wrap your head around things you just don't agree with anymore. The very last talk though, I grabbed my bible and went out right outside the floor gate next to the stage as I wanted to hear what the big deal was about the toes. The toes man!!!!!! I have to say diarrhea has a better outcome than the final talk. I don't even know why I was disappointed as I should have been prepared for a letdown. Oh well, so it goes. One more under the belt, right Frank?

  • noni1974

    I haven't been to a convention in 14 years.

  • leavingwt

    Sounds like every single WT function I've ever attended. I'm sorry that you cannot get those three days or your life back. I wish I could get my 23 years back.

  • steve2

    FM, many thanks for your entertaining conclusions about the dumbed-down convention. Nicely humorous account.

    Perhaps the convention wasn't as dumbed down as you think, but that it's you who has moved on to more developmentally and intellectually appropriate ways of thinking. I liken the Watchtower to a pre-school for adults who either cannot or will not think for themselves. For these preschoolers, JW conventions are perfect - little wonder that some JWs gush about it being the best convention ever. Children, so young and sheltered, have poor memories and judgment. Of course, once you are no longer a preschooler, preschool looks so astonishingly infantile. Be reasured though, that like children, JWs on a post-high from the convention are generally back to their usual selves within a week or two - three weeks at a max. Remember, too, that preschoolers' attention spans are very short. Gushing today, yawning tomorrow . For the poor dears, it's now back to the same old same old.

  • Ding

    The last convention excitement came in 1966 (45 years ago), when Freddy announced 1975 as the date for...

    ... well, for nothing of importance, according to today's GB...

    Never mind...


    I couldn`t imagine dressing up..And..Spending a Sh*tload of money..

    So I could go find out Imaginary Toes on an Imaginary Statue don`t mean anything..

    Not even to the person giving the talk..

    If all you have to look forward to in life,is more WBT$ Crap..

    Why not just end it Now?..

    Stand in front of a moving bus..Jump off a Bridge..Put a gun to your head..

    Anything to end a Pointless WBT$/JW Life..

    ....................... ...OUTLAW

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    Fine highlights reel, Brother Massey! Your theme carried well through the entire discussion. Several times I almost felt as if I was actually there, with my eyes rolling back in my head.. even a little drool in the corner of my mouth. The next to last paragraph was no less than brilliant and I would like to see a 2011 Yearbook with your accurate summary in there as opposed to the standard BS.

  • serenitynow!
    told that the angels in heaven have already decided the outcomes in judicial matters

    What? Did they give any evidence of that? So has the forgiving of sins been delegated to the angels now? Jehovah is not doing that, based on Jesus ransom sacrifice?

  • jookbeard

    cant say I'm missing those damn Dc's my last was 1994.

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