"Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over."

by Mr. Falcon 48 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    (Numbers 5:23-28) 23 “‘And the priest must write these cursings in the book and must wipe them out into the bitter water. 24 And he must make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and the water that brings a curse must enter into her as something bitter. 25 And the priest must take the grain offering of jealousy from the woman’s hand and wave the grain offering to and fro before Jehovah, and he must bring it near the altar. 26 And the priest must grasp some of the grain offering as a remembrancer of it and must make it smoke upon the altar, and afterward he will make the woman drink the water. 27 When he has made her drink the water, it must also occur that if she has defiled herself in that she committed an act of unfaithfulness toward her husband, the water that brings a curse must then enter into her as something bitter, and her belly must swell, and her thigh must fall away, and the woman must become a cursing in among her people. 28 However, if the woman has not defiled herself but she is clean, she must then be free from such punishment; and she must be made pregnant with semen.

    Anybody wanna take this one and run with it? What in the wide world of sports is going on here?

  • leavingwt

    Wisdom like this can only come from a Divine source. Remember: His wisdom is way beyond our comprehension. Obedience is what he needs from us, not criticism. How can the pot question the potter?

  • Bungi Bill
    Bungi Bill

    "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" - I like it!


  • cantleave

    HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

    That is truly bizarre, WTF? indeed.

  • SweetBabyCheezits

    It all makes sense except that last part - "made pregnant with semen." I'm no "scientist" but I'm pretty sure it was the two margaritas that got my wife pregnant. Other than that it sounds like a normal Friday in the Cheezits household.

  • NomadSoul

    So is this implying that the priest shall impregnated her if she was found innocent?

  • J. Hofer
    J. Hofer

    i told this one to my little sister once, when she still believed all that crap and studied the "what does the book 'what does the bible really teach' really teach" book with my mother. i told her the bible says this. she didn't believe me.

  • bohm

    Apparently the jews heard the egyptians wrote on grass and papyrus was not the first thing that came to their mind...

    Leavingwt said it all. How is it possible for someone to look at such a text and draw the conclusion it is the writing of the most intelligent being in the universe who is trying to give us an instruction book for our lives?

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    leavingwt - speaking of pot, one would have to smoke monstrous amounts to even begin to grasp just what the fackery is going on here. Are they describing some sort of ancient abortion procedure here?

    Bungi bill - use it in health, my friend.

    Cheez! I always tell my children that they have a chloroform-soaked rag and a bored, complacent mother to thank for their existence.

    Nomad - Possibly. Who knows? Why not. If the priest is already all up in her naughty bits, why not seal the deal. I like how the Hebrew Scriptures always speak about sex as this soulless biological act akin to pollen fertilization. Where's the passion?

    J. Hofer - That sounds typical. There is so much that is conviently "left out" of those stupid Bible study "aids". Imagine having to explain to your bible study how they should be worshiping a loving God who wants to pump a woman's nether region full of "magic water" so her belly swells and her reproductive organs dissolve. That would make an interesting episode of Cheaters, wouldn't it?

    bohm - I'll say this much. Not that I believe this nonsense, but let's just for the moment say that it's true. At least God actually did give a visible, idiot-proof sign of HIS verdict. Unlike the judicial committees of today, where they seem to just roll some 12-sided D&D dice to seal your fate.

  • sizemik

    It would be interesting to have Delta Juliet Echo comment on this one

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