"Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over."

by Mr. Falcon 48 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    "Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." - Isaac Asimov

  • the-illuminator81
    the-illuminator81

    Here's another test for unfaithful spouses: waterboard them until they confess. Also works for witches.

  • sizemik
    sizemik

    Ladies must always fight fair . . . always.

    1. Deuteronomy 25:11-12
    NASB

    If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
  • Berengaria
    Berengaria

    And Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying:

    "O Lord, bless this thy Hand Grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

    And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu.........

    And the Lord spake, saying:

    "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
    Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
    Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
    Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
    Five is right out.
    Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

    Amen.

  • PSacramento
    PSacramento
    Here's another test for unfaithful spouses: waterboard them until they confess. Also works for witches.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits

    LOL @ Beks - nothing like a little Monty Python to shed light on a subject! We were volleying Holy Grail quotes on FB earlier this week. Good times. *sigh*

    illuminator: Also works for witches.

  • SweetBabyCheezits
    SweetBabyCheezits
    Psac: And as we all can attest, a radical change in the way we do things is FAR LESS accepted than a gradual change.

    But if god permits or commands immoral things in his "gradually changing laws" to make it easier on his people to follow, what does that say about god?

    "Okay, guys, look I know you can't control yourselves when pillaging the villages so, fine, go ahead kill off all the males and take the female virgins and bring them back as spoils of war and have your way with them. Just know that's not gonna fly later on."

    What if you lived back then and happened to be born in the wrong village and god's "Chosen Nation" set upon you? What if it was your wife or daughter who was taken after you were killed? How would it feel to know that god permitted this to "wean" his special people from their barbaric actions?

    'Non-theists may note that both kindnesses and atrocities described in the Bible but a decent person is always concerned about the atrocities. It is not those who point out the cruel injustices who are cherry-picking but those who ignore or excuse the immoral things that were permitted or commanded in the Bible.' (borrowed from QualiaSoup @ YouTube)

  • exwhyzee
    exwhyzee

    I wonder how many Christians were stoned to death or run out out from among their people before the invention of Lie detectors and DNA testing.

    T'was a great time indeed, to be a follower of the true God.

  • PSacramento
    PSacramento
    But if god permits or commands immoral things in his "gradually changing laws" to make it easier on his people to follow, what does that say about god?
    "Okay, guys, look I know you can't control yourselves when pillaging the villages so, fine, go ahead kill off all the males and take the female virgins and bring them back as spoils of war and have your way with them. Just know that's not gonna fly later on."

    IF, and this is a big if of course, God is a God of free will divinely given- as the bible tends to lean to- then God doesn't permit or command immoral things.

    It seems to some that there is a progressive revelation of the law in regards to all things and lets be honest here for a second because base don the bible, even those "liberal" laws were barely obeyed by the Isrealites, so even hashers laws would have even LESS chance.

    We are speaking of a people that, supposedly, after being liberated By God, witnessing the power of God first hand, turn their backs on Thei Saviour every chance they got.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    PSacramento: God hated Esau and he brings forth some people with the purpose of sending them to Hell. Calvinism.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit