Hello to all on this board. Thanks so much for creating it and fostering the spirit of welcoming and honesty here. I have been "lurking" here for a while now and should really introduce myself.
I have been a witness for most of my 47 years. My mother was babtised in 1974 and raised me in the faith. I was a slow starter but had been giving talks since I was 6, when my mom was just studying. I was babtised at 18 and went pioneering soon after. First reg aux and then regular. I burned myself out by cleaning all hours of the night and going in service all day, some mornings I would throw up from the fatigue. But hey, it's worth it isn't it?
I was the resident protege in my hall, I did it all, mikes, sound, platform, all by myself in a hall with about 90 pubs. The elders, we had 12 at that point did nothing to help and just "used" me.....we all know that term, "use". Later on after getting married to my wonderful wife; who was a pioneer too; I became appointed as a ms. Now the load really kicked in. I did the aforementioned things as well as, accounts, territory, subscriptions, (later these were cancelled), as well giving a public talk at least every other month, sometimes more. When it comes to public speaking and reading I have superior ability; it's all natural; not bragging or anything, and the other brothers weren't as able so they piled it on. I really did enjoy giving talks though.
This went on for 5 years, then in 1997 I was accused by a girl who has shall we say" issues" of swearing and allowing swearing to take place at congregation sporting events that I organised sometimes or just attended. A kangaroo court was held since I didn't do the swearing although I had heard plenty from others and said something to them when I could. The CO, aka Torquemada; who had it in for anyone playing sports; he succeeded in screwing over some ms's in other halls later; brought so called witnesses of me swearing over 10 years prior. What a joke. They had no hard evidence of any kind at all. The most difficult thing for me was that my elders did NOTHING to defend or help me, they just let the ship go down. I saw the writing on the wall and basically told them at the judicial meeting later that she must have heard me mutter something under my breath, and thought I meant it toward her since I supposedly called her a stupid ---itch....which of course she is lol.
She went around and told everyone she could about it and I was removed as a ms since it had become so widely known....not because of me..but because of her gossip.. Nice. Of course her father is an elder and you all know the rest of that story. The so called "rules" were bent into the shape of a pretzel and I got sold out so an idiot CO could further his agenda and get away with it because the elders were scared to stand up.
I vowed never to be used again. Over time I started to think about it more and more and realized that these clowns could not be appointed by holy spirtit at all. That's when the doubts came crashing in and I found this board. Ever since I have been emotionally flatlining at the meetings, since I still go now and again for my wife. She is harboring some anger too since this hall couldn't care less about her either, if you're not "in" with the cool people....well you all know how the rest goes I'm sure. I haven't been to a meeting now for 3 months and service for 6 and hoping to stretch it out.
Any way feel free to message me or reply to my post, thanks for letting me longwinded and I hope everyone has a great weekend...