by What Now? 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Discreet Slave said
My body wanted to have babies but my JW mind kept saying no I should pursue full time service.
Ziddina said
Like I said, deciding to remain childless was the best decision I ever made!!
It goes to show that we can be different....Thank goodness we live in a world where women can have the choice!
^^^ Amen, Brother!!
[whooooops..... ]
Amen Mad Sweeney. Witnesses are trained to believe that the world is getting worse. They look at the decline in moral values (porn being readily accessible on the internet.......gay marriages being allowed etc) and they say "see! look how bad it's getting". But they completely ignore the fact that in terms of freedom (to worship), economics, education, health care, life expectancy etc.....it has never been so good.
I've heard witnesses lament that they woudl have rather raised their children a "long long time ago"......when things "weren't so bad". Evidenly lower life expectancy and poor medical care don't matter to those witnesses. They would rather their children live in unsanitary conditions, have poor health care and die young than have to shield them from....gasp.....moral uncleanliness.
This thread was on my mind during the drive to work. I was thinking to myself how it must suck to be elderly and not have adult offspring provide assistance.
JWs not having kids?
The young couples are dropping them out like an assembly line (UAW assembly, not JW assembly). LOTS of babies, toddlers, and pre-teens in our area. Invitations constantly for baby showers, graduations, etc.
How many people made this decision back in the 1940s, or 1960s, and now regret it?
In one of my previous congregations, going back 10-15 years, there were a handful of Rutherford-era JWs.
One older couple put off having children due to te "imminence" of Armageddon, and the wife would often express her sadness & disappointment (when in the company of those whe trusted of course).
To top that, there was a 90+ year old bachelor who promised his mother, on her deathbed in the 1930's, never to marry "in this system". He fulfilled his promise, as did his brothers & sisters with whom he lived.
One of the most heartbreaking things was when he showed me a 60+ year old photo of his old sweetheart, whom he never married due to his promise to his dying mother.
Of course, these were all decisions consciously made by those involved, but still, all of this was prompted by the promise, decades earlier, that Armageddon was to come "soon".
My mom married my Bethelite father soon after WWII. They lived in Jersey. The local congregation shunned them b/c they married and children disrupt pioneering. The end was imminent. Six decades of missed sex and companionship later, the big A. still is not here. Someday we will be told to hold our breath b/c Armageddon is so close.
My mom's family were long-term from Russell. She had close family friends sell all their assets and go up to some mountain for the big A. Nothing happened. They were broken. The Witnesses preached,my extended family reinforced and my mom provided a Greek chorus of not take them too seriously.
My grandmother used to tell us that they were saying not to have kids when she was a kid. She always said that was crazy, and that we wouldn't have our family if they'd followed that counsel. So my family never endorsed that thinking.
About half of the witness couples I know DO NOT WANT children. It really has nothing to do with being a witness. Even non-witnesses are having fewer children and remaining child-free by choice. It's not necessary to be married or have children to enjoy a full life.
If you haven't worked out whether to marry and/or have children and you're surrounded by couples and families, using the good old JW standby to remain single and childfree for the kingdom's sake gets people off your back.
That's just another side of the coin.
I am not sure if it due to being raised a JW, but I have never desired for children and niether do my brothers - all raised JW, one in and one out now.
I know everyone is different, and desires different things, but I see people around me with kids, and they struggle with bills, and time management and their parents watch thier kids while they work and they houses are a hot mess, they never get a vacation and the kids are always sick and they take time off work to go to the doctors - not for trips to Mexico. I am sure their are rewards, but I guess I just don't see it.
And I refuse to have children, just so I can ensure someone takes "care of me" when I am old. I can make enough money and pay someone to take care of me , thank you. I am not giving birth to a servant, cause I am certain not my parents servant.
My time belongs to me, I vacation with my husband, I choose to have a career, I am not forced to drive and SUV or a minivan ( that sports car is fine) and I can eat out whenever I like, my life is still mine.
It drives me insane when people tell me how selfish, that is because, it is only selfish if I HAD kids and felt this way.
That being said, I have very close friends who are pregnant now and have kids, and I think its wonderful for them! Thats the life they choose and this is the life I choose.
FirstLastName,
Exactly. I totally understand not wanting to spend decades of one's life married and raising kids... lol. Having a family is just one way to enjoy life. Witness or not.
edited to add:
And I refuse to have children, just so I can ensure someone takes "care of me" when I am old.
That's good thinking on your part because nursing homes are full of people whose kids don't visit.
