You are welcome. I recommend finding a good self help book, support group such as us and maybe even a therapist. I've been seeing a therapist for almost four years now. She's helped me sooooooooooooo much.
Can't sleep... Feel so alone!
The most Important thing is You Are FREE now. Starting right now you can rebuild your life as all of us on here have done and are still doing. I got out at 38 years old and was brought up as a witness. I took all the good things being a witness gave me and used it rebuilding my life, such as confidence in approaching people I did'nt know and had never met before and starting a conversation the only diffrence was the subject matter. Public speaking on the platform helped me to be a good holiday rep for thomson holidays in spain and helped me to become a good salesman.
I'm not saying that all of us on here have that confidence but we have all got it deep down We just need to bring it to the surface. You have said you like to travel so travel because its the best thing as your out of your comfort zone as to meeting new people. Funny thing is people will suprise you. We were all told that none jws are evil and cruel of course some are but many are kind friendly and fun. I also met my partner while working abroad and She is the ONE I wish I had met her 20 years ago.
The bottom line is you are free now and its time to experience some of the amazing things as a witness you could'nt . Obviously dont go mad like some do and try everything in the first few weeks and be careful because some people try and take advantage of vulnerable inexperienced people .
Have fun because your new life has just begun Its terrifying But exciting.
See a counsellor about your self esteem.
What's all this noise, about? You guys are keeping me up. Now go to sleep already, and I'm a nerd too.
Well I would have to say from reading your posts . . . that you seem like a pretty interesting and likeable woman.
I can only assume from that . . . that it's the self confidence and maybe a few social skills. I believe social skills are overrated however, and that we each have a natural ability to relate to others . . . and if you relate openly and honestly as you have done here . . . then you have all the skills you need.
You have no valid reason to lack confidence except by lacking confidence itself. Being a JW tends to make us leaders in conversation and intent on teaching others. You could try this . . . People often enjoy a good listener and someone who takes a real interest in them. Good listeners are often popular. We just find it hard to be interested in others when we're feeling so self conscious ourselves. And being a good listener and interested in others is actually quite easy . . . you just ask people about themselves and let them do the work. It also helps us to take our mind outside of ourselves and gives us greater insight into those around us (the good and the bad). In time others begin to wonder about this person you are, who is so kind and interested in others . . . and they soon become interested in you. Give it a go . . . you may be pleasantly suprised.
'allo, 'allo, 'allo! Unky Punky form the UK 'ere.
Don't be too hard on yourself sweetie. We've all got healing to do and it takes time.
At least you have a few friends and often we have no more than a few. It's good that one of them was able to be open and honest with you. Don't give up on them. Don't give up on yourself.
Take time to breathe....give yourself space.......enjoy the day....look for the good in each moment.
Me? Since I left the bOrg my marriage is up the creek. Mrs Punk has virtually DF'd me from it. So, you see, we've all got our problems one way or another, it's how the cult operates to keep you in.
Your tears now will later turn to joy.........in time!
but i am dork!! they made me like that :(
Join the club.
I pushed people away for years.
I just had a holiday where I grew up. The only schoolmates still there, and still alive, were going to be killed by Jehovah, so I didn't allow myself to get close to them and I have lost contact with all of them. I just joined a club there. A small one, with a worthwhile mission to improve the lives of those in their community. As the club grows and I get more involved, my new circle of friends will grow with it. With a bit of luck, some of my old schoolmates will emerge and I can undo some of the damage the cult did.
I have a friend who makes friends really easily and is well liked by all in our community. I watch and learn. It takes effort on my part, but his techniques work for me too. If you know someone like that, take note of how they relate to a newbie on the scene and try their techniques out for yourself. You might just be in for a pleasant surprise. If you don't know anyone like that, the library will have books on how to win friends and influence people. I have a good one and the tricks really do work if I get off my butt and use them. I should get it off the shelf and give myself a refresher course.
It's like moving from the city to the country. You have to learn a whole new way of doing things. This takes time and alot of effort on your part. I am not saying you are not all I am saying its hard. I know I am going through the same thing. So hang in there. Keep posting. We all feel your pain and I am sorry you are going through it right now. Take a deep breath come out swinging. You can do it. Totally ADD
Free I'm sorry you are going thru this. It will get better. Give it time. There are a lot of good suggestions here. I'm planning on using them myself.
I started studying when I was 16 and baptized at 17. I'm now 33 and I have to start over. I'll be your friend.
Something you need is first to build up your self-esteem & worth. When you don't think enough of yourself that can hinder relationships. If you are still spiritual or think of yourself as Christian Joyce Meyers discourses are great. I bought her Confident Women Devotional and I'm really enjoying it.
If your turned off by religion get some self help books.
Meanwhile post and be patient.
I sent you a PM