Its been 2 years. She was lying in intensive care (I didnt know she only had a few days left).....
Building up to the bloody convention in Cardiff Millenium Stadium. Yap yap yap we can take you yap yap, you NEED to be there yap yap, oh my head was all over the place. I WENT....I LEFT my mother ALONE in a bloody ward attatched to tubes and machines FOR THOSE BASTARDS!
She died 2 days later. The routine op went wrong and the surgeon nicked her bowel and she died of blood poisoning. I SHOULD have been with HER not them. Im so upset and angry today. I will never get that time back. I will never forgive myself.
Im so sorry Mam.
If I could post a link it would be "Somewhere" by El Divo...her fave.
Im alone today.
I hate them.
Is it normal after 2 years to still hate them?
Can I move on and forgive?
I wish I could hug a friend. I wish............I wasnt alone.
Im sorry. Dont feel too good and my panic and anx is rising.
Thanks for listening. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
Love Paula xxxxxx