Abusive Families Drawn Like Moths to a Flame or Does WTS Help Develop Abusive Attitude? (page 3)

ziddina

Potato, po-tah-toe...

It's symbiotic. Sick, dysfunctional families are usually sick because SOMEbody can't admit the truth to themselves - their behavior isn't working, they can't handle a problem alone, they need to get over their pride and ASK for help.

Physical beating and battering was the rule in my parents' family system. Especially my dad - but mumsy dearest supported him in his violent bullying of we children into the cult.

The problems existed BEFORE they joined the JWs, but were exacerbated by their membership in the Watchtower Society.

On the subject of sexual abuse, I'm surprised that you [On The Way Out] are at a loss... What sort of behavior do you expect from a system that glorifies a Bronze-Age Middle-Eastern male mentality?

In one of the first books on feminism that I read after exiting the JWs, I found a study quoted that stated that over half of sexual predators are DEEPLY RELIGIOUS men. Not just fringe members; not just 'claiming' to be a Catholic or Baptist or Lutheran or JW - but ACTIVE members of a religious community.

The sexual inequality inherent within that Middle-Eastern book, the bible, is the underlying causative factor. Misogyny is built right into the bible. After I'd learned something about the attitudes and behaviors of sexual predators, I went back and looked at that account of Lot and his two daughters...

According to the bible, it was the DAUGHTERS' fault - and their father was "blameless", because they got HIM drunk...

Now, if you'd talk to a modern Social worker, you'd probably find that alcohol is FREQUENTLY involved in sexual molestation crimes, and ALSO that behavior of "blaming the victim" - "well, SHE seduced ME!!!"

Especially disgusting when the perpetrator is referring to a child of 7 years old or younger....

Once you've gotten past the supposed 'holiness' of the bible and take a clear, hard look at that story of "Lot" and his daughters, you're probably looking at a father who got drunk and raped his two daughters - and then blamed it on THEM. That is a sad but too typical tale of sexual molestation in the modern world - where traditions and male dominance can no longer hide the aggressors...

Zid

OnTheWayOut

Excellent comments in this thread. Thanks all, so far.

Band on the Run

Ive written of how I had to fight for life itself from my father and that a social service org. had a rape monitoring program in place to help protect me.

The sad thing is that my parents only re-enacted the norms of their families. Society must say Enough! and No more! sooner than it does.

My mom lost whatever little self esteem she had when she was expelled at 14 for the flag salute. She could cry and cry and support me but she was an enabler writ large. She acted as though she were the helpless child and she was. Cults breed secrets.

My father was drawn to the male power. He learned contempt for women at Behtel. Rutherford was very forthcoming in his hatred of women and his inability to keep his hands off women.

Public school and Tv saved me. I could not understand why I could not be Princess or a Walt Disney mousketeer. Just like any good JW, I repeatedly lied to my teachers about bruises, broken glasses, missed trips, etc.. My parents taught me to lie was against the Ten Cs but they also told me even worse stuff would happen if I told the truth about my father to my teachers. What a good Witness fo rthe Witnesses.

Band on the Run

It must be sad to be a man in the Witnesses. When you are a tyrant, petty at that, you are cut off from friendship with your mate. True love is impossible. These men never know true loving relationships. They must always be the boss man and never be vulnerable. What role modelsl do young men see? The ability to be a woman up. Beat up a US Marine, instead, to prove manliness. The loneliness must be horrid.

Imagine the cruddy sex for men!

It is not a golden age for men. They are only as good as their last Field Service report. Relegated to menial jobs, they cannot use their minds.

serenitynow!

My father was, and continues to be emotionally abusive.

I don't know if my father was that way before the JWs or not.

My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me as a child. My mother continues to be emotionally abusive. Now that I am an adult though, I call her on it every time she does it.

My mom is the adult child of an alcoholic. Her father (not a JW) was emotionally and physically abusive to his wife and children. My sister thinks there may have even been some sexual abuse, but that has not been corroborated.

I don't think the JWs caused the abuse to occur in my case, but being a JW sure didn't help matters.

sabastious

According to the bible, it was the DAUGHTERS' fault - and their father was "blameless", because they got HIM drunk...

Facinating observation and parallel!

-Sab

wha happened?

I was married to a sister who was verbally abused, (and judging by her very odd views and habits in the bedroom), and possibly physically abused. I saw the abuse when we dated. My ex was so happy to get out of that house but over time, she gravitated back to them. Even excusing them. Eventually she moved out of my house after our breakup and she moved right back into that abusive household.

I don't get it. She told me that the large majority of her "wordly" friends at school didn't go through the abuse she did in her "christian" household. I suppose if u give authority over the congregation to a small group of uneducated idiots with zero people skills, you're going to have problems.

metatron

On the surface, you would think otherwise. People see the plastic smiles and superficial obedience and may think 'this is the truth'.

but the underlying reality is much different

They twist words and definitions to mean whatever they want. They promote unceasing fantasies instead of practical, critical thinking. They quote the Watchtower with equal authority to the Bible ( while occasionally claiming otherwise).

Ask yourself - how is it possible that Governing Body members could be long term homosexuals? Or other men who were prominent in building the organization? How was it possible that a Bethel Elder was traveling and promoting the Society's latest literature while molesting boys in public bathrooms? Ask YOURSELF, if these things are exposed - often after many years - HOW MUCH MORE IS THERE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT? If you see a mouse or cockroach in your house, how many more are there in hiding?

but more than the above...............

The Society undermines and weakens families to such a degree - that it may be no surprize that abuse of all sorts goes on. Extended Family? Are they Witnesses? If not, you can't see them on the Holidays you get off from work or school. You aren't allowed to celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween or Thanksgiving. Birthdays? Nope. The occasions for bonding together are lost.

And instead of occasions for family bonding - which Witnesses are too "holy" to celebrate - what do they have?

The elder who runs off with the young pioneer sister. The brother who dumps his wife for a younger model. The sisters who apparently are so desperate for affection that they will 'do' the first brother to show them some private affection.

It's called pretense..... and it is often the most powerful aspect of being a Jehovah's Witness.

metatron

discreetslave

You've all got it.

Since JW worship God outwardly they are corrupted & twisted inside. Jesus said (Matthew 23:25-28) 25 “Woe to YOU, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because YOU cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of plunder and immoderateness. 26 Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup and of the dish, that the outside of it also may become clean. 27 “Woe to YOU, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because YOU resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly indeed appear beautiful but inside are full of dead men’s bones and of every sort of uncleanness. 28 In that way YOU also, outwardly indeed, appear righteous to men, but inside YOU are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

breakfast of champions

My mother beat the living shit out of me! Even as a teen, I remember trying to hide the marks on the back of my bloodied thighs from one lashing while changing for gym class. I find it difficult to imagine one day in my childhood I wasn't hit.

I think it is a combo of both: my mother was possibly sexually abused by her grandfather and most certainly emotionally/physically abused by her own mother. Somehow high control groups attract people who feel their lives are 'out of control.'

Abusive Families Drawn Like Moths to a Flame or Does WTS Help Develop Abusive Attitude?

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