Tracylee! So glad you are free of them! So sorry to hear the crap you endured!!! I hope you are healingFS
In response to Standfirm's comment about the two witness rule.
Lots of therapy, LOL! I'm glad I got out when I was young! Quit attending meetings when I was 18, formally disassociated myself at 19. I never felt so light and free.
Im gald you posted TracyLee, your story is just horrible and what makes it worse is its all to common.
You were smart and got out early. i stuck it out for another 20 years trying to blame myself and exonerate the elders.
As much as i wanted to, I could not find a halfway decent excuse for the WTS actions. Finally when my oldest child approached the age that I was when it happened, that was it, I could not make excuses for those men any longer.
The two witness rule would be laughable if it wasnt so tragic.
LITS, you asked about my past. All I'll say now about that is that your story has stunned me with the similarities between your experiences and those of my own and my sister's. It's almost spooky. Born-in, home schooled, sexual/physical abuse, intimidated with lies so that I wouldn't leave home, etc. etc.
It takes a long time to truly believe in your heart that they were the crazy ones. Knowing it academically is one thing, believing it with your heart and mind is something else. But you will get there. The "pop-ups" (good comparison) will come less frequently, with less power and they resolve more quickly too. Just keep working with people who are safe and who can guide you through the rough spots. It's really important to have that kind of support.
I've watched two of my sisters travel the road you're on right now. Although one of them past away before she had a chance to fully heal, I'm happy to report that the other is stronger now than she's ever been and leading a healthy, productive life (not in the organization, naturally.)
You asked if "mostlydead" had any meaning for me, and yes it does. I'm a "The Princess Bride" fan, and the reference is to a character who wasn't totally killed by an evil man who was trying to torture him to death. He's taken to the home of "Miracle Max" (that's him in the picture, played by Billy Crystal) who pronounces the hero "only mostly dead." Which is great, because he's given a miracle cure and regains his strength in the nick of time to save the princess!
And that's sort of how my experience has played out. They almost killed me, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, but not quite. I got out and got better. And I know you can too!
tracylee, I'm so so sorry for what you went through. Very happy for you that you got out, got help, and got on with living! Bravo!!
re: yr post "Reporting to Civil Authorities"
It sickens me, it truly does .... it's very clear that the concern is not for the sake of the children, as they repeatedly warn that in some states reporting is mandatory, and are very careful to stress reporting under those circumstances. The other point that made me angry, is that they repeatedly say "the victim can report" ---- WTF!! If they were true "shepards" of the "flock",,, they would be going to the police station with the victim and parents as SUPPORT ---- they can get their asses to the hospital pretty dam quick if they think BLOOD may be an issue.
tracylee --- good for you! you are not only a survivor, but a thriver ,
And I will repeat this for LITS and all others on this thread who lived through CSA ---- they killed our spirits,,, but like the Phoenix of ancient myth, we have risen from those ashes to spread our wings and fly --- free ---- to THRIVE, not merely survive.
I want to offer a big " group hug " to all of you here who suffered such terrible sexual abuse as children. Please be assured of not only my wife and my love and positive thoughts on your behalf - but I'm quite sure many here share my sentiment for you as well. Please remember the love and support for you on this board
tracylee I totally know your story and it just breaks my heart. I am just so glad you got out so young. It took so much strength for you to do that. I am just so sorry for what you have been through.
Thanks tailsin for you support and for everyone else's also.
mostlydead you words really helped me. I hate the fact that we like to feel we are not alone in our pain but it is true, we like to know that others have made it out OK while going through the same things we have. I just wish no one had to go through what I did, the pain that I did. Thank you again for what you wrote, I am so sorry that your sister died but the fact that you and your other sister are doing OK is so encouraging.
Again thank you for your help and caring.
AspereisnotaCircle thank you for all of your support also. I loved how you can come back with such great responses. Thanks you again for your insights into what we all go through.
Thanks Flipper for you and Mrs. Flippers positive thoughts also. You guys mean the world to me.
I suppose you believe that no religion is the truth, since no religion can do as you demand.
No, religion is not the truth. Jesus is the truth.
New International Version (NIV)
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
In regards to religion:
New International Version (NIV)
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
By that measure, the wt is as far from being the true religion as one can get.