Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!! (page 2)

dm6

Hello JuneBug_11, Welcome!

If i could ever offer any sound advice, it would be this:

Given your circumstances, i would say that for this to be succesful, Your fiance should leave the religion. However as sizemik rightly pointed out, hes left and gone back so theres nothing to stop him going back sometime in the future. I would strongly encourage him to read into the real facts about this false religion, but only do that when he starts given you a mouthful of the watchtower and how he wants YOU to know his so called "truth".

If he can dish it out, then he should likewise take in other things too. bear in mind that they are told to NOT read about anything online...(alarm bells ringing much)

Anyway, thats what i would say... please try and encourage him to find out the TRUTH about the "truth".

-dm6

DesirousOfChange

Your best resort may be to feign interest in seeing the PROOF that it is indeed the ONE TRUE RELIGION (as they claim). By posing questions based on info from this and other websites, you may be able to get him thinking about the many errors that exist but that most JWs are blinded to. If your discussion involves one of the JWs in the cong, you will have to tread lightly so as to not be labeled "apostate" right from the start.

Others here will mention what worked for them.

troubled mind

I grew up in what the Jehovah's Witnesses call a divided household . My Mother was the Witness my Father not . It was a horrible way to be raised ....For one I was in constant conflict emotionally and mentally as to which parent to please . I was taught not to completely trust my own Dasd just because he was not a lover of Jehovah .

The images of the end of the world were etched into my young impressionable mind . Is that something you want for your own child ? To be exposed to religious thinking that teaches unbelievers will have their eyes melt out of their heads ,and the birds of the sky pluck off their flesh during God's great and almighty war against evil and unbelieving mankind ??????

Please reconsider for the sake of your child . Be brutally honest with your boyfriend . Tell him now if you plan on allowing your child to live a normal lifestyle . What if you decide to never allow him to inculcate the child into the religion ? How does he feel about that ? How do you feel about him being away from the family on weekends {while after his reinstatement he will be expected to do field service and attend all meetings } ? You state that you want to show support to him in his religion ....how ever if you ever decide to choose a different religion he will show similar consideration ??

His life will change once he is fully back into the religion ....this is not your average belief system . Yes on appearances it appears to be a morally ,bible based way of life . But the creepy underlying truth is your life becomes subject to a group of men prying and weilding authority over even the most private sides of your life ........

PLEASE PLEASE think very cautiously about the decision you are about to make .

Quandry

Welcome to the forum.

How sad that you are in this situation. I am sure it seemed to you that he wanted nothing to do with the JWs when you met him. Now, again he does.

It will be a difficult road. Come Christmas, he won't be joining in with any celebration and may not allow a tree in the house if you are married. What about your baby's birthday? No party with his family involved. Your birthday? Same.

If you want your children from this man to get an education, the WT stance is that it is not necessary, and not advisable. The end is sooooo close, and has been for over over 100 years.

Does the congregation really like you? They are tolerant at best. If cornered, they would have to tell you that they know that you will be destroyed at Armageddon, along with your boyfriend and baby, as you are not JWs. (I am assuming he was never baptised, or he would be disfellowshipped for living with you.) Even the toleration will not last for him...they will expect him to become baptised and pressure him to do so.

And the wedding? It cannot be in the Kingdom Hall, and his family may not come if it is in a Church.

Please keep reading here about so many examples that others have had so that you will be more informed.

the-illuminator81

Junebug, please try to study how this religion handles women and try to research the headship arrangement. Women are second class citizens in the religion. Your husband will probably become more authoritarian as he slowly becomes more indoctrinated. The most a wife can do in a marriage according to JWs is come up with suggestions which the husband decides to follow yes or no. That's all wives are allowed to do when it comes to anything in the family like raising children or even deciding how to dress. He may now say that he will allow blood transfusions, but when push comes to shove, he will believe he is the rightful ruler of his family and will probably not respect your opinion on the matter.

Anything he says now can change once he becomes more and more into the religion.

Please try and understand that this is not like mainstream religions, it's a dangerous mind control cult. Your husband is under tight control, control through fear, control through peer pressure etc. etc. He will change his personality, and you will see the old 'him' disappear and soon you will only see his cult personality.

One thing that might help is to study cults with your husband and see how cults operate and then draw parallels to how the watchtower society operates. It may help him to wake up.

Please read:

http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/fear-cult-mind-control.php

dm6

i think this should break it down enough for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw1Vg8HsMK4

WontLeave

One more thing: You're probably not missing anything by not having sex with a JW man. They're notoriously selfish and clueless. They'll use "headship" and "submission" to get whatever they want, then retreat to prudish, extra-Biblical Watchtower rules of "morality" to get out of doing anything for the women.

RagingBull

TWO WORDS... GET OUT! (tell him that too.)

the-illuminator81

Oh junebug, please also read:

http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/quotes/women-submission.php

Some highlights:

"Such a wife is careful not to undermine her husband’s headship by nagging him or arguing with him."

"Being exemplary in a supportive role may be a challenge for a wife when her husband makes a decision she disagrees with. Even then, she manifests a “quiet and mild spirit” and cooperates with him to make his decision work."

"Before studying the Bible, I didn't think that my husband ought to be the head of the family. I liked to make many decisions on my own."

serenitynow!

Sorry honey, you're hosed. You are not going to want to be with him once he gets going with the JWs. It'll be a horrible, horrible life. He'll take your kid to the hall and in field service- goodbye hope of a normal life. Start getting the papers together so you can at least get child support. He's still mentally a JW, so even if he stopped going he'd still have that baggage.

Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

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