Hi, Newbie Here

by Iseenow 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Iseenow

    Well I have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and have finally decided to create an account. Just wanted to introduce myself and relate my life story in the Borg, specifically from the past few weeks- which I think has been a lot easier than many on the board.

    Anyway, my Mum began to study when I was 10 (2005) and since then has been babtized; she strongly believes it is the truth. I also, up until recently, believed in 'the truth' but I thought I lacked the right 'heart condition' by not having a personal relationship with God. One elder encouraged me to prove to my self that this is the truth before getting babtized by searching answers for my questions. I agreed that I would do that after my GCSE exams in June (for 15-16 year olds). One thing I did tell him, though, is that the generation change confused me becuase I did not understnad how they reached their conclusion ( which was sort of a back-of-my-mind thought). We searched this together and somehow I found a dictionary definition of 'generation' which included overlapping, so I 'said' that I understood it ( still was not 100% convinced though).

    This sort of stayed stationary until my holiday began with which I began my- what you could call- research. I started out with the 1975 thing I had heard about from a few people and found the August 18, 1968 Watchtower on the subject. This intrigued me: it seems they did more than say it was 6000 years since Adam's creation, definately suggesting the end may well come sometime sortly after 1975. With that I began to check the internet and what it says about certain subjects. I was always curious with apostate websites but never really believed what people had to say because in my mind it lacked evidence. But a pile started to grow when I found they actually did: the flood could not have happened; GB has made countless predictions, laughable scientific and medical errors, and stated derogitry comments about other races; Watchtower twists facts, quotes out of context, and tells lies; Watchtower was a NGO with the UN; loads of cases of pedophilia and molestation; and finally countless changes to teaching (especially generation).

    Meanwhile, I shared my new found information and increasing doubt with Mum and Bro. My Mum started saying I am planting doubt, but she could not leave truth. Me, thanks to the internet and especially JWN, started thinking this is all a lie and just exploitation of emotions and people's problems.

    My Mum told the elder I have a few quesitions and would like to speak to him. After a series of three conversations, he knows I went on 'Apostate' websites, but I told him I had to to get quotes ( which I showed to him). He also knows I am having serious doubts and my main question of why the watchtower can be allowed contain so many failed prophecies has not been answered sufficently. He used the common arguments from him and literature that, "They are imperfect", "Jehovah allowed this to see loyalty of servants", "Watchtower never claimed inspiration", etc. I believe I defended my viewpoint on those statements, but another arguement he had was that the watchtower got many prophecies right, which I do not know about.

    So now I am at a dilema, I am still unconviced about what he says. But becuase I have good friends in the congregation, which is one of the better ones IMO (based on reading what other peoples have been like), even if people are following blindly. My Mum and Bro are included, so it would be difficult to leave for emtional reasons and practical reasons. I do not believe in what they teach any more and I am even questioning my entire belief system (i.e. Bible, God) becuase I realised through the internet that I have no real justification for it. Anyway, just wanted to share and would like to ask for any advice. Thanks for reading.

  • palmtree67

    Going back to read your story now!

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Welcome! Where does your dad fit into the picture? I'm glad you've found your way here before being baptised, that will make your situation easier.

    There are lots of us here in the UK, you're in good company.

  • NewChapter

    Welcome SeeNow! Judging from your post, I'm pretty sure you were able to express your doubts quite well. My advice--do not get baptized. If you aren't baptized you can't be officially shunned. This way you don't have to give up your family. If you get baptized and leave, you really could lose your family. You are doing the right thing---just don't take that step! That will keep you safe. Most of the suffering here is because we got baptized and now are shunned. Keep reading. Read science and history too. This way your questions come from secular facts and not just apostate sites.


  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    ISEENOW - I would like to welcome you and commend you for your maturity! The fact that you have thought all this through at such a young age is remarkable! I wish I could have done that! It took me close to 40 years to figure this all out.

    As long as you are not baptized, you've got nothing to worry about as far as your family. They have no 'reason' to shun you if you decide to go your own way....

    Good luck!

  • Iseenow

    Well my Dad and my Mum had to split when I was 8. It was not divorce or anything, but too long to explain. He moved to tenerife and died in 2007. I wasobviously very, very upset about what happened, but I think it would have been a lot worse if he was still with us. You could say I was already used to him not being there before he passed away. I think it still feels like he is in tenerife, even after the funeral.

  • onefootout

    Welcome! It's good you are asking the tough questions now. I agree with previous posters...don't get baptized! Family relationships and free thought and decision making remain yours as long as you don't give over your free will to some old jerks over in New York.

    One thought..."watchtower never claimed inspiration". There have been recent articles that say outright that listening to the Governing body - through the watchtower - equates to listening to the Voice of Jehovah.


  • MrMonroe

    Hi Iseenow, thanks for your story. I would be very interested to hear from this elder which predictions the WTS did get right. Ask him for a list, because I can't think of any they could claim to be correct. They always throw the "revival of the United Nations" into the ring, but to me that's more like people applying Nostradamus' predictions .... now and then you'll get something that's vaguely correct if you squint your eyes.

    They often claim that Russell predicted world upheaval in 1914, which is an out and out distortion of facts, because as varioius websites including this one point out, he expected Jesus would be ruling the earth by then and there would be no more human governments or churches by then. So that was clearly wrong.

    The problem is that on one hand they say they are God's mouthpiece, so you better believe and obey them or you'll die .... and then when they get it wrong (as they have repeatedly, just like Harold Camping) they say, "Well, hey, we're only human!" You can't have it both ways.

  • cantleave

    Iseenow - welcome. I am in the UK (somewhat older than you), but will happy to chat through things with you. I was an elder so know how they think.

    Have you read Crisis of Conscience and Captives of a concept? If not I help you get them.

    As for friends. now is the time to start making new ones outside the cult, I never did and stayed in until I was 42. I wish I was as well informed at 16 as you are.

    Best of luck with your GCSE's, I remember that LOOOOOOng wait for the results.

    Cantleave AKA ANGUS

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Sorry to hear that. You've had to deal with a fair bit of crap already in your life.

    I understand how you feel about your mum and brother, it's why I still keep a toe in the organization.

    When it comes to friends though, they are very much conditional friendships.

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