New here - hello! (page 2)

Heaven

Hi sickandtired and Welcome! It's tough to stay in once you know it's no longer the truth as they claim. You need to think about what's really important to you because of your family.

I do agree with you that JWs have some good values but then, so do many people outside the religion as well. They do not have the market cornered on this. My policy with my family has always been to agree with their right to their religion, to point out fallacy when they try to preach to me, and to live my life as an example that contradicts their 'worldly people are evil' mantra. So far I have been able to maintain a connection with family, albeit disconnected, sometimes strained, and stilted. You cannot have a normal relationship like other people do with their family when one of you is a JW, and the other is not.

steve2

Hi sickand tired, Good on you for taking such a low-key thoughtful approach. You are indeed in a tricky situation. It's clear from what you have said that you've had your doubts for some time. Ray's book is a breath of fresh air. I like the considerate, even-handed way he expressed himself. He didn't come across as having an ax to grind or another religion or set of beliefs to peddle.

I should imagine you may be feeling lots of self-imposed pressure to keep your thoughts to yourself. I can't imagine what it must have been like to read through Ray's book and your husband not know about it. But you've wisely concluded it would not be a safe topic to discuss with him.

Go well and go gently. Contrary to the urgent emergency message of the JWs, you need to give yourself time to think through what - if anything - you'll do in the longer term. Best wishes steve2

snowbird

SickandTired, welcome to the forum.

I'm not an elder's wife, but I can certainly sympathize with you.

I left the JW's because I was suffocating - physiologically as well as psychologically - as mentioned in Combatting Cult & Mind Control.

I'm hoping and praying that you and family can remain intact, whatever you decide to do.

Love and blessings.

Syl

NewChapter

Welcome SickAndTired. It will do you a lot of good to post here, even if it's hard to focus at first. We are a vast group of many personalities and beliefs, but one thing we all understand is the postiion you are in right now. I agree with previous posters--you can't show your hubby any of this website or any other apostate material. Isn't it weird to think of yourself as an apostate? It was for me, but here I am, and I'm happier and calmer than I've been in decades. Seriously, I suffered terrible anxiety, panic attacks, and depression---once I discovered the real truth it all lifted. I haven't been this carefree since before the "truth".

funny you should mention the Mormons. Before I realized completely I was never going back to the KH, (it took a while to confirm that with myself) I started watching Big Love. Now I realize that wasn't really a typical Mormon family, HOWEVER, I recognized some of the reasoning and attitudes portrayed on the show as being very similar to the way JW's reason. It really made me uncomfortable. That's not what led to the breakthrough. I did some research on the flood---and well, as I've said before, Mammoths were my downfall. Gotta love the mammoth.

Welcome.

NC

carla

Welcome! Many have had the same feelings and issues as yourself, you are in good company.

palmtree67

and thank you for sharing your story!

Palm

ABibleStudent

Welcome SickandTired. Great post, because you were honest and wrote about your feelings! You should post as much as possible to let your feelings out so that you can discover what you believe and to let off steam.

Ditto what leavingwt said about reading Steve Hassan's books. Unforturnately, you will have to adapt what Steve Hassan writes about to your special circumstances, since it sounds like most of yours and your husband's family are in the "Truth". You should talk with your husband to find out what he is passionate about that is not connected to the WTBTS, because unfortunately he is a born-in and his authentic personality was not fully developed before being exposed to WTBTS mind control. You should also try to make "Worldly" friends to help yourself and your husband realize that the WTBTS is incorrect about its opinion of "Worldly" people. It might also help to research the Mormon religion with your husband to open your husband's mind about how mind control works.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

ABibleStudent

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

As you've already learned, don't mention the Interwebs. Regardless of the validity of the argument, JWs will think you read it off a tatoo on Satan's a$s. What worked for me was to say that a coworker or someone in the ministry had this question about...

Why and when did God create mosquitoes?
How did kangaroos get to the ark and back to Australia? (along with millions of possible other flood questions)
Where does the Bible say that it is infallible and that nothing in Genesis is a fable?
Why does Gen. 1 contradict Gen. 2?

Frankly, there are tons of questions that could be asked about the validity of the Bible. As far as particular JW beliefs:

Jews accept blood transfusion. Why?
Although Acts said to abstain from blood and things sacrificed to idols, Paul later said that food offered to idols was a conscience matter. Why?
What is the difference between having a pope and obeying a Governing Body?
Is the faithful slave a prophecy or an illustration?

As you already realize, the SI book fawns all over how ancient records are used to establish the fall of Babylon, yet ignore the same records that establish the fall of Jerusalem. They have to fabricate the date to prop up their 1914 story. 1914 is dead, but giving it up would be fatal to Watchtower Corporation.

Witness My Fury

Welcome to the board.

I sent you a PM, small envelope top right corner of the screen, click it get and error, click it again you should see the messages then.

undercover

Welcom, S&T...

As already stated, discussing doctrine, or the criticism of it, will only cause your husband, or any other believing JW, to raise their defensive shields. As long as somone WANTS to believe, they're going to believe, no matter what you or I say. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and wait for the once in a while oppurtunity to drop a one line comment that hopefully sticks and causes them to think.

This is a great site for "getting things off your chest". It helps to just share your thoughts and feelings and know that others have been there and understand.

As long as your husband remains 110%, you'll probably need to vent quite a bit...especially as it gets harder and harder to sit at a KH and try to act like a good little dubbie.

As long as you're trying to pretend, be careful and cover your tracks well. Clear your history and login/password info...especially if you're using the WT suggested "one computer in an open area for the entire family"

Good luck (yes, it's okay to say that) on your continuing journey to freedom

New here - hello!

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