Hi and thank you again for all your thoughtful comments and virtual hugs. They mean so much.
We've had some good chats over the weekend and in a few minutes we're going for a big walk to talk some more. I wanted to reply to some of your questions and comments before we went though...
Ding: Mind telling us what the key issue or issues were for you?
Give me a few days mate and I'll compose my thoughts on this a bit better. I wanted to do this anyways to get some clarity for myself and also so I can re-read it over again when I start to question myself.
Becksi: It turns out that moving to the opposite side of the planet works wonders for a successful fade
I think that would be one of the best ways to fade for sure. I can't say to much but we too made a big move in the not to distant past. Damn I wish the timing of my "awakening" had of been better and coincided better with the move. We have residency for a few different countries so it could be an option down the road.
Vidiot: Damn, Stumpy; way to take the deep end of the pool, dude. You don't do anything half-assed, do you?
Yeah I know... that can be a curse sometimes because now it will make it harder to leave the truth. It helps that I love reading and have about 4 hours free a day. Plus my business has a bit of commuting involved so I can make use of that time listening to audiobooks.
Doc: Some days I still wish I'd have taken the "Blue Pill".
Thank you for saying this Doc, I feel exactly the same way some times and I'm glad this is normal.
DO NOT discuss your doubts and your awakening of TTATT to ANYONE who is a JW. You CANNOT TRUST anyone right now, and that is esp your fellow Elders. Your best friend may "turn you in" thinking they can "save you" -- snatch you out of the fire.
Good advice, thank you. It's very tempting to say things, especially other elder mates when they question things to you so I'll heed this advice closely.
I know of an Elder who turned in his Shepherding the Flock book and all of his TMS records to the COBE and said "I need a break". That was his last time in a Kingdom Hall. He & his wife never tried to explain anything. They never agreed to meet with Elders. They just took a break and are "waiting on Jehovah". STFU and move on!
Did this work for them??? Today we're going to look at all of our 'fading' options.
Dubstepped: A quote I like is to "run with those that search for truth, and run like hell from those that claim to have found it".
I like that.
Ding: The elders I know personally seem to have been selected based on their willingness to swallow whatever the organization tells them and on their ability to forget all about teachings and practices they used to push the minute those things become "old light."
Yes, I've worked with lots like that too. But I've also worked with many that are quite liberal and question things, albeit very carefully. On our elders body right now about half are questioning quite openly among each other things in the latest 3 broadcasting videos. We have even made fun of the uber-witnesses who lap it all up. We've also had some very open discussions about the overlapping generation teaching. I've had to be very careful during these conversations! I'm also collecting data to use if I ever need to if they come after me.
Village Idiot: Seems that your wife has one foot out the door already.
Yes I've been very slowly helping her question things for about 3 months now. I'll write more about that in another post.
Freddo: Any family/extended family in? Are you looking to "walk away" without DF/DA or wake up as many as you can?
Yes, but none that I care about much except for my parents. I have a very dysfunctional family. My dad is a full in, black and white, never question the GB kind of man - also an elder - so I am worried about that. My wife has no-one in on her side thank goodness!
Kairos: Do you have other JW relatives or close friends you are struggling to keep?
Our close friends are the ones we are most worried about losing. We have both lived in a few different countries, single and as a couple so we have awesome friends all over the world. This is my wife's biggest concern.
EdenOne: You must ask yourselves what are you willing to lose by leaving
Yes that has been going through our minds these last few days.
One thing I did was to look back into my life as a believer and consider if all the things I used to credit Jehovah for in my personal life couldn't have an explanation that didn't require a supernatural intervention.
Funny you should mention that because my wife brought exactly the same thing up this morning! We have had things happen in our life that 'seemed' like answers to our prayers. We're going to talk about them on our walk this afternoon.
Make no mistake, it's a very very powerful pull, and some begin to rationalize that they can live with their doubts, or stay because of the social aspects of the life as a Witness, or that the Watchtower isn't so bad, because they're only "imperfect men".
Boy you're right on with this too mate. Both of us have said this to each other already.
Oubliette: you are both very fortunate in that you have each other. Most of us were not so lucky.
Yes I can see that I'm very, very lucky. I've read about others that are 'awake' on their own and my heart goes out to them. What a horrible place to be stuck in! I honestly thought that was going to be me for a while and it made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it
Dubstepped: I honestly think that if we could discuss openly the truths that we find that contradicted "THE TRUTH", and that if the organization as a whole had the humility to say that they really don't know on this or that instead of trying to predict things or read into things, then maybe someday I could find a place in the organization.
I feel exactly the same way at the moment. But the more I read the older publications the more I see a startling pattern of lack of humility. I also know from a very recent experience of a close friend (that I can't go into or it will blow my cover), that the GB members individually don't really have any power to change anything even if they want to. He was told all he could do was "wait on Jehovah". That was a sad realization for me.
fleshyheadedmutant: When we finally realized it just couldn't be the truth, we were bewildered, depressed, and felt like the rug had been pulled from beneath us.
Exactly how we feel right now.
Thank you again everybody for the time you have taken to encourage us. I can't believe there are over 80 comments and lots of PM's too! I'm looking forward to being able to help someone else like me one day soon too. Well we're going for that walk now. I'll write some more tomorrow.
