we had a brother move into our cong , middle aged worked as a carpenter and was an excellent tradesman, charismatic, very good speaker , hand up all the time, and had a real heart felt way about the way he spoke and answered, speaking to my elder father he came from a cong about 30 miles away and had moved into out territory, as the months passed he ended up working on various homes in the cong as he did in our place , (fitted warbrobes etc) after a while my father explained to me that he was a recovering alcoholic but hadn't touched a drop for years, after a while he was remade up to an elder, my wordly neighbour popped into my place one day and was very impressed with the quality of the carpentry work this brother had done and asked him to do a few jobs in his place in which he he obliged, so after a couple of weeks I ended up having a beer with my pal and he told me that he was very pleased with the work **** had been doing on his place and that they had gone out for a few beers! I said that I was under the impression he was a recovering alcoholic, my pal told me no chance of that not only did drink large amounts he was also seen in the local store buying bottles of whskey! I was well out of the WT by then and if I'd had told any of the elders that Brother **** had fallen off the wagon I would have been classed as a disruptive gossip !
A DOUBLE LIFE - What's the worst case you've seen
my wife - who went I got to know her would go to the KH int he morning and then in the afternoon hang out with her non-JW girlfriends in a disco in one of the racy parts of Hong Kong dancing and drinking cocktails. The place was later closed down after a police raid found drug dealing and prostitutes on the premises. I am sure she was not aware of that stuff going on there and she was still quite shy and naive when I met her - not there incidentally, we actually met on a walking trip organised by one of her non-JW girlfriends - but I did go there with her later so I knew what it was like. I think she went there as a release from the pressures of conforming to the KH and her family's expectations and to try to meet a man given there weren't any at the KH and she was a 30+ year old virgin. It wasn't really her sort of scene but she enjoyed the escapism of it and her non-JW girlfriends were real non-judgement unconditional friends.
So that is why I didn't think she took her JWism too seriously and I was shocked when after she was reinstated she went all zealous on me and said that as part of her reinstatement she understood that it was a mistake for her to have gone to that disco. I pointed out to her that the friends she had there were probably the most genuine friends she has ever had and that when I had seen her there she was genuinely having fun without any guilt or shame and that she shouldn't now have any regrets - which I think caused her some cognitive dissonance.
I think she always lived in terror of someone at the KH finding out about her going to that disco or that any of the sisters would find out about her relationship with me. She used to carry her sexy skin tight clothes and high shoes in her bag when she went to the KH and then do a Superman style change on the way to the disco.If we were walking downt he street and she thought she saw a sister she would cover her face or pretend she wasn't with me.