Your not alone Slidin Fast, there are a lot of long time JWs that are just hanging on precariously for their family's sake, mentally imprisoned
in just another bogusly devised corrupt religion, like so many out there.
All expressions of spiritualism are out dated and problematic toward mankind's continuing advancement.
The things done as an expression of devotion to this religion are arguably disgusting to say the least (human sacrifice).
It has become a big corporation that has many people living off of the proceeds in a endeavor to sustain themselves.
Its for these reasons among others that the wheels of the Watchtower must continue to roll........ unfortunately