An Intro and apology.

by Slidin Fast 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    I have been an avid reader on this site for a few years and have weighed in on a few topics and introduced a few more without introducing myself. For this I apologise. I now want to at least say something about myself.

    The main reason for my reticence is that being a second generation born in but having been baptised in the 50s I will find it difficult to make an introduction without giving the game away.

    I was a child baptism statistic, went through serious doubts but told myself to bury them and get on with it. I was a pioneer and an elder, appointed during the 70s serving for years before falling foul of the JC and getting disfellowshipped. I fought my way back having been genuinely chastened by my "sin" and the response to it; I think though that my behaviour was some form of subconscious rebellion forcing its way through in response to buried doubts.

    I was once again appointed as an elder and tried hard to be a sympathetic ear rather than a martinet, a society man. To cut a long story short my doubts became more and more powerful and I have fallen foul of the "loving" judicial system several times but have managed to be reinstated simply for the sake of being with my family.

    I don't think that I can speak openly of details of my life; there have been blood issue related deaths. There have been real tragedies as well as genuinely uplifting experience. If I told my story openly and frankly there would be knocks on the door in no time.

    Most ordinary brothers have been really good people trying to follow a faith that they believe to be true. I believe that most have simply got too much time and life invested in this ostrich to consider seriously living without it.

    The issues I trip on are many but include:

    The multiple dates, I lived through the build up to 1975 and remember with disgust the society's lame WT article passing the blame on to us. What hypocrisy!

    The changing stance on blood, I was one that believed that blood was forbidden. Period. Then gradually the stance was watered down until the doctrine is hardly recognisable. If you are going to make a stand and really believe in the resurrection at least have the courage of your convictions. Now I recognise the whole thing as being the whim of the self appointed gnomes of Brooklyn. Does God really expect us to sacrifice our sacred lives in this way? I weep for the many including family and friends who have been sacrificed on this alter.

    The generation, I wish I had a dollar for every time I read that scripture to an older person telling them it was their generation that Jesus specifically talked about. Now we have this desperate fudge that is presented to us. They look us straight in the eye and dare us to question what they say. If we express what we really think we know what follows.

    The ridiculous and desperate attempt to fight back the tide of knowledge and convincing theory on evolution is depressing. We now get a fudging of the time factor as previously firmly held facts unravel. The old "truth" is not openly retracted but simply stepped around with weasel words. The constant misquoting and use of dubious sources to bolster up a position is dishonest and beneath contempt.

    I know that morally speaking my position is untenable, why am I still a member? It is the old story. I have a family who depend on me. They know broadly how I feel but they are woven into a "marry only in the Lord" family mesh as are we all. It works well doesn't it, this tight web held together by fear of shunning.

    In the meantime I bide my time going through the motions and hoping for something, anything that brings all this to a head.

    There is so much more to tell but for now, good luck to you all. ( I couldn't even say that in the KH).


  • manthedan

    Welcome to the Dark Side

  • jair_irwin


  • jgnat

    A great introduction, thanks! No apology required. As I am married to a Witness, this is a very special venting place.

    • The weeks my hubby asks me mark up his magazine article, I purge the toxins by posting what I really think, here. I find it a useful counterbalance.
    • I have also mastered the skill of tuning out the meetings, by marking up my blank notebook with whatever interests me at the moment. I've completed entire project plans at a convention.
    • I also enjoy practicing Hassan's techniques of bringing out the natural personality of the Witness, by turning the conversation to their personal interests and hobbies. I have become so adept I can snap them out of the put-on cult personality in minutes. I could snap them back in, but that is not nearly as fun. Who wants to talk to a robot?

    I share these little tid-bits to help you through this time; mentally out but physically in. I won't give up my independence for any man.

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    Thanks mthed and jair. Thanks also for the tips jgnat. I also love to turn a conversation non-spiritual. On Saturday I did it on a friends RV, she was trying to get a scripture in and I was asking the man about his career.

  • sizemik

    Welcome to the board Slidin Fast (officially) . . . interesting account.

    You seem to have the WT pretty well summed up. Your current dilemma is shared by a number here as you probably already know. For that reason . . . it's a good place to be while the dilemma persists. All the best to you.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi Slidin Fast, Welcome and great post! From your post you sound like you are powerless, but you have more power and options than you think. Some options that you have are: reduce/stop donating money to the WTBTS, conduct real Bible studies without WTBTS literature with converts, send anonymous emails to your JW acquaintances, friends, and family encouraging them to visit websites such as the JWN (see my 04/23/11 post in How to email JWs at the Brooklyn Bethel?), and post regularly on the JWN about your experiences.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • pirata

    Slidin Fast, a belated welcome!

    If you're intro is late, mine is really late. I still haven't made one yet and probably cannot for a long time.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Thanks for coming out into the light. You don't need to justify or even excuse your retention of a membership in the JW's to us. We get it. But stating your position probably helps you a great deal. Good job.

    The generation was my biggest obstacle to staying a JW, tied in with looking back at 1975, but your other issues were also in the mix for me, so you and I can possibly become great friends on here.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney


    I've never done an intro post. I just slid in to this party through the side door and started posting. I stopped following unwritten rules (and some written ones, too!) when I left the Borg.

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