After Exiting the Witnesses - Are you O.K. Not Knowing about the Future ?

by flipper 76 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    It seems that religion has always been considered the opium of the people. Or at least many tend to gravitate towards religion to have or solidify some sort of future with a supreme being overlooking them hoping to have a reward either in heaven or in the Jehovah's Witnesses case - living forever in a " paradise earth ". It seems that people can't just live day to day and let each day come to them with whatever happens. There HAS to be some master plan in which their future is laid out for them.

    We were taught that future as JW's. That if we exited the Jehovah's Witnesses that ALL would be lost ! We'd HAVE no future , we'd HAVE no hope, we'd be UNHAPPY, we'd turn EVIL, and mentally we were told we'd be unsuccessful and fall into despair ! All of this because WE let go of a future that the WT society was PROMISING us that - allegedly - was true . But ended up being false.

    However , many of us upon exiting Jehovah's Witnesses have found we are HAPPIER NOT knowing the future ! Because it leaves us OPEN to positive possibilities of many varied activities we could engage in - unlike the tunnel vision of following what ONE organization is saying and rolling the dice putting ALL our hopes and dreams that the WT society has everything accurate about this life ! Which when you think about it limited our vision and scope and comprehension of the possibilities which would ENRICH our lives !

    A good book I've read a couple times since being a teenager is " Gestalt Therapy Verbatim ". A well known psychologist Frederick Perls wrote these points in an excerpt from this book which points to what I'm saying here. On pg. 45 he states, " So how about the future ? We don't know anything about the future. If we all had crystal balls, even then we wouldn't experience the future. We would experience a VISION of the future. And all of this is taking place in the here and now. So the most important existential saying is, we don't want to HAVE a future, we are afraid of the future. We fill in the gap where there should be a future with insurance policies, status quo, sameness, ANYTHING so as not to experience the possibility of openness to the future. "

    He continues, " It seems incredible that we could live without goals, without worrying about the future, that we could be open and ready for what might come. No ; we have to make sure that we have no future, that the status quo should remain, even be a little bit better. But we musn't take risks, we musn't be open to the future. Something could happen that would be new and exciting, and contributing to our growth. It's too dangerous to take the growth risk. We would rather walk this earth as half-corpses than live dangerously , and realize that this living dangerously is much safer than this insurance-life of safety and not taking risks , which most of us decide to do. "

    Then he goes on about the POSITIVE value of risk taking in life and how it opens us up to happier possibilities. So I thought you might find that idea interesting. Instead of catastrophic expectations after exiting the Witnesses - we can actually have WONDERFUL expectations of living a free life without the confines and restrictions of man made dogma weighing us down.

    So how have you folks felt about the future after exiting the Witnesses ? Are you scared ? That's normal. We all have at one point. However when you think of it- imagine how scary it would be to be inside the JW organization and realize that nOTHING they are telling you is true ! That you are being USED by a mind control organization intent on CONTROLLING your future ? Personally- I like the alternative to keeping my OWN future open with my own reasoning power and open mind than rolling the dice on the WT society's version. So as always I'm interested in your takes and observations ! Look forward to hearing from you. Hope you are all doing well and have a great weekend ! Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • sinis

    I'm pretty sure I can tell you what the future will be like within the next 5 years... if not sooner. ...and have prepared accordingly.

  • serenitynow!

    I'm actually not worried about the future. My plan is to just live every day. Do good when possible. Enjoy simple pleasures. No pressure.

  • flipper

    SINIS- So what do you think is going to happen in the next 5 years in the future ? Care to share your insight ?

    SERENITY NOW- Yeah, I feel that way as well like you. I find it much more pleasureable not fretting too much about the future. Try to do good, live in the here and now, help others, enjoy life's simple pleasures. You bet. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • talesin

    ditto to serenitynow!

    Learning to 'live in the moment' has been quite a learning curve, and my only regret is that I did not learn sooner.

    The biggest impediment to my healing was acceptance that I would never have parents who love me 'just for me'. Folks on this board warned me years ago, that as my parents got older, they would abuse me more and more emotionally, and YOU ALL WERE RIGHT. I no longer try to twist myself into a pretzel, seeking their love and approval. A hard lesson, but now it's learned, I don't feel the urge to vent my spleen on others, and spend so much time weeping.

    I'm not angry like I was, and in spite of some major health problems, have learned to take joy in the small moments that bring happiness .... learning to play guitar, the feel of my feline companion's soft brush of fur against my leg when she comes in from her outside play, the first flowers of spring, warm rain, reading a good book, watching Chef Gordon explode in the kitchen (lmao), and such.

    "The past is history, the future's a mystery, today is all we have - that is why it is called the present, because that's what it is - a present."

    ~ a quote from my old and dear friend John H. aka "Sarge"; if anyone would know, it's him, Vietnam vet and true survivor


  • cantleave

    As far as I am concerned, Live life to the full, don't adversely affect other people's lives and don't worry about what you can never know and have no control of.

    I am so much happier with that philosophy than the worry of whether I am doing enough to gain salvation.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    As a Loyal JW .......... I never had a care in the world.

    I was gonna live forever and everyone in the World was going to Smolder.....

    Now as a Full Pledged Apostate.....

    I don't have a care in the world.

    I'm gonna live my life with no regrets while the JW's keep their eyes in the sky...

  • snowbird

    I'm OK with not looking forward to the JW's future.

    Too depressing to consider living forever with some of those I've known.

    Don't get me wrong; some JW's are the salt of the earth.

    Others, I couldn't care less if I never saw their faces again.


  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.
    Don't get me wrong; some JW's are the salt of the earth.

    Syl same here......

    funny thou I met several on facebook only to find out they left with No regrets and wish only they left sooner...

  • Honesty

    I am very happy now that it has been over 7 years since I last set foot in a kingdom hall.

    BTW, I do know what the future will bring and it is far different than what the self-appointed false prophet 'faithful and discreet slave' has been dangling in front of its followerssince the 1930's.

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