Good morning all...
After reading over all of your advice and suggestions and hashing the situation out with a close friend I decided the most important priority as a parent is to clearly communicate the risks and realities my son is now facing if he chooses to continue being sexually active.
One of those very real possible outcomes is conceiving a child.
I thing one of the best ways to learn a lesson is through hands-on, practical experience so on Saturday afternoon he is going to be spending 3 or 4 hours, on his own, with his 9 month old baby brother.
If you knew my oldest son you would understand why this is so perfect for him - although he likes his brother he won't even pick him up - he's very squeamish about it and this is going to really take him outside his comfort zone.
When I told him my plan, he had a good chuckle but was really a good sport about it. He understands why I'm making him do this.
I think it's really true that kids feel loved when their parents 'discipline' them and honestly, despite what's going on, he is responding very well.
His father - my ex - totally backed me up when he heard my plan. He is pretty much beside himself about the whole situation.
The fact that my son doesn't want to be a JW takes away any Biblical advice my husband could use so he's a little lost.
Plus, he went through a similar experience growing up. Right around the same age he was involved with a worldy girl at school and although he didn't have sex, he said it was only a matter of circumstances that he didn't.
He clearly remembers what he was feeling and thinking and so he is very hesitant to alienate our son. I'm so thankful for that.
Oh and the reason his father found out so soon is my son actually told him first. And yes, his dad did approach one elder, but thankfully that elder is going to give our son some room and not jump down his throat right away.
Thankfully, our son is only an upbaptized publisher - thanks goodness!
Also, I had to approach my son about some very troubling evidence that my ex found. I won't go into detail but it indicated that not only was this girl very likely not a virgin as she claimed... she is also pretty darn nasty.
(Trust me - be happy that I'm sparing you the graphic details). I told my son that I felt like crying having to be so blunt but again, he was really good about it and wanted to hear what I had to say.
He got on the phone immediately after and confronted his girlfriend. So, I feel a whole lot better about that too.
Anyway, thanks to all of you for your amazing support and care. It's truly remarkable!
I will update you as things progress.