Do You Blame Your Current Life's Issues Because You Were A JW?

by minimus 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Do you tend to blame your problems on the fact that you were a Jehovah's Witness?

  • Snoozy

    No, I blame them on the problems I had that led me to become a one twisted my arm and forced me to become one. I was not born in. Even then a born in can grow up and leave anytime they want. I blame it on a person's personality and personal shortcomings..we can always change who we are..even if we can't change what we were..


  • prophecor

    Yes. I wonder almost daily, what direction my life would have taken had I never come in contact with this religion. From the discouragement of higher education, putting your life on hold because we were only here for a few minutes, no need to pursue any of your goals and dreams in this life. Wait till you get in to New System before you get married. Crunching those numbers, gotta' get yer time in. The phony fun at the gatherings..............

  • minimus

    Snoozy & Proph, good points!!

  • avishai

    No, but my shrink does!

  • ProdigalSon

    Yes. I went to college in spite of the Tower, but I've been through two failed marriages because of the massive confusion in my head, mostly from Watchtower-instilled FEAR..... Fear of immorality, fear of Armageddon, fear of being alone.... yada yada.

  • undercover

    Conversely, can you attribute any success in your current life to having been a JW?

  • unshackled

    There are days yes. But realize it is counterproductive to play the blame game on something you can't reverse. Most of us have/had issues to sort out because of being a JW. It is what it is...can't go back.

  • outlawwilly

    Kind of? Like others, I wonder where I would be if I was encouraged to go to school. I did not even start half ass living until I was in my 20's. The problem is, I was so emotionally stunted and so far behind the curve socially, I have not even caught up yet. I have ZERO family, so I missed out on that support for the past however long I have been out. When you go from a utterly toxic upbringing your entire life, to being thrown out into the world ill prepared for bugger all, and then have to do all the growing up and everything on your own, you can't help but wonder what if. That said though, what can you do? Everything I did and whatever happened to me after I left that enviroment, made me who I am today. I look back and in some respects, I can blame a LOT of bad things on the cult, and if you twist things enough, you can blame everything on the cult if you let it. The secret is, not letting it get to you, and infect your life now with any of the toxic elements of the past. (as hard as that may be)

    It is a tad bit to late for me, but it is for damn sure not to late for my family. My wife is getting her education, my kids are having a non toxic emotional enviroment in which to grow up, where a parent is raising them, and I am the one that gets to carry all the burden of raising them and also allowing the wife to do her thing therebyallowing them to realize their full potential. I am not trying to come off like a martyr either. The situation is how it is because of our (wife was a witness as well) past. As an aside, not all of the cults past life for me is bad. I met my wife on JWD.(8 freaking years ago!) If it were not for our mutual background and looking for answers, then none of this would be possible and I would have never met the of me life.

  • prophecor

    The dysfuntional connect with the rest of society. You can never have worldly people as friends or associates. The world was placed in such a poisonous light, yet I'm in the world no longer part of "God's alleged Organisation". I've been taught to keep the world at a distance, so I never really made myself accessible to it. It's been a monumental struggle to allow myself the room to find where I can fit in with just regular folk.

    I started with my family though. Thank God they choose to still put up with me. I go to Thanksgiving Dinners now, Christmas too, and I see so much I had missed from the years I was too good to associate with "These Pagans". I love getting together with them now as I find I can blend in and get beyond most of those feelings of frustration. I'm so absolutely no better than they are.

    I've also found those of similar intrest who love cars. We repair them. Go to the junk yard and pull parts. Talk about life, love, politics and the like. I still have faith in God. I make it known. They don't stand down wind of me, but I don't hold them hostage either because some choose not to have any faith at all. It's a huge learning curve I've had to negotiate. Community matters. To find a few folks who you can just walk thru life with. It's been a means to find grace in those who, thank God, are not like me.

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