I feel so alone here...

by Pams girl 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • sizemik

    Hi again Paula . . . I get really lonely too.

    New friends are not like old friends . . . they're irreplaceable really . . . old friends that is. I tried catching up with people I used to know years ago . . . but they've moved on a long way over the years and we now have little in common.

    My immediate family have little interest in me after all this time. And 7 years grappling with an anxiety disorder distanced me from my children who are now grown up.

    My wife spends a lot of time with her family and they hate my guts. I sometimes think I must be a real loser to have no friends . . . I guess that's why I'm here all the time.

    My anxiety disorder also makes reaching out to strangers a bit of an ordeal rather than exciting.

    Shit . . . what a sad old bastard I am! . . . not much help I'm sorry . . . but I know how you feel.

  • the max
    the max

    Pamsgirl, I wish I could give you a huge hug, JLP is right with regard to your friends, your showing humility and apologising will do you no harm whatsoever. Not everyone HERE, is strong independant, but then again many of us have had more shit than most, and you what they say ,what does not kill you makes you stronger.

    on a lighter not if you want to talk, you can send me a PM.

    Great bandTHE CULT, I have seen them 3 times, when you think of JW,s, think of the track HOLLOW MAN, very appropriate dont you think ?

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Pam:

    So sorry for your sadness; many of us relate to what you're coping with.

    Panic and agoraphobia are family traits. What a rollercoaster ride of emotions. One day we're the life of the party, the next we've retreated to a cave and rolled a giant rock at the entrance to keep everyone out.

    Some of "us" listen to meetings over the phone. Alone for many years now, I've begun to emerge and become more sociable. I'm now an infrequent attender at the Hall (after years away); for personal reasons I feel I must go. JWD/JWN saved my life, and I pray you just get through the day and are cheered by all the loving replies you've gotten and will continue to receive on this thread.

    Off to the KH to retrieve some genuinely worthwhile shreds of love 'mongst kith and kin ...



  • AGuest

    Greetings, dear Pam (and you, too, dear Sizemik)... and peace to you, both!

    I hate to sound trite but... "this too shall pass." At least, the "I no longer have any friends," part. I say that because I've been on this board for many years and I have no doubt you can/will make friends... if YOU want to. Very few here have been able to avoid that and have done so either because they don't really want to make friends... or they're the kind of people many would call jerks.

    As for your anxiety, some folks here might help with that, too, but it could take some time... which you may not have. So, you might need to deal with your anxiety/agoraphobia in a more tangible, professional manner. You could also keep in mind that many who followed Christ were also isolated, even persecuted, because of that. Since I don't get the impression from either of you that that is contributory, however, I won't go there.

    But don't give up. True, life isn't always "rosy" (and, for some, it seems never to be)... but it is rather short. Meaning... you really haven't a moment to waste. You're free from what could have been the most enslaving experience of your life. For whatever that's worth, you might want to take this opportunity to rejoice... and start living for a change.

    True, it's easy to sit in the house and commisserate (sp?) what was and what could have been. But it's much more rewarding to get out and do something. Even if you must start out doing it alone. You have nothing to lose, though, by doing the latter except the opportunity to spend some "quality" time... with yourself. Surely, you deserve that. Everyone does.

    Again, peace to you. Truly.

    A slave of Christ,



    Good Morning Pams Girl..

    We have all been where you are..Chin up..

    It gets better..

    ..................... ...OUTLAW

  • carla

    Hey Paula, sorry you feel so alone. Others are right, contact all your old friends/family and say hi. They will welcome you back you with open arms. Even though most people do not understand what the jw's are all about they have some idea that they are a weird group that limits contact with former friends or family once you join. Give it a try! try and find those old friends I bet they will say that think of you often and hoped you were doing well and happy.

  • mrsjones5

    Alot of great advice and love up there Paula.

    I got nothing more to add to it other than a bit of love.

  • sizemik

    I don't know how long Paula has suffered from anxiety disorder . . . and I don't want to hijack her thread.

    But as a young man I was Skydiving, Flying Aeroplanes and Drag Racing . . . I had friends all over the place.

    Then I became a JW for 30 years, got an anxiety disorder and that was that . . . no more JW friends.

    Now I look in the mirror and don't know the person looking back at me.

    I guess what I'm saying is . . . the person I miss the most is the person I used to be . . . he's a stranger to me now.

    I've had all the counselling, drugs and therapy . . . but it doesn't change that fact.

    I guess some things come at a price

  • Ding


    I've sent you a PM.

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Maybe you could go to a coffee house, order your favorite drink and people watch. The library might work too. Just physically being around others (even if no verbal communication takes place) can begin the healing.

    Would one of the above be doable if you sit near the exit? Just thinking in terms of baby steps here.

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