I feel so alone here...

by Pams girl 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pika_Chu

    Hugs for you, Pamsgirl.

    Of course, I don't know the details, but I'm going to risk it and say you probably have a chance at repairing those relationships (in addition to making new friends; I know you can do that). If those people really love you, they'll understand. And it's likely that they know a thing or two about JWs being a cult and are willing to help you. Maybe they'll see you are lonely and understand it's because of this awful cult. If they are really worth your time and energy, they'll make the effort to put themselves in your shoes and try to understand you.

  • flipper

    PAMSGIRL- My wife and I send our loving thoughts to you my friend. As many have said here, " you are not alone". Many of us have experienced what you're going through in losing good friends from the past. As you see from the board members overwhelming show of caring- there are a lot of awesome, pretty fantastic people on this board ! Hang in there friend, keep your chin up , it does get better in time. My wife & I live out in the Western United States in California, but I'll PM our phone number if you'd ever like to chat. Perhaps a good idea would be to hook up with our England friends who post on the board as well who may live near you ! Cantleave & Nugget are jewels & dear people - take them up on their offer ! I'll send you a PM. Take care

  • snowbird

    (((((((Paula, daughter of Pam)))))))

    Glad you're better.


  • satinka

    Pam's Girl

    Hugs to you. I too love gardening, and find solace in digging in the dirt. Any day now the seeds will be poking their little sprouts out of the ground. I love the twittering of the birds in the cherry tree, the apple tree, the plum tree and the blueberries.

    I am thinking you are a sensitive person. I am sorry to hear the JWs have not been very loving with you. I certainly understand what that feels like.



  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I had a full, wonderful life and lost everything to illness. It has been decades. When my illness went into remission after a new treatment, I experienced what you are describing. I was not my normal but I was not a basket case, either. For years, I was so embarassed that I became ill that I did not tell anyone what happened. My remission is a miracle. The end of my enforced isolation was just as bad as my illness. When things looked so bleak that they could not get worse. 9/ll happened. I lived in the East Village of Manhattan.

    It was a very weird feeling just hanging on. My Witness separation and early college were very similar in feeling. It was hell and painful. I started at ziltch and started to meet people. It was agony to mix and also agony to not mix. Slowly, over time, I've built a decent life. Right now my closest friend is a former high school classmate. I risked my family b/c I am white and she was black during racist times. When I talked about visiting her at college, she told me she would have to refuse to know me if the sisters saw me. It hurt me deeply. Many decades passed. She looked me up through the internet. We have conversations lasting for hours at a time.

    I don't know how long you've been away from your friends. An apology goes a long way. Even if they said they were through you with you, I bet they would change their minds. The only way to know is to ask. As for new friends, I started with interests and attended boring meetings. Lots of people have rebuilt lives. Concentration camp survivors lost their entire families and property. They forged new lives after the war.

    I predict this will not be easy for you. The abundance of your new life will be worth the price. Maybe you just need to relax a bit and let some time heal your wounds. Twelve Step programs teaching that avoiding pain is a sure way to guarantee pain. This forum should be a valuable aid. You will thank God this happened.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    A HUGE THANK YOU EVERYBODY! Im overwhelmed with all your support. x

    Satinka, you are very right, Im a sensative person, too sensative many would say. I made a terrible nurse because I used to worry about my patients even when at home, couldnt switch off the nurse in me I guess.....

    Ive taken on board all your good advice and already made changes! Ive found Nobleheart, Elm, Sleeping Beauty, Kurtbethel, and Ding on FB, and its great being able to open myself to new friendships and not feel so alone. Im hoping there may be some face to face meetings on the cards in the future, that would be fantastic. Thanks to those whove offered their phone numbers to me also, but Im not good with phones due to anxiety, but its a wonderful thing to offer, much appreciated!

    Thanks to all whove shared their stories with me, I appreciate your honesty and concern.

    Nugget and Cantleave, not sure how this radio thing works, will investigate!

    Ive just made plans to go to a birthday party of an old school friend in July, am excited and fearful.....but open to new adventures! IM GOIN' IN.......HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT........WHHEEEEEE !!!!


  • nugget

    Hi Paula we are off to wales for holiday in August so if you wanted to meet up we would love to come and give you a mug needed hug.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    You are KIDDING!!!??? ID LOVE LOVE LOVE you too!!! I will PM you my address and we can go from there! Where are you visiting? x

  • RosePetal

    'Pams girl' you have a PM

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Thanks RosePetal!

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