I feel so alone here...

by Pams girl 67 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    I hear what you are saying, ballistic. People should never diminish the cruelty of shunning. It is so damaging to us, as social animals.

    I am specifically recommending this book to Pam Paula because of her additional issues with agoraphobia.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Thank you for the link to the book.x You can call me Paula by the way....Pam was my mum. The JWs robbed me of my last precious moments with her, so I thought it fitting to call myself Pams girl in her honour....silly now because I sign out Paula everytime.

    Thanks for your comments x

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Thank you for the link to the book.x You can call me Paula by the way....Pam was my mum. The JWs robbed me of my last precious moments with her, so I thought it fitting to call myself Pams girl in her honour....silly now because I sign out Paula everytime.

    Thanks for your comments x

  • james_woods

    You are a good person, Paula. I think I will still call you Pams.

    You have many friends here.


  • kurtbethel

    Paula ---

  • diamondiiz

    I know what you mean. I would take a good guess that most of us lost good friends when we were duped into joining this cult and when we left we have to start all over. I only hope that I live to see wts colapse and be exposed for the fraud that it is. Hang in there, maybe find a club that you may be interested in to find friends. It takes time.

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    Your "worldly" family & friends will very likely accept you back.

    Worldly folks make for much better friends & family than JWs do.

  • Quandry

    I do know how you feel. My husband and I were "in" the JWs for over thirty years. When we left (we are not df'd or da'd) we were considered "dangerous" because we did not agree with the elders who df'd our teen daughter. No, we definitely did not, as they accused her of things she didn't do, and called her a liar when she wouldn't say she did. They berated and humiliated her.

    It was devastating to know that all the "friends" we'd had our entire adult lives would no longer speak to us, and if any of them did call, we would let the answering machine take it as there was no point in talking...they'd have just tried to get us to suck it up and come crawling back.

    I know the feeling of the JWs taking the precious time with your parent. For those thirty + years we distanced ourselves from family. My parents are both dead now. How I'd love to tell them we are no longer JWs and celebrate Christmas and birthdays with them.

    I second the thought that if you contact family and old friends they will be glad to hear from you.

    Wish you the best.

  • saltyoldlady

    Dear Paula - Just want you to know - I love your appealing picture and your postings. And I love the fact you are "so real" with us - so "genuine." I don't think there is a one of us that haven't felt lonely in life at some point - loved Mrs. Jones contribution of that poem. Loneliness is a universal experience - probably one of the biggest reasons we turn to religion and the concept of God. I carry on conversations with Him all day long - and somehow I think I get answers too - oh not in an audible voice, or anything like that - but just a sense of comfort, that someone else really does know my feelings and my inner longings. Others might say I'm just daft in the head, fooling myself, imagining things but whatever - for me "it's real." It works to get me out of that feeling down rut we sometimes get lodged into - reading a favorite book and carrying on a conversation in your head with the characters or author works too - the imagination can work both for us or against us. Dancing in my imagination can uplift my spirits. Music can uplift my spirits. Beauty of any kind works.

    And I have to tell you a funny story that removes my loneliness at present. I had a birdfeeder on my balcony sitting on the corner platform - viewable from my dining table where I spend a great deal of time with study and reading. I loved watching the birds come and go all day long. Then some squirrels started coming and I started tossing them whole nut meats - and THEN the rats learned how to claw their way up the wall and help themselves to the sunflower seeds, peanuts, etc. Well neither my neighbors nor the apartment building management were very enthralled with my new friends. They started setting traps under my balcony - I'm just above the ground level by about two or three feet and they even hired a professional rodent trap outfit with their little black boxes filled with "meth." Lots of critters were caught I guess - no squirrels thank goodness. I admit prejudice in favor of the squirrels. Finally they asked me to remove my birdfeeder because the seed that fell overground was attracting the rodents plus the nuts the squirrels didn't get to first. And they asked me to stop tossing nuts to the squirrels. I was SO LOW in spirit - these were my friends.

    Well I have worked out a compromise plan - the birdfeeder is now on an iron grillwork table away from all walls or chairs. The squirrels are able to jump onto it so now the four of them come right up to my balcony and one even alerts me to when the nuts are gone by clawing on my sliding glass door, waits patiently on the table while I replace the larder. The rats are unable to get to the food on the table (except for two very smart fellows) turns out there are six of them - they never seem to get caught in the traps - and they use my deck as a play pen - are lots of entertainment and laughter for me - if I step out there they all disappear. But I was feeling sorry for them because I have been keeping the balcony carefully swept everyday to keep my landlady happy so there just is no food for them. Yet they look very healthy, shiny coats, and are growing rapidly. So they are finding food elsewhere that is sufficient and then I witnessed one of my local bluejays come to their rescue - he wanted peanuts - and he started impatiently flicking all the sunflower seeds out of the tray to find the peanuts or pistachio's but the sunflower seeds fall easily thru the grillwork of the table and the rats are happy. Now when they hear the jay's caw they all gather round for the feeding frenzy. So God's critters keep me from ever being lonely - haven't been evicted yet. That's probably coming next. LOL.

  • Mat

    Glad we helped. I'm in UK too. Can't seem to say so on mu profile

Share this